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We can already hear some of you saying, “Ewwww…. Yuck! Frying the black pepper would make the bacon taste NASTY!”

In response to your uneducated and quite premature response to the idea of Black Pepper Bacon we say, “Good! That means more Black Pepper Bacon for us!”

Appearance:

Take a look at the dark and lovely meatiness of the bacon. Given the fact that we picked up this from a large volume retailer of grocery products and every other type of item imaginable you can understand why we found ourselves quite impressed with the appearance of Black Pepper Bacon.

We seriously expected to find a nasty looking, slime covered wad of sub-standard bacon with black pepper clumps haphazardly added… but nope! We got a pound of gorgeous, meaty bacon covered with a very nice coating of black pepper and other seasonings.

Take a closer look at the Black Pepper Bacon and TRY to tell us you don’t feel drool building up in your mouth! We dare you!

Cooking the Bacon:

Given that we had thick slices to cook, instinct told us to keep a close watch on the heat so as not to wind up with crispy outsides and uncooked middles. Now THAT, good people, would make even some die-hard bacon lovers say, “Yuck!” — but not us. Lol. We’d still eat it.

At first the black pepper bacon laid pretty still and didn’t have a lot of ‘curling up’ going on. that caught our attention and caused us to wonder if perhaps we ought to turn the heat up, but we stayed strong in our belief that this bacon would require gentler heating due to its thickness and refrained from cranking up the heat.

Soon we started to hear the beloved sound of bacon cooking in our pan and even though we saw very little curling taking place, the rich, meaty smell of bacon cooking which filled the air provided us with more than enough proof that we made the right decision when it came to the cooking temperature.

Above you see what four strips of the Black Pepper Bacon looked like right before we flipped them over. Beautiful site, right? The piece on the far right came from the end of the slab so it had a great deal more pepper on one side than all the other pieces — except, of course, for the piece on the OTHER end of the slab.

All About the Bacon Grease:

After our encounter with Fresh Market Bacon a few weeks ago we have started to pay closer attention to the volume of grease produced by (8) eight strips of bacon.

Why did we opt to use eight strips and not ten, twenty or even just one strip as the metering point? Simple: We noticed that after cooking eight strips of Fresh Market Bacon we had a serious need to pour out the bacon grease before we could cook more bacon in the pan. From that point forward we decided to take note of the grease level after cooking eight strips of bacon.

Not bad! Not bad at all! After cooking eight strips of Black Pepper Bacon we did not feel obligated to pour out the grease before cooking more bacon.

Final Appearances:

When it come to food some people base 99% of their opinion on its appearance. We feel that 100% of those same people would LOVE the way this bacon looked once we laid it out on a plate.

Look at those tasty meat strips laying their in all their glory. Needless to say we moved on to the taste test pretty rapidly.

Eating the Black Pepper Bacon:

Wow. The immediate taste did not smack us in face right away with the spiciness of its black pepper seasoning. Instead, we had time to start chewing for a bit before it snuck up on us and provided a very pleasant taste to accompany the savory bacon meat.

The Black Pepper Bacon did not get overly crispy and its meat retained a very enjoyable texture. We also noticed that the fatty portions did not fill our mouthes or coat our lips with slimy grease the way Slab Bacon did.

Conclusions:

This bacon will definitely become a regular purchase in our home. It looked wonderful right out of the package, cooked up without creating a gallon of grease, looked great in the pan, had a superb appearance after cooking, and its peppered exterior provided a delicious peppery taste that didn’t overwhelm the flavor of the bacon itself.

For those not able to keep up with all that, we can sum our experience with Black Pepper Bacon up in three words: We loved it!

We give “black pepper bacon” a final rating of 5 strips (out of 5). A perfect score!

Bacon Weaving?

Apparently the beers we drank during the cooking process resulted in some post-cooking insanity. We weaved together a bunch of black pepper bacon strips… for no apparent reason. Ha ha. Check it out!

Huh? What? you wanna’ get closer to the weaved black pepper bacon? No problem!

Deep in the back woods, of Letcher County, Kentucky, a hillbilly’s wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery.

Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to-be a lantern and said, “Here. You hold this high so I can see what I am doing!.”

Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world. “Whoa there”, said the doctor, “Don’t be in such a rush to put that lantern down I think theres another one coming.”

Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered a baby girl. “Hold that lantern up, don’t set it down there’s another one!” Said the doctor.

