Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

Tom had been in the liquor business for 25 years. Finally sick of the stress he quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible. He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it’s total peace and quiet. After six months or so, of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door.

He opens it and sees a huge, bearded man standing there.

“Name’s Lars, your neighbor from forty miles up the road. Having a Christmas party Friday night… Thought you might like to come. About 5:00.”

“Great”, says Tom. “After six months out here I’m ready to meet some local folks. Thank you.”

As Lars is leaving, he stops. “Gotta warn you…… There’s gonna be some drinkin’.”

“Not a problem” says Tom. “After 25 years in the business, I can drink with the best of ’em.”

Again, the big man starts to leave and stops. “More ‘n’ likely gonna be some fightin’ too.”

“Well, I get along with people, I’ll be all right. I’ll be there, Thanks again.”

“More’n likely be some wild sex, too,” says Lars.

“Now that’s really not a problem,” says Tom, warming to the idea. “I’ve been all alone for six months! I’ll definitely be there. By the way, what should I wear?”

“Don’t much matter. Just gonna’ be the two of us.”

A guy and a girl meet at a bar. They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl’s place. A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands.

He then takes off his trousers and washes his hands again. The girl has been watching him and says, “You must be a dentist.”

The guy, surprised, says “Yes… how did you figure that out?”

“Easy,” she replied. “You keep washing your hands.”

One thing led to another and they make love. After they’re done, the girl says, “You must be a good dentist.”

The guy, now with a boosted ego says, “Sure, I’m a good dentist, how did you figure that out?”

The girl nonchalantly replied, “I Didn’t feel a thing.”

A woman is driving at night on a narrow country road. At the same time a man is driving quite fast in the opposite direction on that same road.

When they narrowly pass each other at high speed, the woman rolls down her window and loudly shouts – HORSE! Immediately the man shouts back – B**CH! The man laughs. He is proud to have reacted so quickly to the shouting woman and takes the next turn in the road, maintaining his high rate of speed.

Then, as suddenly and unexpectedly as the woman had screamed at him….

Another Funny Pic From Americas Best

Moral of the story: Men never listen and when they do, they don’t understand one word a woman says.

The cry arose for MORE adult myspace comments, so. . . Blakk Frogg had to respond!

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

So there you have it, folks. . . another installment of politically incorrect picture comments from Americas Best MySpace Comments. For those who don’t already know, that site has a sister site called Sarcastic MySpace and Blakk Frogg added some new animated picture comments to it the other day.

Now get out there and BE somebody!

– frogg

(sounds a lot like George Carlin… if you ask Blakk Frogg)

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead.
Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.
Do not walk beside me either.
Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins
with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.

3. It’s always darkest before dawn.
So if you’re going to steal your neighbor’s newspaper,
that’s the time to do it.

4. Don’t be irreplaceable.
If you can’t be replaced,
you can’t be promoted.

5. Always remember that you’re unique.
Just like everyone else.

6. Never test the depth of the water
with both feet.

7. If you think nobody cares if you’re alive,
try missing a couple of car payments.

More Zen Sarcasm    |    More Zen Sarcasm

John the farmer was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers (hens), called “pullets”, and ten roosters, whose job it was to fertilize the eggs (for you city folks).

The farmer kept records and any rooster that didn’t perform, went into the soup pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot of his time, so he bought a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone so John could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing.

Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells.

The farmer’s favorite rooster was old G. W. Butch, and a very fine specimen he was, too. But on this particular morning John noticed old Butch’s bell hadn’t rung at all! John went to investigate.

The other roosters were chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing. The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.

But to Farmer John’s amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn’t ring. He’d sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.

John was so proud of old Butch, he entered him in the Renfrew County Fair and he became an overnight sensation among the judges.

The result: The judges not only awarded old Butch the No Bell Piece Prize but they also awarded him the Pulletsurprise as well.

Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making: who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most highly coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populace and screwing them when they weren’t paying attention.

Simply Frogg and Americas Best
free jokes, comments and graphics

Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, got drafted by the Army.

On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair.

On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth.

On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap. The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years.

Simply Frogg and Americas Best
free myspace pics, comments & graphics

Two old ladies are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. One of the old ladies pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.

Maude: What in the hell is that?

Mabel: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn’t get wet.

Maude: Where did you get it?

Mabel: You can get them at any drugstore.

The next day, Maude hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.

The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand of condom she prefers.

“Doesn’t matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel.”

The pharmacist fainted.

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost fell down when he saw him. Murphy had never been seen in church in his life.

After Mass, the priest caught up with Murphy and said, “Murphy, I am so glad you decided to come to Mass. What made you come?”

Murphy said, “I got to be honest with you Father. A while back, I misplaced me hat, and I really, really love that hat. I know that McGlynn had a hat just like me hat, and I knew that McGlynn come to church every Sunday. I also knew that McGlynn had to take off his hat during Mass and figured he would leave it in the back of church. So, I was going to leave after Communion and steal McGlynn’s hat.”

The priest said, “Well, Murphy, I notice that you didn’t steal McGlynn’s hat. What changed your mind?”

Murphy said, “Well, after I heard your sermon on the 10 Commandments, I decided that I didn’t need to steal McGlynn’s hat.”

The priest gave Murphy a big smile and said; “After I talked about ‘Thou Shalt Not Steal’ you decided you would rather do without your hat than Burn in Hell, right ?”

Murphy shook his head and said, “No, Father, after you talked about ‘Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery,’ I remembered where I left me hat.”

Simply Frogg and Americas Best
free jokes, comments and graphics

I am passing this on to you because it definitely works, and we could all use a little more calmness in our lives.

By following simple advice heard on the Dr. Phil show, you too can find inner peace.

Dr Phil proclaimed, “The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started and have never finished.”

So, I looked around my house to see all the things I started and hadn’t finished, and before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Zinfandel, a bottle of Bailey’s Irish Cream, a bottle of Vodka, a package of Oreos, the remainder of my old Prozac prescription, the rest of the cheesecake, some Doritos and a box of chocolates.

Wow, you have no idea how freaking good I feel. Please pass this on to those whom you think might be in need of inner peace.

Simply Frogg and Americas Best
free myspace pics, comments & graphics