Blakk Frogg received a version of the ‘alcoholic alphabet’ in an email earlier today and found it a little too…. bland. Therefore he added a few things quickly and re-posted it here for your reading pleasure. Enjoy!
A – Alcohol: The key to surviving college, office holiday parties, weddings/funerals of relatives on the other side of your family and to some extent family reunions
B – Beer: Considered the most disgusting alcohol of all by many, but great for chugging and admit it, folks: the taste DOES grow on you after your first funnel
C – Class: What you’re supposed to get up and go to after a Thursday night party and also the thing you no longer have once the fifth shot of Jose Cuervo kicks in
D – Dancing: A favorite pasttime of almost every drunk; usually looks pathetic and involves excessive spin moves, twirls, arm flailing and erratic head jerking motions
E – Emergency: The keg has run dry and you have no one over 21 in your drinking party OR you live in a state where they do not sell alcohol on Sundays
F – Fucked Up: Signified by leaning over a toilet or small shrub puking your guts out and crying to the Heavens to make the world stop rotating so damned fast
G – Games: Anything that involves cards, dice, chugging beers and making fun of other people because they happen to puke… before you do
H – Hangover: Reminds you of how great last night was, how much you drank last night, and why you have only a handful of loose change left in your pocket despite having cashed your paycheck yesterday afternoon
I – Idiot: The guy that spilled his beer on you and everyone else at the party and tried to wash his hands in the fish tank
J – Jail: Where you’ll end up after trying to use a fake ID that expired two years ago or stagger home through the back parking lot of the local police station
K – Kissing: What you’ll do to anything that moves after 15 beers… including the floor if not careful
L – Lord: Person you beg to get you out of every situation involving alcohol and the Person you ask not to let you hook up with anything TOO ugly after drinking five shots of Jager and 6 Irish Car Bombs in under an hour
M – Money: That which you no longer have due to too much partying and paying your friends not to tell anyone about sasquatch you hooked up last Friday night
N – Not Again!: What you scream when you wake up beside someone you don’t know, hope you didn’t sleep with, and hope to God you can avoid waking up while sneaking out of his or house/apartment/room
O – Ouch: What you say while falling on your ass when you’re trying to walk home OR what you say when a friend announces he/she will go home with a hideous companion
P – Pee: What you have to do every five minutes while you’re drinking beer and also the thing that bonds and unites all females at the party and causes them to take group field trips to the rest room all the time
Q – Quilt: What you puked on last night in bed and have to clean in the morning… because you hooked up with a lard ass whose also drunken ass didn’t get out of the way so you could make it to the bathroom in time. Stupid lard ass shoulda’ moved
R – Reform: What you promise God you will do while you’re puking in the toilet or inthe back of your friend’s new car because… the window didn’t go down in time. Stupid window
S – Sex: What you TRIED to do with that person you met last night while you were drunk… but passed out face down in her panties (or his boxers) instead
T – Ten: The number of beers it takes ME to realize there are only two beers left in the 12-pack and that I need to go to the store ASAP
U – Underage: Most of the drinking population at college bars
V – Vodka: The mother of all alcohols because it mixes with pretty much ANYthing and allows inexperienced drinkers to get drunk in less than an hour
W – Worm: The part of Tequila that reminds you of Biology class tomorrow
X – X-Ray: How they can see into your belly before they force a chalk milkshake down your throat and pump your stomach
Y – Yourself: The one who drinks WAY TOO MUCH every weekend and STILL denies that you have ever done all those horrible things that your friend so kindly recorded with his new cellphone camera… Stupid cellphone cameras
Z – Zoned out: What you will be after drinking for 12 hours straight and not eating
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