Within a few minutes he had delivered a third baby “No, don’t be in a hurry to put down that lantern, it seems theres yet another one coming!” cried the doctor.

The Hillbilly scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor, . .. . . .

“You reckon it might be the light that’s attractin’ ’em?”

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THE BOSS WALKED INTO THE OFFICE ONE MORNING NOT KNOWING THAT HIS ZIPPER WAS DOWN AND HIS FLY AREA WAS WIDE OPEN.

HIS SECRETARY WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID “BOSS, THIS MORNING WHEN YOU LEFT YOUR HOUSE, DID YOU CLOSE YOUR GARAGE DOOR?”

THIS WAS NOT A PHRASE THAT HER BOSS UNDERSTOOD, SO HE WENT INTO HIS OFFICE LOOKING A BIT PUZZLED.

WHEN HE WAS ABOUT DONE WITH HIS PAPERWORK HE SUDDENLY NOTICED THAT HIS ZIPPER WAS DOWN. HE ZIPPED UP AND REMEMBERING WHAT HIS SECRETARY HAD TOLD HIM EARLIER, HE FINALLY UNDERSTOOD. HE INTENTIONALLY WENT OUT TO ASK FOR A CUP OF COFFEE FROM HIS SECRETARY.

HAVING MORE EGO THAN SENSE, HE WALKED TO HER DESK, SMIRKED AND ASKED HER, “WHEN YOU SAW THE GARAGE DOOR OPEN DID YOU SEE MY HUMMER PARKED IN THERE?”

THE SECRETARY SMILED FOR A MOMENT AND SAID, “NO BOSS, I DIDN’T. ALL I SAW WAS A MINI COOPER WITH 2 FLAT TIRES.”

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FEMALE GEOGRAPHY

– Between 18 and 20, a woman is like Afrca : wild, naturally beautiful and full of mysterious, fertile deltas.

– Between 21 and 30, a woman is like America : well-developed and open for trade, especially for those with stacks of money.

– Between 31 and 35, a woman is like India : sensual, relaxed, in full bloom, aware of her beauty.

– Between 36 and 40, a woman is like France : deliciously mature, still a pleasant destination to visit.

– Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Yugoslavia : a lost war, haunted by the mistakes of the past. Major reconstruction work is the only answer.

– Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Russia : vast, with undefined frontier. The cold climate puts off any potential visitors.

– Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Mongolia : a glorious past, great conquests, but without a future.

– After 70, a woman is like Afghanistan : many know its whereabouts, but no-one dares to venture there…

MALE GEOGRAPHY

– Between 15 and 70, a man is like the USA : ruled by a dick…

“Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.”

— Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady — and you didn’t think Barbara had a sense of humor)

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1. We know what you’re doing when you put your hand in your pocket.

2. If you’re funny, we will sleep with you.

3. If, while driving, you check yourself out in the rearview more that you check us out, we will never get into another car with you.

4. When you see a woman chewing gum, she is counting. Next time you see a woman chewing gum, ask her what number she’s up to.

5. It’s sexy when you cook for us. Unless you’re wearing an apron, then it’s just weird.

6. It’s the circumference stupid! The numerical measurement of the bra has nothing to do with the size of our boobs.

7. Never take credit for something we did. Unless that something is farting, we’ll never raise our hands on that one.

8. The fact that you hesitate before using our razor because it’s pink and might make you look gay is equal parts cute and pathetic.

9. It’s not our period that’s making us moody, it’s you.

10. If you ask a woman to spend the night and she says no, accept it. Don’t try to convince her by offering her breakfast. Any woman that is swayed by the prospect of an omlette probably isn’t a keeper.

11. We order our salad dressing on the side because we are control freaks. We can’t control you, so we control lettuce.

12. We do not like it when you pound on the bathroom door and say “is everything ok in there?” Trust us, you do not want to know what’s going on in there.

13. PMS is real. It’s chemical and it sucks. If someone told you that you would be repeatedly kicked in the balls every thirty days, you’d probably get moody around day twenty-six too.

14. Women have a sixth sense, like Santa Claus, we know if you’ve been bad or good. So you know what to do….. for goodness sake.

15. Fast dancing with you is like watching a stray dog trot down the interstate. We pray for a miracle but know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that a horrific tragedy is about to occur. That is why we prefer fast dancing with our girlfriends. It has nothing to do with secret lesbian desires.