Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

What was the first thing Adam said to Eve?

“Stand back! I don’t know how big this thing gets!!”

Out on the golf course with his wife, the husband says, “Twenty years ago I had a brief affair. It meant nothing. I hope you can forgive me.”

His wife was hurt, but said, “Dearest, those days are long gone. What we have now is far more valuable. I forgive you.”

They embraced and kissed.

On the seventeenth tee, the husband was starting his back swing when the wife blurted out, “I’m sorry darling, and I’ve been so conscience-stricken since you told me, but since we’re being honest with each other, I have something to tell you also. Fifty-two years ago I had a sex change operation; I was a man before I met you. I hope you can forgive me.”

The husband froze at the top of his back swing, and then threw a fit! He slammed the driver into the ground, kicked the ball into the woods, stormed off the tee, pushed the golf cart over on its side, broke the rest of his clubs one by one, then started on hers.

He screamed and ranted, “You liar! You cheat! You despicable deceiver! How could you? I trusted you with all my heart and soul…and all these years you’ve been playing off the ladies tees!”

Some things are sacred.

As Blakk Frogg has figured out through countless failed attempts at things at various stages in his life, no one can accomplish a task without the right tool for the job.  Unfortunately, however, some fellas mistake their manhood as a tool for ANY job. . .

Take, for example, this dumb ass motherfrogger who thought his weiner would work as a muffler cleaner.

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

Yep. Some people really think WAAAAAY too highly of their private parts and try to use them in, well, inappropriate ways.

Blakk Frogg hopes someone starts the vehicle, he gets stuck in that oh-so-manly position, and dies from accidental inhalation(?) of carbon monoxide fumes through his weiner.

P.S. —-> At no time in the life of Blakk Frogg did he EVER think he’d see that shit — even on the Internet!

Looks like you survived the early part of the week without too much damage. Therefore Blakk Frogg felt you deserved a special sexy treat — like triplets!

Sexy Triplets Wish You Happy Hump Day

Now if you can just make it to the weekend in one piece you’ll be doing just fine. Why? ‘Cuz Blakk Frogg plans on posting a new Sex on Saturday this week!

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Another weekend has come and gone. Cases of beer, a bag of charcoal for the grill, and countless pieces of grilled meat have all gone away. Now we turn and face the most horrible of things any human ever encounters: a Monday.

How shall we get through this tragic, yet necessary, day? With humor, that’s how.

Sexy Cowgirl Not Happy With Monday

Hot Woman Wants to Make Monday Better

Stay tuned for the next installment of Adult MySpace Comments because, well, we said so.

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Four Catholic ladies are having coffee together, discussing how important their children are.

The first one tells her friends, “My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him “Father.”

The second Catholic woman chirps, “Well, my son is a bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, ‘Your Grace.'”

The third Catholic woman says smugly, “Well, not to put you down, but my son is a cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, people say ‘Your Eminence.'”

The fourth Catholic woman sips her coffee in silence. The first three women give her this subtle “Well…?”

She replies, “My son is a gorgeous, 6’2,” hard bodied, well hung, Male stripper. Whenever he walks into a room, women say, “My God…”

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for many years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband’s habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.

Every morning, post-fart, she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn’t stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor, as she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.

The years went by and he continued to rip them out! Then one Christmas morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the bits of the turkey which are not used – the neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts, you know “The Giblets” – and a malicious thought came to her.

She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts etc into the back of them.

Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.

About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter.

He said, “You were right. All these years you have warned me and I didn’t listen to you.”

“What do you mean?” asked his wife.

“Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened …… but by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and two fingers, I think I got most of them back in.”

Americas Best MySpace Toilet Comments