Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

Stop staring at your sister’s droopy butt and pay attention! Below you will find the most popular pics on MySpaceSarcasm.Com for March 2010. Now go get me a beer, you lazy freak!

cut-n-paste the code to use the image on blogs, profiles, comments.. and your mom’s forehead!
<a href="http://myspacesarcasm.com" style="text-decoration: none;"><img src="http://myspacesarcasm.com/myspace-motivational-comments/4/pics_motivational-20-to-life.jpg" border="1" alt="MySpace Sarcasm"><br /><strong>Visit MySpace Sarcasm if…</strong></a><br /><em>you like peanut butter between your toes</em>

cut-n-paste the code to use the image on blogs, profiles, comments.. and your mom’s forehead!
<a href="http://myspacesarcasm.com" style="text-decoration: none;"><img src="http://myspacesarcasm.com/myspace-motivational-comments/6/pics_motivational-domestic-violence.jpg" border="1" alt="MySpace Sarcasm"><br /><strong>Visit MySpace Sarcasm if…</strong></a><br /><em>you like peanut butter between your toes</em>

cut-n-paste the code to use the image on blogs, profiles, comments.. and your mom’s forehead!
<a href="http://myspacesarcasm.com" style="text-decoration: none;"><img src="http://myspacesarcasm.com/myspace-motivational-comments/2/pics_motivation-jiu-jitsu.jpg" border="1" alt="MySpace Sarcasm"><br /><strong>Visit MySpace Sarcasm if…</strong></a><br /><em>you like peanut butter between your toes</em>

cut-n-paste the code to use the image on blogs, profiles, comments.. and your mom’s forehead!
<a href="http://myspacesarcasm.com" style="text-decoration: none;"><img src="http://myspacesarcasm.com/myspace-animated-comments/17/pics_animated-stormtrooper-doing-her-from-behind.gif" border="1" alt="MySpace Sarcasm"><br /><strong>Visit MySpace Sarcasm if…</strong></a><br /><em>you like peanut butter between your toes</em>

cut-n-paste the code to use the image on blogs, profiles, comments.. and your mom’s forehead!
<a href="http://myspacesarcasm.com" style="text-decoration: none;"><img src="http://myspacesarcasm.com/myspace-motivational-comments/5/pics_motivational-bling-hairy-whales.jpg" border="1" alt="MySpace Sarcasm"><br /><strong>Visit MySpace Sarcasm if…</strong></a><br /><em>you like peanut butter between your toes</em>

Stop staring at your sister’s droopy butt and pay attention! Below you will find the most popular pics on MySpaceSarcasm.Com at a time when gerbils mated and accidentally created moose dung. Now go get us some beer, you lazy freaks!

cut-n-paste the code to use the image on blogs, profiles, comments.. and your mom’s forehead!
<a href="http://myspacesarcasm.com" style="text-decoration: none;"><img src="http://myspacesarcasm.com/myspace-motivational-comments/4/pics_motivational-20-to-life.jpg" border="1" alt="MySpace Sarcasm"><br /><strong>Visit MySpace Sarcasm if…</strong></a><br /><em>you like peanut butter between your toes</em>

cut-n-paste the code to use the image on blogs, profiles, comments.. and your mom’s forehead!
<a href="http://myspacesarcasm.com" style="text-decoration: none;"><img src="http://myspacesarcasm.com/myspace-motivational-comments/6/pics_motivational-domestic-violence.jpg" border="1" alt="MySpace Sarcasm"><br /><strong>Visit MySpace Sarcasm if…</strong></a><br /><em>you like peanut butter between your toes</em>

cut-n-paste the code to use the image on blogs, profiles, comments.. and your mom’s forehead!
<a href="http://myspacesarcasm.com" style="text-decoration: none;"><img src="http://myspacesarcasm.com/myspace-motivational-comments/2/pics_motivation-jiu-jitsu.jpg" border="1" alt="MySpace Sarcasm"><br /><strong>Visit MySpace Sarcasm if…</strong></a><br /><em>you like peanut butter between your toes</em>

cut-n-paste the code to use the image on blogs, profiles, comments.. and your mom’s forehead!
<a href="http://myspacesarcasm.com" style="text-decoration: none;"><img src="http://myspacesarcasm.com/myspace-animated-comments/17/pics_animated-stormtrooper-doing-her-from-behind.gif" border="1" alt="MySpace Sarcasm"><br /><strong>Visit MySpace Sarcasm if…</strong></a><br /><em>you like peanut butter between your toes</em>

cut-n-paste the code to use the image on blogs, profiles, comments.. and your mom’s forehead!
<a href="http://myspacesarcasm.com" style="text-decoration: none;"><img src="http://myspacesarcasm.com/myspace-motivational-comments/5/pics_motivational-bling-hairy-whales.jpg" border="1" alt="MySpace Sarcasm"><br /><strong>Visit MySpace Sarcasm if…</strong></a><br /><em>you like peanut butter between your toes</em>

