Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

A new Army Captain was assigned to an outfit in a remote post in the African desert.

During his first inspection of the outfit, he noticed a camel hitched up behind the mess tent. He asks the Sergeant why the camel is kept there.

The nervous sergeant said, “Well sir, as you know, there are 250 men here on the post, and no women. And sir, sometimes the men have ‘urges’. That’s why we have the camel.”

The Captain says, “I can’t say that I condone this, but I understand about ‘urges’, so the camel can stay.”

About a month later, the Captain starts having his own urges. Crazy with passion, he asks the Sergeant to bring the camel to his tent. Putting a ladder behind the camel, the Captain stands on the ladder, pulls his pants down and has wild, insane sex with the camel.

When he’s done, he asks the Sergeant, “Is that how the men do it?”

“No, not really, sir. They usually just ride the camel into town where the girls are.”

My girlfriend was in labor with our first child. She was shouting out, “Get this out of me? Give me the drugs.”

She looked at me and said, “You did this to me you bastard!”

I casually replied, “If you would care to remember, I wanted to stick it up your butt… and you said, ‘No, it’ll be too painful.’

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As punishment for the gratuitous ‘scantily clad ladies’ postings he will deny having any knowledge of, Blakk Frogg now must post jokes that poke fun at….. men.

1. Men are like ….Laxatives …… They irritate the crap out of you.

2. Men are like ..Bananas …… The older they get, the less firm they are.

3. Men are like ……Weather ….. Nothing can be done to change them.

4. Men are like …..Blenders …. You need one, but you’re not quite sure why.

5. Men are like …..Chocolate Bars … Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.

6. Men are like ….Commercials …… You can’t believe a word they say.

7. Men are like ..Department Stores …. Their clothes are always 1/2 off.

8. Men are like …….Government Bonds ….. They take soooooooo long to mature.

9. Men are like ……Mascara ….. They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

10. Men are like .Popcorn .. They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

11. Men are like . Snowstorms … You never know when they’re coming, how many inches you’ll get or how long it will last.

12. Men are like …….Lava Lamps … Fun to look at, but not very bright.

13. Men are like Parking Spots ……. All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

“According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful.”

–Robert De Niro

A mother was ironing the clean laundry one day. Her son asked her, “Mother, why are you ironing those clothes?”

His mother said, “To make them nice and wrinkle free.”

Her son said, “Then, why don’t you iron Grandma’s face?

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Trying to disprove the saying “You can’t take it with you,” a stingy old lawyer, diagnosed with a terminal illness, finally figured out how to take at least some of his fortune with him when he died.

He instructed his wife to go to the bank and withdraw enough money to fill two pillowcases. He then told her to take the bags of money to the attic and leave them directly above his bed. When he passed away, he planned to reach out and grab the bags on his way to Heaven.

Several weeks after the funeral, his wife, up in the attic cleaning, came upon the two forgotten pillow cases stuffed with cash.

“Oh, that old fool!” she exclaimed. “I knew I should have put the money in the basement.”

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Laugh your butt off at the??Simply Frogg Jokes Page.

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized that the Lord doesn’t work that way, so I stole a bike and asked Him to forgive me.

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“Oh, boy! I’m glad you’re here,” the little boy said to his grandmother on his mother’s side.

“Why?” she asked.

“Because now Daddy will do the trick he’s been promising us.”

“What trick?”

“Well, he told Mommy that if you came to visit, he would climb the walls.”

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