Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

Two priests are off to the showers late one night. They undress and step into the showers before they realize there is no soap. Father John says he has soap in his room and goes to get it, not bothering to dress. He grabs two bars of soap, one in each hand and heads back to the showers.

He is halfway down the hall when he sees three nuns heading his way. Having no place to hide, he stands against the wall and freezes like he’s a statue.

The nuns stop and comment on how life-like he looks. The first nun suddenly reaches out and pulls on his penis. Startled, he drops a bar of soap.

“Oh look,” says the first nun. “It’s a soap dispenser.”

To test her theory the second nun also pulls on his manhood. Sure enough, he drops the second bar of soap.

Amazed, the third nun decides to have a go. She pulls once, then twice and three times, but nothing happens. Frustrated, she gives several more tugs… then yells… “Holy Mary, Mother of God! It’s a HAND LOTION DISPENSER TOO!”

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Two gay guys take a walk through a zoo.

They come across the gorilla and notice that the male gorilla has a massive erection. The gay men are fascinated by this.

One of the men just can’t bear it any longer and he reaches into the cage to touch it.

The gorilla grabs him, drags him into the cage and mates with him for six hours, non-stop, while the zoo attendants helplessly stand by…. When he’s done, the gorilla throws the man out of the cage.

An ambulance is called and the man is taken away to the hospital.

A few days later, his friend visits him in the hospital and asks, “Are you hurt?”

“AM I HURT?” he shouts, “Wouldn’t you be? He hasn’t called…. He hasn’t written….”

Americas Best MySpace Comments

Just when Blakk Frogg thought he had seen it all, out comes something else to make him ask, “What the Fuck… and WHY?” once more. Introducing, for your entertainment in the bathroom, the Fish and Flush Combination Toilet-Aquarium. What better way to amuse yourself, while relieving your bladder, than to get into a staring contest with a fish, right? This applies, of course, only to women who straddle the toilet seat backwards while urinating and men who actually AIM when they drain they pee.

(not recommended for guys w/ a complex about their weiner size)

OK, since Blakk Frogg tends to have an overly active imagination, just picture, if you will, the embarrassment a guy would suffer if he unzipped, whipped it out, and all the fish started “laughing” at his manhood. Little bubbles of air popping from their puckered mouthes as the guy struggles hard to squeeze the last remaining drops out of his inadequate drainage tool. Fins flapping around wildly causing them to bang into the glass and careen off the rocks as the unthinkable happens…. The guy, in such a hurry to leave this clearly uncomfortable situation, makes a bad, bad timing error and ZZZZIIIIIP. OUCH! Yep. For those who saw Something About Mary, this will make total sense: “FRANKS AND BEANS! FRANKS AND BEANS!”

At this point all the fish suffer massive cardiacs from excessive laughter and begin to float belly up. But wait, it gets worse. The owner of the house barges into the bathroom because he heard the other guy screaming bloody murder. Getting one’s meat stick clipped by a zipper brings out the opera singer in any man. After assessing his friend’s condition, and laughing, he turns his attention to the toilet (fish tank) and notices that all of his fish have died. At that point he screams, “You bastard! I hate you! My mom gave me those fish! Get out of my house!”

OK, Blakk Frogg has had enough fun with this topic. Hope all of you have enjoyed this literary distraction and for all you guys out there, remember to (fully) unwhip before you zip… especially if you notice fish staring at you.

Use these adult and sexual MySpace comments to add spice to your profiles, blogs, and your friends’ comment areas. Blakk Frogg adds new stuff all the time to Americas Best MySpace Comments so you’ll never run out of new things to post!

Americas Best Adult & Sexual MySpace Comments

Americas Best Adult & Sexual MySpace Comments

Americas Best Adult & Sexual MySpace Comments

Americas Best Adult & Sexual MySpace Comments

Americas Best Adult & Sexual MySpace Comments

There you have them… Five of teh most popular sexual and adult myspace comments for the month of December 2007 on Americas-Best.Com.

Blakk Frogg will post more shortly, so stay tuned!

Announcement:  Blakk Frogg just created a new Adult MySpace Comments web site featuring ONLY adult myspace comments that he collects from sick people like. . . .you!  😉

This is important and worth the time to read! Warning! Be careful if you eat at “RED LOBSTER RESTAURANTS”.

A young woman was having a meal at the restaurant and suddenly began to experience intense chest pains. Nothing her friends or the restaurant personnel did would relieve the pain.

“911” was called and an ambulance was sent and the woman was transported to a nearby hospital where doctors removed the women’s blouse.

As soon as this was done, emergency room personnel were able to properly diagnose the cause of the pain:

Sarcastic MySpace Comments

A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave 15 gallons of milk.

When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons, so he knocked on the door to clarify the point

The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, “I found your note to leave 15 gallons of milk, did you mean 1.5 gallons?”

The blonde said, “I want 15 gallons. I’m going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath.”

The milkman asked, “Do you want it Pasteurized?”

The blonde replied, “No, just up to my boobs, I can splash it in my eyes.”

Sarcastic MySpace Comments

A Bulgarian woman driver escaped relatively unscathed from a head-on pile-up with another vehicle when her 40DD breast implants absorbed most of the impact, Ananova reports.

Elena Marinova, 24, of Sofia, pranged her motor in the northern city of Ruse. Both cars were written off and the other driver seriously injured, local paper Standart reported.

A police expert explained: “[The implants] worked just like airbags – protecting the victim’s ribs and vital organs from damage.” He did, however, add: “They are not as safe as the real thing because they exploded, which airbags are not supposed to do.”

Americas Best MySpace Girls Comments

8 things you’ll never hear a man say:

8) Here honey, you use the remote.

7) You know, I’d like to see her again, but her breasts are just too big.

6) Ooh, Antonio Banderas AND Brad Pitt? That’s one movie I gotta see!

5) While I’m up, can I get you anything?

4) Sex isn’t that important, sometimes I just want to be held.

3) Aww, forget Monday night football, let’s watch Melrose Place.

2) Hey, let me hold your purse while you try that on.

1) We never talk anymore.

8 things you’ll never hear a woman say:

8) What do you mean today’s our anniversary?

7) Can we not talk to each other tonight? I’d rather just watch TV.

6) Ohh, this diamond is way to big!

5) Can our relationship get a little more physical? I’m tired of being ‘just friends’

4) Honey, does this outfit make my butt look too small?

3) Aww, don’t stop for directions, I’m sure you’ll be able to figure out how to get there.

2) I don’t care if it’s on sale, 300 dollars is way to much for a designer dress.

1) Hey, pull my finger!

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We apologize for any inconvenience, and you may flog our grandmothers if it will make you feel better.

A woman rubbed a bottle and out popped a genie.

The amazed woman asked if she got three wishes. The genie said, “Nope, sorry, three-wish genies are a storybook myth. I’m a one-wish genie. So…what’ll it be?”

The woman did not hesitate. She said, “I want peace in the Middle East . See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other and I want all the Arabs to love the Jews and Americans and vice-versa. It will bring about world peace and harmony.”

The genie looked at the map and exclaimed, “Lady, be reasonable. These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I’m out of shape after being in a bottle for five hundred years…I’m good but not THAT good! I don’t think it can be done. Make another wish and please be reasonable.”

The woman thought for a minute and said, “Well, I’ve never been able find the right man. You know – one that’s considerate and fun, likes to cook and help with the house cleaning, is great in bed, and gets along with my family, doesn’t watch sports all the time, and is faithful. That is what I wish for… a good man.”

The genie let out a sigh and said, “Let me see the fucking map again.”

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