Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

Having nice sex burns 358 calories.

Having rough sex [making it hurt] burns 543 calories.

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

Take off her clothes with her consent: 12 cal

Take off her clothes without her consent: 187 cal

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

Take off her bra with two hands: 8 cal

Take off her bra with one hand: 12 cal

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

Take off her bra with mouth: 85 cal

Putting on Protection …

Hard: 6 cal
Soft: 315 cal

Foreplay …

Looking for Target: 8 cal
Finding G spot: 92 cal
I Don’t F#$king Care: 0 cal

Entry …

Holding Her: 12 cal
On the Floor: 8 cal

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

Entry With Different Position …

Missionary: 358 cal
Doggy: 316 cal
69 Lying: 286 cal
69 Standing: 512 cal
Italian Hanger: 912 cal

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

Orgasm …

Real: 112 cal
Faking It: 315 cal

After the ‘Big O’ …

Lying in Bed: 18 cal
Hop off the Bed: 36 cal
Wondering why she left pissed off: 816 cal

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

Getting Dressed …

Quiet and Calm: 32 cal
Rushing: 98 cal
Her Boyfriend Opening the Door: 1218 cal
Her Dad opening the Door: 1942 cal

1) Did you fart, cause you blew me away.

2) Are your parents retarded, ’cause you sure are special.

3) My Love for you is like diarrhea … I can’t hold it in and it runs like a river.

Americas Best MySpace Redneck Comments

4) Do you have a library card, ’cause I’d sure like to sign you out.

5) Is there a mirror in your pants? Because I can see myself in them.

6) If you and I were Squirrels, I’d store my nuts in your hole.

Americas Best MySpace Redneck Comments

7) You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away, sweetheart.

8) Man – “Fat Penguin!”
Woman – “WHAT?”
Man – “I just wanted to say something that would break the ice.”

9) I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed-rock.

Americas Best MySpace Redneck Comments

10) I can’t find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.

11) Your eyes are as blue as window cleaner.

12) If you’re going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon.

Americas Best MySpace Redneck Comments

and…. saving the best for last!

13) Your face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts tighten up.

Blakk Frogg says, “Steven Wright a very funny guy. Don’t know if he’d make a very funny woman, though.”

= = = = = = = = =

One of my favorite comics, as I stated in an edition of americas-best.com, was, and still is, a strange fellow named Steven Wright.

Ever so simple and direct, his words speak volumes.

Below are 20 of statements he’s made. If you’re anything like me, you’ll really enjoy reading them.

Simply Frogg and Americas Best
free myspace pics, comments & graphics

Simply Frogg and Americas Best
free jokes, comments and graphics

Americas Best MySpace Comments

Simply Frogg and Americas Best
free jokes, comments and graphics

Sarcastic MySpace Comments

Find more awesome Steven Wright stuff at his official website.

It was snowing heavily and blowing to the point that visibility was almost zero when the little blonde got off work. She made her way to her car and wondered how she was going to make it home.

Simply Frogg and Americas Best
free jokes, comments and graphics

She sat in her car while it warmed up and thought about her situation.

She finally remembered her daddy’s advice that if she got caught in a blizzard she should wait for a snow plow to come by and follow it. That way she would not get stuck in a snow drift.

This made her feel much better and sure enough in a little while a snow plow went by and she started to follow it. As she followed the snow plow she was feeling very smug as they continued and she was not having any problem with the blizzard conditions.

Simply Frogg and Americas Best
free jokes, comments and graphics

After an hour had passed, she was somewhat surprised when the snowplow stopped and the driver got out and came back to her car and signaled for her to roll down her window. The snow plow driver wanted to know if she was all right as she had been following him for a long time.

She said that she was fine and told him of her daddy’s advice to follow a snow plow when caught in a blizzard.

The driver replied that it was ok with him and she could continue if she wanted, but he was done with the Wal-Mart parking lot and was going over to Sears next.

Simply Frogg and Americas Best
free myspace pics, comments & graphics

Thanks for tuning in to see the top fifteen MySpace Comments on Americas-Best.Com for the month of January 2007! You picked ’em so don’t blame us, damn it!