To celebrate the day when a lot of people injure themselves while puking up green beer, Jameson’s Irish Whiskey, and whatever foods they managed to scarf down between raucous verses of songs they sing only when wasted, or as we like to call it, shit hammered on St. Patrick’s Day, we will not post a list of jokes involving drinking:

• New Mixed Drink for Her Man
• Average Miles per Gallon for Beer Drinking Americans
• The Alcoholic Alphabet
• Old Lady Joins a Biker Gang
• Why Parents and Grandparents Drink
• I Spat in This Beer
• Martini and the Shirt Pocket
• Drunk Guy Waiting on the Corner

Americas Best MySpace Drinking Comments

Americas Best MySpace Drinking Comments

Americas Best MySpace Drinking Comments

Americas Best MySpace Drinking Comments

We figured this posting really and truly needed to get written on today, March 17th, because a lot of you boneheads will go out tonight, get wasted on Irish Car Bombs and green beer, and drive your cars into mailboxes, trees, guardrails, etc. on the way home — or to the next pub.

Let this next news story serve as a warning to you: Don’t be a Botos!

Drunken Neb. man who missed hearing gets prison

Associated Press – March 16, 2010 2:15 PM ET

PAPILLION, Neb. (AP) – A 30-year-old Bellevue man who showed up too drunk last week for his drunken-driving sentencing has been given a year in prison.

Judge Jeffrey Funke of Sarpy County District Court said Tuesday that Jason Botos (BOH-tahs) was a danger to society and should be behind bars. It was Botos’ second DUI conviction.

Last Thursday, Botos arrived at the Papillion courthouse so drunk that he couldn’t attend the scheduled sentencing. Botos had pleaded guilty to misdemeanor drunken driving in a September 2009 collision with five other vehicles.

Deputies arrested Botos in the parking lot on a warrant from the judge, who on Tuesday gave Botos 90 days more in county jail for missing his sentencing on Thursday. ( source )

Scary, ain’t it? That guy caused an accident involving 5 cars ago as part of the events that resulted in his second DUI conviction… and could not manage to sober up enough nearly 6 months later to at least walk into the courthouse under his own power and lie to the Judge about how he felt bad for for what he did and had cleaned up his act.

So getting back to the point of this message, have a designated driver or at least lay off on a few rounds of drinks tonight and… Don’t be a Botos!

Time for Some Fun Drinking-Related Photos!

Americas Best MySpace Drinking Comments

Americas Best MySpace Drinking Comments

Americas Best MySpace Drinking Comments

Americas Best MySpace Drinking Comments

Americas Best MySpace Drinking Comments

Stay tuned today because we’ve got more drinking and drunken photos in store as the day goes on… unless we get too drunk too early at the computer and pass out in our chair. 😛

A woman and her boyfriend are out having a few drinks. While they’re sitting there having a good time together, she starts talking about this really great new drink. The more she talks about it, the more excited she gets, and starts trying to talk her boyfriend into having one. After a while he gives in and lets her order the drink for him.

The bartender brings the drink and puts the following tems on the bar: A salt shaker, a shot of Baileys, and a shot of lime juice. The boyfriend looks at the items quizzically and the woman explains.

“First you put a bit of the salt on your tongue, next you drink the shot of Baileys and hold it in your mouth, and finally you drink the lime juice.”

So, the boyfriend, trying to go along and please her, goes for it.

He puts the salt on his tongue… salty but OK. He drinks the shot of Baileys… smooth, rich, cool, very pleasant. He thinks… this is OK. Finally he picks up the lime juice and drinks it.

In one second the sharp lime taste hits… At two seconds the Baileys curdles. At three seconds the salty, curdled taste & mucous-like consistency hits. At four seconds it feels as if he has a mouth full of nasty snot.

This triggers his gag reflex, but being manly, and not wanting to disappoint his girlfriend, he swallows the now foul tasting drink. When he finally chokes it down he turns to his girlfriend, and says, “Jesus, what do you call that drink?”

She smiles widely at him and says, “Blow Job Revenge.”

Simply Frogg and Americas Best MySpace Comments
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A recent study found the average American walks about 900 miles year.

Another study found Americans drink, on average, 22 gallons of beer a year.

That means, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon.

Blakk Frogg does his part to keep the American MPG Rating as high as possible.

Are you doing YOUR part?

Americas Best MySpace Attitude Comments

Blakk Frogg received a version of the ‘alcoholic alphabet’ in an email earlier today and found it a little too…. bland. Therefore he added a few things quickly and re-posted it here for your reading pleasure. Enjoy!

