Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

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“Oh, the humanity!” exclaimed the poor listless soul who opened this blog entry and saw…. THIS!

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Blakk Frogg figured that if HE had to endure this image so early in the damn morning, well, so should the rest of you.

As always, have a nice day…. and may this image haunt you for all your days!

– blakk frogg

p.s. —-> and don’t act like you won’t send that to all your ‘best friends’, either, ya’ filthy little animals!

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Why do so many people have have such a hard time finding suitable companions? Why can’t the right mate find them? These two questions have plagued Blakk Frogg for a very long time…. until now.

Apparently, some morons in the Department of Transportation decided to put signs up around town and, well, you’ll understand WHY everyone has so much trouble finding happiness. See below:

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Now that we have the problem figured out, all we have to do is figure out HOW to get all 67,000,203 of these signs down.

Nothing ruins a nice evening at home (or in the backyard) with the pussy more than having to wade through excess hair. So, in the interest of appeasing the masses and keeping some similance of order in the world, Blakk Frogg has decided that he will take the initiative and insist that the pussy get shaved — today!

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Many of you thought this post would feature the anatomy of a woman getting trimmed, and for that Blakk Frogg really does NOT apologize. Get your minds out of the gutter! You’re in his parking spot!

– blakk frogg

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BLONDE LOGIC

Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking and one blonde says to the other, “Which do you think is farther away? Florida or the moon?”

The other blonde turns and says “Helloooooooooo, can you SEE Florida?”

CAR TROUBLE

A blonde pushes her shiny red BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died.

After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says, What’s the story?”

He replies, “Just crap in the motor”

She asks, “How often do I have to do that?”

SPEEDING TICKET

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.

She replied in a huff, “I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!”

RIVER WALK

There’s this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. “Yoo-hoo!” she shouts, “How can I get to the other side?”

The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, You ARE on the other side.”

KNITTING

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway

Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, “PULL OVER!”

“NO!” the blonde yelled back, “IT’S A SCARF!”

BLONDE ON THE SUN

A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, “We were the first in space!” The American said, “We were the first on the moon!”

The Blonde said, “So what? We’re going to be the first on the sun!”

The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. “You can’t land on the sun, you idiot! You’ll burn up!” said the Russian.

To which the Blonde replied, “We’re not stupid, you know. We’re going at night!”

IN A VACUUM

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, “If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?”

She thought for a time and then asked, “Is it on or off?”

DOGS

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.

Her friend said, “Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?”

“HELLLOOOOOOO…..,” answered the blond. “They’re watch dogs!”

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If you ever get the Sudden Urge to run around naked,

You should sniff some Windex first.

It’ll keep you from streaking.

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Feel free to share this post with others. Make them suffer as much as you just did.

We won’t bore you with another review of Market Bacon from our local butcher shop. Instead we’ll get reight down to business and show you what a few pieces from the latest batch looked like after we cooked them.

No matter how many times we see pictures of bacon, we still get that ‘oh how I want to eat you’ feeling in the deepest, most bacon-craving parts of our souls.