Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

Sarcastic MySpace Comments…… Your Mother, Too!

Have a nice day and don’t forget to check out the latest additions to SarcasticMySpace. Com.

– blakk frogg

All those who know me will say, “Beer! Blakk Frogg likes BEER!”

But there lies a deeper, darker secret about the REAL Blakk Frogg and what he likes at the bar. . .

Adult MySpace Comments… Not For Kids Anymore!

Now the first one of you who tells Blakk Frogg’s girlfriend about this deep, dark secret of his will get slapped in the mouth with a basket of moldy cheesesticks!

– blakk frogg

P.S. —–> Americas Best MySpace Comments just stole your virginity. 😛

1. Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests find that when women make love they produce amounts of the hormone estrogen, which makes hair shine and skin smooth.

2. Gentle, relaxed lovemaking reduces your chances of suffering dermatitis, skin rashes and blemishes. The sweat produced cleanses the pores and makes your skin glow.

3. Lovemaking can burn up those calories you piled on during that romantic dinner.

4. Sex is one of the safest sports you can take up. It stretches and tones up just about every muscle in the body. It’s more enjoyable than swimming 20 laps, and you don’t need special sneakers!

5. Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases endorphins into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with a feeling of well-being.

6. The more sex you have, the more you will be offered. The sexually active body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called pheromones. These subtle sex perfumes drive the opposite sex crazy!

7 . Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world. IT IS 10 TIMES MORE EFFECTIVE THAN VALIUM.

8. Kissing each day will keep the dentist away. Kissing encourages saliva to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the acid that causes decay, preventing plaque build-up.

9. Sex actually relieves headaches. A lovemaking session can release the tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain.

10. A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose. Sex is a natural antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever.

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

A jumbo jet is making its final approach to Tampa Airport. The pilot comes on the intercom, “This is your Captain. We’re on our final descent into Tampa. I want to thank you for flying with us today and hope you enjoy your stay in the Tampa Bay area”.

He forgets to switch off the intercom. Now the whole plane can hear his conversation from the cockpit. The copilot can be heard saying to the pilot, “So, Skip, whatcha got planned while we’re in Tampa?”

“Well,” says the skipper, “first I’m gonna’ check into the hotel, take a big crap…. Then I’m gonna’ take that new stewardess with the huge tits out for dinner…. I’m gonna wine and dine her, take her back to my room and give her a ride on the baloney pony all night long.”

Aghast and amused, everyone on the plane hears this and immediately begins looking up and down the aisle, trying to figure out who this new stewardess is that the pilot’s talking about.

Meanwhile, the new stewardess is seated at the very back of the plane. She is so embarrassed that she starts running toward the cockpit to turn the intercom off. Halfway down the aisle, she trips over an old lady’s bag and down she goes.

The old lady leans over and says: “No need to hurry, dear. He’s gotta’ land the plane and take a shit first.”

Americas Best MySpace Vehicles Comments

Dear friends:

The following photograph captures the absolute moment when a woman can determine that without a doubt. . . . Her man is gay.

Sarcastic MySpace Comments

If you have any further questions, call someone who cares ‘cuz Blakk Frogg won’t answer the phone!

– frogg

A priest and a rabbi were sitting next to each other on an airplane. After a while, the priest turned to the rabbi and asked, “Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?”

The rabbi responded, “Yes, that is still one of our beliefs.”

The priest then asked, “Have you ever eaten pork?”

To which the rabbi replied, “Yes, on one occasion I did succumb to temptation and tasted a ham sandwich.”

The priest nodded in understanding and went on with his reading.

A while later, the rabbi spoke up and asked the priest, “Father, is it still a requirement of your church that you remain celibate?”

The priest replied, “Yes, that is still very much a part of our faith.”

The rabbi then asked him, “Father, have you ever fallen to the temptations of the flesh?”

The priest replied, “Yes, rabbi, on one occasion I was weak and broke with my faith.”

The rabbi nodded understandingly and remained silent, thinking, for about five minutes.

Finally, the rabbi said, “Beats the shit out of a ham sandwich, doesn’t it?”

Americas Best MySpace Sarcastic Comments

Dear Tide:

I am writing to say what an excellent product you have! I’ve used it all of my married life, as my Mom always told me it was the best. Now that I am in my fifties I find it even better!

In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My inconsiderate and uncaring husband started to belittle me about how clumsy I was, and generally started becoming a pain in the neck. One thing led to another and somehow I ended up with his blood on my new white blouse!

I grabbed my bottle of Tide with bleach alternative, and to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out! In fact, the stains came out so well the detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests on my blouse were negative and then my attorney called and said that I was no longer considered a suspect in the disappearance of my husband.

What a relief! Going through menopause is bad enough without being a murder suspect! I thank you, once again, for having a great product.

Well, gotta go. Have to write to the Hefty bag people next!

Sincerely,

“Innocent” Emma

Americas Best MySpace Toilet Comments

Blakk Frogg loves a good romantic poem… but there ain’t a damn thing romantic about this one! Read at own risk!

Penis breath, a lover’s dread,
Is what you get when you give head.

Unpleasant as it tends to be,
Be grateful that he doesn’t pee.

It’s times like this, you wonder why,
You bothered reaching for his fly.

But it’s too late, can’t be a tease,
Accept the facts, get on your knees.

You know you’ve got a job to do,
So open wide and shove it through.

Lick the tip then take it all,
Don’t drag your teeth or he might bawl.

Slide up and down, use your tongue,
And feel the precum start to run….

So when the fuck’s he gonna cum?

Just when you can’t take anymore,
You hear your lover’s mighty roar.

And when he hits that real high note,
You feel it oozing down your throat.

Salty, fishy, sticky, stuff.
Okay, already… that’s enough.

Let’s switch you say, before you gag,
And what revenge… you’re on the rag.

Free Adult MySpace Comments

The boss of a Madison Avenue advertising agency called a spontaneous staff meeting in the middle of a particularly stressful week. (This is one pretty sharp boss!) When everyone gathered, the boss, who understood the benefits of having fun, told the burnt out staff the purpose of the meeting was to have a quick contest.

The theme: Viagra advertising slogans. The only rule was that they had to use past ad slogans, originally written for other products, that captured the essence of Viagra. Slight variations were acceptable.

About seven minutes later, they turned in their suggestions and created a Top Ten List. With all the laughter and camaraderie, the rest of the week went very well for everyone. The top ten were:

• 10. Viagra, Whaazzzz up!
• 9. Viagra, The quicker pecker upper.
• 8. Viagra, Like a rock!
• 7. Viagra, When it absolutely, positively has to be there overnight.
• 6. Viagra, Be all that you can be.
• 5. Viagra, Reach out and touch someone.
• 4. Viagra, Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.
• 3. Viagra, home of the whopper!
• 2. Viagra, We bring good things to Life!

And the unanimous number one slogan:

1. This is your winkie. This is your winkie on drugs.

Some girls come into this world with really large breasts. Studies have shown that men prefer a woman with large breasts over a flat-chested toothpick. Accordingly, the urge a woman has to get implants so she can win the heart of a narrow-minded man follows. As an example, check out this desperate asian chick who got conned into getting fake boobs from a really bad surgeon:

Sarcastic MySpace Comments

So ladies, if you want a man to love you, treat you right, and not sleep with your younger, much hotter sister, get breast implants like this asian girl, but get them from a reputable surgeonm and not from Joe’s House of Boobies.