Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

Blakk Frogg loves a good romantic poem… but there ain’t a damn thing romantic about this one! Read at own risk!

Penis breath, a lover’s dread,
Is what you get when you give head.

Unpleasant as it tends to be,
Be grateful that he doesn’t pee.

It’s times like this, you wonder why,
You bothered reaching for his fly.

But it’s too late, can’t be a tease,
Accept the facts, get on your knees.

You know you’ve got a job to do,
So open wide and shove it through.

Lick the tip then take it all,
Don’t drag your teeth or he might bawl.

Slide up and down, use your tongue,
And feel the precum start to run….

So when the fuck’s he gonna cum?

Just when you can’t take anymore,
You hear your lover’s mighty roar.

And when he hits that real high note,
You feel it oozing down your throat.

Salty, fishy, sticky, stuff.
Okay, already… that’s enough.

Let’s switch you say, before you gag,
And what revenge… you’re on the rag.

Free Adult MySpace Comments

The boss of a Madison Avenue advertising agency called a spontaneous staff meeting in the middle of a particularly stressful week. (This is one pretty sharp boss!) When everyone gathered, the boss, who understood the benefits of having fun, told the burnt out staff the purpose of the meeting was to have a quick contest.

The theme: Viagra advertising slogans. The only rule was that they had to use past ad slogans, originally written for other products, that captured the essence of Viagra. Slight variations were acceptable.

About seven minutes later, they turned in their suggestions and created a Top Ten List. With all the laughter and camaraderie, the rest of the week went very well for everyone. The top ten were:

• 10. Viagra, Whaazzzz up!
• 9. Viagra, The quicker pecker upper.
• 8. Viagra, Like a rock!
• 7. Viagra, When it absolutely, positively has to be there overnight.
• 6. Viagra, Be all that you can be.
• 5. Viagra, Reach out and touch someone.
• 4. Viagra, Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.
• 3. Viagra, home of the whopper!
• 2. Viagra, We bring good things to Life!

And the unanimous number one slogan:

1. This is your winkie. This is your winkie on drugs.

Some girls come into this world with really large breasts. Studies have shown that men prefer a woman with large breasts over a flat-chested toothpick. Accordingly, the urge a woman has to get implants so she can win the heart of a narrow-minded man follows. As an example, check out this desperate asian chick who got conned into getting fake boobs from a really bad surgeon:

Sarcastic MySpace Comments

So ladies, if you want a man to love you, treat you right, and not sleep with your younger, much hotter sister, get breast implants like this asian girl, but get them from a reputable surgeonm and not from Joe’s House of Boobies.

Far be it from Blakk Frogg to not drop by and deliver a dose of classic intoxication on a Friday. So please give a warm, wet welcome to. . . . The Web’s Most Famous Drunk Girl!

Sarcastic MySpace Comments…… Your Mother, Too!

Have a nice day and don’t forget to check out the latest additions to SarcasticMySpace. Com.

– blakk frogg

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven’t I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I’ll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I’m a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what’s your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I’d die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I’d probably die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I’d put u and i together
Woman: Really, I’d put f and u together

As ususal we have waded through about half a billion emails asking us to PLEASE post the most popular postings on Da’ Blakk Frogg Joke Blog. . . and since we FEEL like it, we will do just that. Only THIS time we will break them down into two of the more popular categories: Redneck and MySpace Comments for your convenience.

Redneck. . .

• Best Redneck MySpace Comment
• Redneck Pickup Lines
• Letter From Marine at Bootcamp
• Hillbilly Dumb Wives
• You Might be a Redneck

MySpace Comments. . .

• Popular Adult MySpace Comments
• Sexual/Adult MySpace Comments
• Popular Sexual/Adult MySpace Comments
• More Adult MySpace Comments
• Sexual/Adult MySpace Comments 2

So there you have it, folks. . . more proff that people spend quite a lot of time searching for things like Sarcastic, Redneck and Adult MySpace Comments.

Now have a redneck & dirty day, dang it!

Over the years many different varieties of body piercings, anatomical mutilations and exhibitions of (literal) human art have passed before the eyes of Blakk Frogg and recently a new alteration of the human body surfaced: Breast Implants for a Tattoo.

Sarcastic MySpace Comments Says, “Bigger Breasts, Please!”

Sarcastic MySpace Comments Says, “Bigger Breasts, Please!”

Sarcastic MySpace Comments Says, “Bigger Breasts, Please!”

Sarcastic MySpace Comments Says, “Bigger Breasts, Please!”

I hope this breast implant blog entry has given hope to all of you who thought you had to go through life with a flat chested tattoo on your body.

God says to Adam, “I have some good news and some bad news. What do you want to hear first?”

Adam says, “Tell me the good news first.”

God says, “I’m going to give you a penis and a brain. You’ll derive from these great pleasure and great intellect.”

Adam replies, “Wonderful! But what’s the bad news?”

God says, “I’m only going to give you enough blood supply to work one at a time.”

Many members of the American public deem it improper to spank children, as I have learned while whooping my son’s misbehaving butt in the Wal-Mart parking lot. Therefore I have had to come up with another method to get my point across when my son throws his little tantrums and has one of his ‘moments.’

One method that I have found particularly effective involves taking my child for a car ride and talking to them in a calm, rational manner.

I suppose the vibration from the car soothes their nerves, or perhaps the time away from any distractions such as TV, Video Games, Computer, IPod, etc. helps.

I cannot say for sure what it is, really, but it works. My son calms down and immediately stops misbehaving after our little car ride.

One more tip: Make sure you make eye contact often during the car ride so your child knows you mean business.

Here’s a snapshot of our last ride together. Gotta’ love these new cellphone cameras, right? So useful and convenient. . .

Sarcastic MySpace Comments Says, “Up Yours!”

This method works well with grandchildren, nieces, and nephews as well.

She was in the kitchen doing the boiled eggs for breakfast. He walks in and she says, “You’ve got to make love to me this very moment”.

He, thinking it’s his lucky day, makes love to her over the kitchen table.

Afterwards he says, “What was that all about?”

She says, “the egg timer’s broken.”