Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

Archive for the ‘Funny Pictures’ Category

The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.


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Do you realize that in about 40 years, we’ll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?

Money can’t buy happiness — but somehow it’s more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than in a Hyundai.

Drinking makes some husbands see double and feel single.

Living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween.


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After a certain age, if you don’t wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead.


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Back in grade school Blakk Frogg used to get in trouble all the time for acting like a fool in school… and for rhyming words like turds and birds.

He did not, however, get in trouble for saying things like, “You should have seen the size of the dick walking in the road this morning!


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Some people either have no life or lose drunken bar bets way too often. da’ blakk frogg joke blog takes no reponsibility for other bar patrons’ ridiculous claims after they drink their 7th beer, but it will make fun of them for days on end afterwards. Guaranteed.

Have you seen the newly added sarcastic myspace comments yet? If not, well… YOU SUCK!

On my work to work this morning I got cut off by this dick in a truck…


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Yeah… definitely a giant dick in that truck. So, so rude. He’s lucky I didn’t develop road rage and castrate him!

Hope all well out there wherever the hell you live!

blakk frogg

Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and 3 kids each for six weeks.

Each kid will play two sports and either take music or dance classes.

There is no fast food.


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Each man must take care of his 3 kids; keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, complete science projects, cook, do laundry, and pay a list of “pretend” bills with not enough money.

In addition, each man will have to budget in money for groceries each week.

Each man must remember the birthdays of all their friends and relatives, and send cards out on time.

Each man must also take each child to a doctor’s appointment, a dentist appointment and a haircut appointment. He must make one unscheduled and inconvenient visit per child to the Urgent Care (weekend, evening, on a holiday or right when they’re about to leave for vacation). He must also make cookies or cupcakes for a social function.

Each man will be responsible for decorating his own assigned house, planting flowers outside and keeping it presentable at all times.

The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.

Each father will be required to know all of the words to every stupid song that comes on TV and the name of each and every character on cartoons.


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Each man will have to make an Indian hut model with six toothpicks, a tortilla and one marker; and get a 4 year old to eat a serving of peas.

Each man must adorn himself with jewelry, wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes, keep their nails polished and eyebrows groomed. The men must try to get through each day without snot, spit-up or barf on their clothing.

During one of the six weeks, the men will have to endure severe abdominal cramps, back aches, and have extreme, unexplained mood swings but never once complain or slow down from other duties. They must try to explain what a tampon is for when the 6-yr old boy finds it in the purse.

They must attend weekly school meetings, church, and find time at least once to spend the afternoon at the park or a similar setting.

He will need to read a book to the children each night without falling asleep, and then feed them, dress them, brush their teeth and comb their hair each morning by 7:00. They must leave the home with no food on their face or clothes.

A test will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will be required to know all of the following information: each child’s birthday, height, weight, shoe size, clothes size and doctor’s name.

Also the child’s weight at birth, length, time of birth, and length of labor, each child’s favorite colour, middle name, favorite snack, favorite song, favorite drink, favorite toy, biggest fear and what they want to be when they grow up.

They must clean up after their sick children at 2:00 a.m. and then spend the remainder of the day tending to that child and waiting on them hand and foot until they are better.

They must have a loving, age appropriate reply to, “You’re not the boss of me”.

The kids vote them off the island based on performance. The last man wins only if … he still has enough energy to be intimate with his spouse at a moment’s notice.


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For years people have asked Blakk Frogg for any easy-to-understand tutorial explaining the primary and most imporatant difference between men and women. Finally, after years of careful research and numerous failed attmepts, Blakk Frogg has, indeed, come up with an easy-to-understand guide explaining the differences between men and women…..


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For those still confused, well, there’s no hope for you. Kill yourselves immediately.

27 Nov, 2007

Alligator Hunts Deer

Posted by: admin In: Funny Pictures

This picture was taken by a KTBS helicopter flying over Lake Conroe! (For those of you who are not local, Lake Conroe is in Conroe, TX – just north of Houston & south of Tyler).

That has to be a HUGE gator! There’s a whole deer in its mouth! Are you ready to go skiing on Lake Conroe?! If you ski at the west end of the lake — try not to fall in!