Americas Best MySpace Comments

Americas Best MySpace Comments

Americas Best MySpace Comments

Americas Best MySpace Comments

Americas Best MySpace Comments

Popular MySpace Comments 6 – 10

A month has passed since we last treated you to a list of the most popular entries on Da’ Blakk Frogg Joke Blog… so here ya’ go, ya’ filthy little bastards. Enjoy!

1. Popular Sexual & Adult MySpace Comments
2. Obsessed w/ Camel Toe?
3. Sexual & Adult MySpace Comments?
4. Sweet Devon Black Panties & Bra Pics
5. Oral Sex, People! Oral Sex!
6. Popular Adult MySpace Comments
7. Ultimate Redneck MySpace Comment
8. I Believe in Sexy Saturdays
9. Potato Prostitute
10. Popular Sarcastic MySpace Comments (Dec 2007)

– Da’ Blakk Frogg Joke Blog Main Page –

As if fat people don’t have enough trouble fitting into plane seats, finding clothes that fit, keeping food in their cupboards, affording outrageous grocery bills, and maintaining self-esteem despite continuous ridicule from people in their surroundings….. Now there exists a more sinister problem for them:

Sarcastic MySpace Comments

So if ya’ wanna’ do that Advanced Sex Position on page 33 of your manual, you’re gonna’ want to lose a few pounds first!

– blakk frogg

Ever wonder what happened when Charlie Brown hit puberty? Blakk Frogg certainly did!

Would that ‘blockhead’ actually develop a set of nuts and shove his cartoon meat stick in a classmate or would he spend the bulk of his adolescence frequenting pay-per-view porn theaters dodging gooey stains on the floor?

After some reseach, we finally have the answer:

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

OK, folks, there you have it. Charlie Brown had a rough start to puberty but once he got the hang of his newly found appendage, he became a true pimp.

Blakk Frogg has always found great amusement in watching people inverting their bodies over a keg while their friends held the business end of a tap (the hose for all you rookies out there) in their mouth… with the idea in their head that the longer they stay inverted and drinking, the more people will respect and admire them.

Americas Best MySpace Drinking Comments

OK, well that worked at frat parties, house parties and even at a variety of other types of parties that Blakk Frogg has had the pleasure of attending. But NOW he thinks he has found the Ultimate Time for a Keg Stand!

No, not after a mid-term. No, not after graduating college. No, not after winning the lottery and finding out you also inherited all of Microsoft, either.

Think of it this way: Nothing screams, “I’m so happy to be getting hitched!” more than doing a keg stand at your own wedding… in your wedding dress!

Americas Best MySpace Redneck Comments

Now no one’s saying that sort of behavior is wrong, but it certainly is a bit unusual… Bottoms Up!

“I miss you! I really miss you! & I tried to visit you, but the dumb ass security guard wouldn’t let me in the zoo!”

“Pussy is like a peach. It’s fat, full of juice, & if you go in deep enough, you’ll get a nut.”

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

“After great sex, she lies there playing with his penis. He asks, “Do you want more?” “No,” she says, “just admiring your penis. I miss mine.”

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

“How does a vagina look before sex? Like a lovely pink rose. How does a vagina look after sex? Ever seen a bulldog eating mayonnaise.”

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

“SPECIAL REPORT: The police are arresting hoochies w/ good coochies. Run bitch run!! They already got me!” (I’ve also heard this one the other way around… “You don’t have to worry, but come bail me out.”)

“Li’l red riding hood met the big bad wolf at the club. He took her home & asked, “Can I stick it in?” She said, “No, Just stick to the story & eat me!”

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

“Mr Penis said to the balls, “Get ready we’re going to a party.” His balls said, “Fuckin’ liar! You always go inside & leave us outside knockin’, bitch!”

“Women have unique magic tricks. They get wet w/o water, bleed w/o injury, and make boneless things hard.”

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

“How do you feel abt oral sex? Does it go both ways? If so, then sitting on my face is a good idea. I’d like to invite you over for a formal sitting.”

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

“3 of my hoes escaped last night. I found 1 @ a strip club, 1 on a corner, but where the fuck are you?!”

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

“Snow White was fired from Disney World today. She was caught sitting on Pinochio’s face screaming, “Lie mother fucker, lie!”