Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

One winter year, these two little fleas headed for the warm sunny beaches of California to escape the cold. The first flea got there and started rubbing suntan lotion on his little flea arms and his little flee legs. Just then, the second flea arrived just a shiverin’ and a shakin’.

The first flea asked, “What the hell happened to you?”

To which the second flea replied “I just rode out here on a bikers mustache and I’m so very coldddd!”

The first flea said, “Don’t you know the special trick to gettin here, first you go to the airport, go straight to the ladies bathroom, wait for a pretty young stewardess to come along, and when she sits down you climb right up in there where its nice and warm”.

The second flea agreed that this was a grand idea. The next winter comes along and it was time for the fleas to head for the sunny beaches again. The first flea arrived and began putting suntan lotion on his little flea arms and his little flea legs. About that time, the second flea arrived again just a shiverin’, shakin’, and mumbling about how cold he was.

The first flea exclaimed “Didn’t you learn anything that I taught you about getting here nice and warm?”

To which the second flea replied, “I did just as you said; I went to the ladies bathroom and this pretty stewardess came in and sat down. I climbed right up in there and it was so very warm. Next thing I know we stop at a bar and I fell asleep. All of a sudden I woke and there I was, right back on that bikers mustache!”

Time again to recap the most popular jokes on Da’ Blakk Frogg Joke Blog for the past 30 days! Seems that a lot of you like sex, pretty girls and that sort of thing this month. . . Ya’ bunch of horny bastards! 😛

• Potato Prostitute
• Popular Sexual & Adult Myspace Comments
• Popular Adult MySpace Comments
• Sexual Adult MySpace Comments?
• Best Redneck MySpace Comment
• Sweet Devon Black Bra & Panties
• Groom Gets Revenge
• Sweet Devon Jersey Pics
• Quick and Dirty Jokes
• Wife Got Caught Cheating?

Blakk Frogg wants to give honorable mention to Calories Burned During Sex, Carolina Panthers Cheerleader Has a NICE Ass, Tightrope Walker and the 85 Year Old Blowjob, Blonde and the Bodybuilder and 365 Attempts to Have Sex.

Well, that’s all for now. . . but don’t fret because blakk frogg will return again with some new lists of the most popular myspace comments on his myspace resource sites!

The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex . This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone and you both have sex until you are blue in the face.

The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex . This is when you have been with your partner for a short time and you are so horny you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen.

The 3rd kind of sex is called: Bedroom Sex . This is when you have been with your partner for a long time. Your sex has gotten routine and you usually have sex only in your bedroom.

The 4th kind of sex is called: Hallway Sex . This is when you have been with your partner for too long. When you pass each other in the hallway you both say “screw you”.

The 5th kind of sex is called: Courtroom Sex . This is when you cannot stand your partner anymore. Then they take you to Court and screw you in front of everyone.

The 6th kind is called Religious Sex, which means you get Nun in the morning, Nun in the afternoon and Nun at night.

…….

OOPS. Don’t forget the 7th kind of sex – Social Security Sex . You get a little each month…. But not enough to live on.

Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other outside the operating room. The first kid leans over and asks, “What are you in here for?”

The second kid says, “I’m in here to get my tonsils out and I’m a little nervous.”

The first kid says, “You’ve got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was 4. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It’s a breeze.”

The second kid then asks, “What are you here for?”

The first kid says, “A circumcision.”

And the second kid says, “Whoa, Good luck buddy, I had that done when I was born. Couldn’t walk for a year.”

Two little boys in first grade were chosen to be the leads in their first school play. It was to be a Shakespearean play. The first little boy was to say, “My fair maiden… I have come to snatch a kiss and fill your soul with hope.” The second little boy was to reply by saying, “Hark!, a pistol shot.”

Well, on opening night in the school auditorium, the two little boys were a bit nervous, knowing that all the seats were going to be filled with grown-ups. The teacher told them to take their places on the stage and to remember to speak very loud as soon as the curtain goes up. The curtain rose and looking out upon the audience the two boys were terrified.