This alligator was found between Athens and Palestine, Texas near a house. How would you like to meet this fella in the dark? Never let it be said that we don’t grow them big in Texas.

Game wardens were forced to shoot the alligator – something about the gator resisting arrest…

Anita and Charlie Rogers could hear the bellowing in the night.

Their neighbors had been telling them that they had seen a mammoth alligator in the waterway that runs behind their house, but they dismissed the stories as exaggerations. “I didn’t believe it,” Charles Rogers said. Friday they realized the stories were, if anything, understated. Texas Parks and Wildlife game wardens had to shoot the beast.

Joe Goff, 6’5″ tall, a game warden with the Texas Parks and Wildlife Department, walks past a 23-foot, 1-inch alligator that he shot and killed in their back yard.

In an effort to combat a recent swing in public opinion that fast food makes people fat, lowers their sex drive, and cause penis shrinkage, several new advertisements have popped up in popular magazines. These ads show how fast food can actually HELP with a person’s sex drive and get them laid. See below for an example of just such an ad:


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You’ll find more nonsense like the above picture on….. Sarcastic MySpace Comments!

Quite often as a child Blakk Frogg got scolded for using poor table manners. He has since refined his eating skills and actually refrains from shoving his face directly ito the pasta bowl — unlike these ladies:


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Where can you find a photograph like this one? Travel to Munich, Germany and have dinner or lunch at a specific restaurant located next to the old Munich Airport.

Despite Charlie Brown’s yearly proclamation to Linus that the Great Pumpkin does not exist, Blakk Frogg has found shocking evidence that TWO Great Pumpkins exist, and not just one:


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Now who besides Blakk Frogg can’t wait to see the proof of Spring Cherry Blossoms? 😛

OK, Blakk Frogg admits that he did not post a joke here, but damn it, man, this story taken from www.theregister.co.uk made him laugh real hard. A guy gets disqualified from a race down an inflatable doll race down a river because he “boinked” his raft along the way. Quality entertainment all the way around! Read for yourself:

“A participant in the annual Sex Dolls Rafting Tournament near St Petersburg was disqualified in shame for ‘”sexual abuse of apparatus’, Mosnews reports.”

inflatable doll race

“The event – held on the Vuoksa river and sponsored by ‘a number of Russian sex shops’ – this year attracted 400 athletes determined to tackle the choppy 1,200 metre course with nothing more than an inflatable partner for buoyancy, as our pic shows.”

“As organiser, Dmitriy Bulaviniv told Zizn’ newspaper: ‘It’s fun and difficult to swim in stormy river with an exotic apparatus, as inflatable ladies slip out of hands.'”

“Yes they do. According to Mosnews’s entertaining commentary, as ‘strong wind and flow snatched out resilient dolls from strong men’s hands’, only 40-year-old Igor Osipov was left to make the final climactic dash to the finish line. At this point, however, ‘the jury then noticed Osipov’s strange position and told him to moor. When he came out of the water, gazers saw signs of recent sexual activity on the swimmer’s doll.'”

“The mind boggles. The judges then ‘found the swimmer guilty of sexual abuse of the apparatus and disqualified him’ because, as the organisers explained: ‘Air sex dolls can be used only for swimming.'”

——————–

Some folks may consider the idea of racing down a freezing cold rivcer with an inflatable sex doll in tow a poor representation of humanity….. but Blakk Frogg has decided to sponsor a team next year if he wins the lottery.


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About This Site


First of all, you will like this site because it has lots of sarcasm, plenty of humor, and a healthy dose of everything your dear mommy warned you not touch when taking a shower at the local athletic club.


  • admin: How can people not like this photo? Seriously. These girls have WONDERFUL personalities that just leap out of their shirts, er, eyes. Yes. Blakk Fr
  • admin: In other news, the children ingested so much of the drug that it took their parents a solid two weeks to catch the little bastards and beat their behi
  • Intimate Touch Tuesday | MySpace Comments & Jokes: [...] you survived the horror called Monday and showed back up to face… Tuesday. Good for you! As a reward for your devotion and effort, [...]