Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

Archive for the ‘Blakk Frogg Speaks’ Category

UPDATE: This morning Blakk Frogg learned that the Associated Press (AP) has retracted the Paris Hilton elephant story . Wow. One has to guess, then, that they had nothing better to report on that day.

Apparently they couldn’t find anything to say about….. rising gas prices, the recent increase in chlamydia cases in the United States, the fact that 40% of people surveyed recently don’t know AIDS has a 100% kill rate, the obvious instability of the stock market, millions of people losing their homes as a result of crappy/shady loan agreements, the cost of living rising WAY above the average person’s income level, etc.

On a happier note, you can read Blakk Frogg’s take on the original, now retracted, Paris Hilton story below:

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Big surprise everyone! Paris Hilton made the news again…. only this time for something a bit more noble than performing poorly in a homemade pornographic movie. Of all the strange news articles that have come across Blakk Frogg’s computer screen in recent days, this one certainly did make him say….. What the Fuck?!?!?

Taken from MSN.Com on 11/13/07:

GAUHATI, India — Paris Hilton is being praised by conservationists for highlighting the problem of binge-drinking elephants in northeastern India.

Activists said a celebrity endorsement such as Hilton’s was sure to raise awareness of the plight of the pachyderms that get drunk on farmers’ homemade rice beer and then go on a rampage.

“The elephants get drunk all the time. It is becoming really dangerous. We need to stop making alcohol available to them,” the 26-year-old socialite said in a report posted on World Entertainment News Network’s Web site. Her comments were picked up by other Web sites and newspapers around the globe.

Last month, six wild elephants that broke into a farm in the state of Meghalaya were electrocuted after drinking the potent brew and then uprooting an electricity pole.

“There would have been more casualties if the villagers hadn’t chased them away. And four elephants died in a similar way three years ago. It is just so sad,” Hilton was quoted as saying in Tokyo last week. She was in Tokyo to judge a beauty contest. (finish reading the article here)

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Blakk Frogg’s turn to speak, now… Why the HELL do people pay so much attention to this chick? Why couldn’t she use her ‘media pull’ to publicize another issue OTHER than drunken elephants on the rampage in India?

Granted Blakk Frogg feels VERY bad for the deceased elephants and all the people whose lives got mangled by the inebriated beasts, but get real, folks. No one outside of a 5 mile radius of where the drunken elephants went on a rampage gave a rat’s ass about this story until a socialite with a penchant for porn mentioned it in an interview.

So ask yourselves…. Did you REALLY care about the elephants or the people or did you hope to hear where you could find a new photo showing Paris’ highly publicized pubic region somewhere in that article when you read it?

We ALL know the answer to THAT question…..

No longer just the title of an awesome Motley Crue song from back in the 1980’s, folks! It also represents the content of one of Blakk Frogg’s recent additions to Americas Best MySpace Comments. Check out a few samples of what got added, OK?


Americas Best MySpace Girls Comments


Americas Best MySpace Girls Comments

And just to make life a bit more interesting, Blakk Frogg posted a blatantly sexist comment picture for MySpace certain to piss off….. your mom!


Americas Best MySpace Girls Comments

Yeah….. you really gotta’ admire Blakk Frogg’s ability to run the gamut when it comes to offensive material. Tune in next time when he posts pictures of your mom making sweet love to the garbage man’s boot!

Every once in a while at the office you will hear something out of context that will make you stop, turn around, and say, “Wait. What the HELL did you just say?”

This morning Blakk Frogg overheard something that made him say those very words.

A female co-worker said, and Blakk Frogg quotes directly, “Not gonna’ eat it, just shove it in there. Then tie up the legs….”

Some of you fine, upstanding citizens will know she referred to preparing a turkey, but the rest of you perverts and deviants thought the same thing as Blakk Frogg…. and that’s alright.


Simply Frogg and Americas Best
free jokes, comments and graphics

Looking for more sarcasm, humor and wit from the fingertips of Blakk Frogg? Da’ Americas Best Sarcasm/Humor Site can help you make better brownies…. or at least keep you from slitting your wrist before dinner.

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Sometimes a night out on the town geting drunk bores Blakk Frogg and when that happens he goes home. However, sometimes the nights get exciting as a result of a good….. CAT FIGHT!

Blakk Frogg Sarcasm and Free MySpace Comments
Free MySpace Comments on Americas Best
another blakk frogg production!

Yeah….. calling someone else a pussy, even if true, can result in unwanted hospitalization if the other person knows how to fight better than you, has more friends that like to fight, or possesses a weapon.

And that, dear friends, shall serve as Blakk Frogg’s words of wisdom for the day.

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The next time you think someone has stopped paying attention to your conversation, just reach out and pinch their nipple. Scientists have proven that this method will guarantee their attention gets focused back on you within a matter of moments.

Scientists have also proven that hand-eye coordination of the person who gets pinched improves drastically…. and you may get slapped clear into next week. But hey… That’s the price you pay for wanting all that attention.


Americas Best MySpace Animal Comments

Now for those of you not yet familiar with Americas Best MySpace Comments, prepare to have your nipples pinched!

For years Blakk Frogg has struggled with the fact that millions of unlucky, or just plain slow, frogs lose their legs because some yuppie or dork trying to impress their girlfriend orders them as an appetizer at a French restaurant.  To make matters worse, recently Blakk Frogg has heard rumors that Chinese all-you-can-shove-down-your-throat buffets have started offering them as well.  “The horror….. The HORror…” (reference: dying words of Marlon Brando in Apocalypse Now)

Picture millions of crippled, legless amphibians drifting around society with no one to look up to, no one to admire…. No WONDER their suicide rate has topped that of radical terrorists in the past few years!

Those days, however, have come to an end.  Thanks to a special grant from an anonymous donor who lives at 147 East 15th Street in Fairbanks, Alaska, crippled frogs worldwide can cheer on their favorite fellow legless amphibian in the Crippled Frog Olympics!  See below, please:


Sarcastic MySpace Comments

Oh sure, these races lack the excitement of NASCAR or Formula 1 Racing but the little guys have heart, lots and lots of heart.  Just no legs.

Why do so many people have have such a hard time finding suitable companions?  Why can’t the right mate find them?  These two questions have plagued Blakk Frogg for a very long time…. until now.

Apparently, some morons in the Department of Transportation decided to put signs up around town and, well, you’ll understand WHY everyone has so much trouble finding happiness.  See below:


Get Free Sarcastic MySpace Comments Here

Now that we have the problem figured out, all we have to do is figure out HOW to get all 67,000,000 of these signs down.


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About This Site


First of all, you will like this site because it has lots of sarcasm, plenty of humor, and a healthy dose of everything your dear mommy warned you not touch when taking a shower at the local athletic club.


  • admin: How can people not like this photo? Seriously. These girls have WONDERFUL personalities that just leap out of their shirts, er, eyes. Yes. Blakk Fr
  • admin: In other news, the children ingested so much of the drug that it took their parents a solid two weeks to catch the little bastards and beat their behi
  • Intimate Touch Tuesday | MySpace Comments & Jokes: [...] you survived the horror called Monday and showed back up to face… Tuesday. Good for you! As a reward for your devotion and effort, [...]