They stood there frozen. So the teacher whispered for them to begin. The first boy yelled out these unforgettable words….. “My fair maiden…. I have come to kiss your snatch! And fill your hole with soap.”

The second boy screams out…..”Hark! a shistol pot, a postle shiss, a pot of shit, horse shit, this is bull shit… I never wanted to be in this stupid play anyway…”

Tom had been in the liquor business for 25 years. Finally sick of the stress he quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible. He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it’s total peace and quiet. After six months or so, of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door.

He opens it and sees a huge, bearded man standing there.

“Name’s Lars, your neighbor from forty miles up the road. Having a Christmas party Friday night… Thought you might like to come. About 5:00.”

“Great”, says Tom. “After six months out here I’m ready to meet some local folks. Thank you.”

As Lars is leaving, he stops. “Gotta warn you…… There’s gonna be some drinkin’.”

“Not a problem” says Tom. “After 25 years in the business, I can drink with the best of ’em.”

Again, the big man starts to leave and stops. “More ‘n’ likely gonna be some fightin’ too.”

“Well, I get along with people, I’ll be all right. I’ll be there, Thanks again.”

“More’n likely be some wild sex, too,” says Lars.

“Now that’s really not a problem,” says Tom, warming to the idea. “I’ve been all alone for six months! I’ll definitely be there. By the way, what should I wear?”

“Don’t much matter. Just gonna’ be the two of us.”

A guy and a girl meet at a bar. They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl’s place. A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands.

He then takes off his trousers and washes his hands again. The girl has been watching him and says, “You must be a dentist.”

The guy, surprised, says “Yes… how did you figure that out?”

“Easy,” she replied. “You keep washing your hands.”

One thing led to another and they make love. After they’re done, the girl says, “You must be a good dentist.”

The guy, now with a boosted ego says, “Sure, I’m a good dentist, how did you figure that out?”

The girl nonchalantly replied, “I Didn’t feel a thing.”

A woman is driving at night on a narrow country road. At the same time a man is driving quite fast in the opposite direction on that same road.

When they narrowly pass each other at high speed, the woman rolls down her window and loudly shouts – HORSE! Immediately the man shouts back – B**CH! The man laughs. He is proud to have reacted so quickly to the shouting woman and takes the next turn in the road, maintaining his high rate of speed.

Then, as suddenly and unexpectedly as the woman had screamed at him….

Another Funny Pic From Americas Best

Moral of the story: Men never listen and when they do, they don’t understand one word a woman says.

An engineer, a phsicist and a mathematician are staying in a hotel.

The engineer wakes up and smells smoke. He goes out into the hallway and sees a fire, so he fills a trash can from his room with water and douses the fire. He goes back to bed.

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Later, the physicist wakes up and smells smoke. He opens his door and sees a fire in the hallway. He walks down the hall to a fire hose and after calculating the flame velocity, distance, water pressure, trajectory, etc. extinguishes the fire with the minimum amount of water and energy needed.

Later, the mathematician wakes up and smells smoke. He goes to the hall, sees the fire and then the fire hose. He thinks for a moment and then exclaims, “Ah, a solution exists!” and then goes back to bed.

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John the farmer was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers (hens), called “pullets”, and ten roosters, whose job it was to fertilize the eggs (for you city folks).

The farmer kept records and any rooster that didn’t perform, went into the soup pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot of his time, so he bought a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone so John could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing.

Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells.

The farmer’s favorite rooster was old G. W. Butch, and a very fine specimen he was, too. But on this particular morning John noticed old Butch’s bell hadn’t rung at all! John went to investigate.

The other roosters were chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing. The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.

But to Farmer John’s amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn’t ring. He’d sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.

John was so proud of old Butch, he entered him in the Renfrew County Fair and he became an overnight sensation among the judges.

The result: The judges not only awarded old Butch the No Bell Piece Prize but they also awarded him the Pulletsurprise as well.

Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making: who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most highly coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populace and screwing them when they weren’t paying attention.

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