A – Alcohol: The key to surviving college, office holiday parties, weddings/funerals of relatives on the other side of your family and to some extent family reunions

B – Beer: Considered the most disgusting alcohol of all by many, but great for chugging and admit it, folks: the taste DOES grow on you after your first funnel

C – Class: What you’re supposed to get up and go to after a Thursday night party and also the thing you no longer have once the fifth shot of Jose Cuervo kicks in

Americas Best MySpace Drinking Comments

D – Dancing: A favorite pasttime of almost every drunk; usually looks pathetic and involves excessive spin moves, twirls, arm flailing and erratic head jerking motions

E – Emergency: The keg has run dry and you have no one over 21 in your drinking party OR you live in a state where they do not sell alcohol on Sundays

F – Fucked Up: Signified by leaning over a toilet or small shrub puking your guts out and crying to the Heavens to make the world stop rotating so damned fast

G – Games: Anything that involves cards, dice, chugging beers and making fun of other people because they happen to puke… before you do

Americas Best MySpace Drinking Comments

H – Hangover: Reminds you of how great last night was, how much you drank last night, and why you have only a handful of loose change left in your pocket despite having cashed your paycheck yesterday afternoon

I – Idiot: The guy that spilled his beer on you and everyone else at the party and tried to wash his hands in the fish tank

J – Jail: Where you’ll end up after trying to use a fake ID that expired two years ago or stagger home through the back parking lot of the local police station

K – Kissing: What you’ll do to anything that moves after 15 beers… including the floor if not careful

L – Lord: Person you beg to get you out of every situation involving alcohol and the Person you ask not to let you hook up with anything TOO ugly after drinking five shots of Jager

M – Money: That which you no longer have due to too much partying and paying your friends not to tell anyone about sasquatch you hooked up last Friday night

N – Not Again!: What you scream when you wake up beside someone you don’t know, hope you didn’t sleep with, and hope to God you can avoid waking up while sneaking out of his or house/apartment/room

Americas Best MySpace Drinking Comments

O – Ouch: What you say while falling on your ass when you’re trying to walk home OR what you say when a friend announces he/she will go home with a hideous companion

P – Pee: What you have to do every five minutes while you’re drinking beer and also the thing that bonds and unites all females at the party and causes them to take group field trips to the rest room all the time

Q – Quilt: What you puked on last night in bed and have to clean in the morning… because you hooked up with a lard ass whose also drunken ass didn’t get out of the way so you could make it to the bathroom in time. Stupid lard ass shoulda’ moved

R – Reform: What you promise God you will do while you’re puking in the toilet or inthe back of your friend’s new car because… the window didn’t go down in time. Stupid window

Americas Best MySpace Drinking Comments

S – Sex: What you TRIED to do with that person you met last night while you were drunk… but passed out face down in her panties (or his boxers) instead

T – Ten: The number of beers it takes ME to realize there are only two beers left in the 12-pack and that I need to go to the store ASAP

U – Underage: Most of the drinking population at college bars

V – Vodka: The mother of all alcohols because it mixes with pretty much ANYthing and allows inexperienced drinkers to get drunk in less than an hour

Americas Best MySpace Drinking Comments

W – Worm: The part of Tequila that reminds you of Biology class tomorrow

X – X-Ray: How they can see into your belly before they force a chalk milkshake down your throat and pump your stomach

Y – Yourself: The one who drinks WAY TOO MUCH every weekend and STILL denies that you have ever done all those horrible things that your friend so kindly recorded with his new cellphone camera… Stupid cellphone cameras

Americas Best MySpace Drinking Comments

Z – Zoned out: What you will be after drinking for 12 hours straight and not eating

—————-

Looking for Alcohol and Drinking Related MySpace Comments?

Originally we thought about using this article to praise bacon for its wonderfully greasy nature. A trait which makes it sooooo damn good at 3:18 in the morning after a long night of drinking. No one can deny the soothing effect bacon has on a person’s stomach at that hour and under those conditions.

Something came to our attention recently, though, that has caused us to scrap the original bacon praising agenda. We will, instead, go with the alcohol theme and talk briefly about bacon flavored vodka.

Some people love it, some people hate it. We have not yet tried it. For some reason our love for beer just won’t allow us to take the bacon vodka plunge. That does not, however, mean we won’t talk about it like we know all about it. To not speak when we know nothing about a topic would make us… Boring.

No one likes Boring and Boring does not get invited to all the cool parties where hot ladies wearing bacon bikinis serve endless bacon appetizers, neverending bacon entrees, an eternity’s worth of bacon desserts… and now, apparently, they also serve a free flowing river of bacon flavored drinks.

What kind of drinks? Feast your bacon (and alcohol) loving eyes on these!

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A little old lady had always wanted to join a local biker club.

One day she goes up and knocks on the club’s door. A big, hairy, bearded biker guy with tattoos all over his arms answers the door.

She proclaims, “I want to join your club.”

The biker was amused, but says she needs to meet certain biker requirements in order to join. The biker asks, “Do you have a motorcycle?”

The little old lady replies, “Yep… my bike’s parked over there”, and points to a Harley in the driveway.

The biker asks, “Do you drink?”

The little old lady replies “Yep… drink like a fish. I’ll drink any man in your club under the table.”

The biker asks, “Do you smoke?”

The little old lady replies, “Yep… smoke like a chimney. At least 4 packs a day and a couple of cigars in the evening when I’m shooting pool.”

The biker is very impressed and asks, “Last Question. Have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?”

The little old lady thinks for a minute and says, “Nope… but I was swung around by the nipples once.”

Americas Best MySpace Comments

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