Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

Posts Tagged ‘too much bacon

23 Sep, 2009

Bacon on a Breakfast Creation

Posted by: Blakk Frogg In: Humor|Sarcastic

OK, so bacon normally goes quite well as part of a breakfast dish so you probably wonder why we bothered to post an entry about bacon as part of a breakfast creation.

Simple: Because it has bacon on it! Duh!

Spontaneous Bacon Creation for Breakfast

Looks weird, yes we know, but damn it tasted good! Each serving contained a hashbrown, a super tasty high quality strip of meaty bacon, melted pepperjack cheese, and a fried egg.

Now picture, if you will, all this wonderful breakfast food piping hot and on your plate… just waiting for you to pop the yolk of the egg, carve off a healthy chunk which includes every ingredient, and stuff it in your face.

Verdict: Bacon has once again made us happy. Sometimes it really pays to… cook with bacon.

If you ever find yourself traveling past exit 145 on US 26 in Orangeburg, South Carolina around lunchtime and you have a hankering for a triple decker sandwich (Turkey, Ham, Bacon, Swiss Cheese, Lettuce, and Tomato on Nine Grain Toast) that will knock your silly ass into a food coma… take a really quick detour off of US 26 to Four Moons Restaurant.

Just LOOK at this wonderful monstrosity of lunchtime goodness — complete w/ healthy strips of Applewood Bacon, of course!

Four Moons Triple Decker Sandwich

How did we find this place? None of your business… but we highly suggest you venture out there for lunch or dinner one day. You will leave fat, dumb, happy and questioning whether or not you just had a kick ass meal in Las Vegas, New York City, Chicago, Boston or… Orangeburg, South Carolina?!?!?

Four Moons’ Menus speak for themselves! Oh, and a 4 Diamond Rating from AAA says a lot, too.

31 Aug, 2009

Review of Hormel Black Label Bacon

Posted by: Blakk Frogg In: Humor|Sarcastic

Welcome to another MoreBaconPlease.Com Bacon Review. This time we spotted a name brand bacon (Hormel Black Label) at a good price at the grocery store and just HAD to pick some up. Actually we picked up two packages, but shhhhh…. Don’t tell anyone.

We had long wanted to try the Hormel Black Label Bacon because it looked so good in its package but the steep prices stores charged always kept it from winding up in our shopping cart.

So anyways, we hopped home in a hurry to begin the bacon sampling ‘cuz our bacon instincts told us we would find this particular sampling quite enjoyable. We could hardly wait to rip off that plastic and view the Hormel Black Label Bacon in all its meaty glory!

Wow. Just LOOK at the nice, solid chunks of pink/red meaty streaks in this stuff. We definitely liked what we saw so far and thought, “Wow. This bacon will look GREAT in a pan!”

So naturally, like good little bacon lovers, we broke out the trusty frying pan and lined it with strips of our recently purchased meat strips. Seemed only right to us, ya’ know? Have Bacon, Must Cook!

Oh geez. In our haste to get to the end of this blog posting (where we stuff our faces with bacon) we forgot to mention a really cool feature of the Hormel Black Label Bacon: Its smell!

The bacon had a wonderful smoky aroma to it right out of the package. Now don’t get it twisted. We don’t mean the bacon smacked us in the scent catchers with a cheap, chemical smoke flavoring odor. OUR bacon smelled delightful. We picked up hints of hickory and a bit of molasses or something slightly sweet.

Now back to the bacon cooking… which we ought to have paid more attention to the first round. Oops. Apparently beer drinking and making fun of each other distracted us and the first batch came out a little, um, crispy.

Ha ha. Still tasted GREAT, though! We didn’t overcook it TOO badly and we paid a lot more attention the second batch we cooked.

This naturally brings us to the issue of ‘bacon grease generated after cooking 8 strips’. Some poeple don’t care about this statistic, but we do.

Why? Aside from disliking the feeling we get when hot bacon grease pops out of the pan repeatedly and onto our skin, we figure that more grease left in the pan after cooking means less material to put in our mouths.

So without further ado, please give a warm welcome to the grease left after cooking TEN pieces of Hormel Black Label Bacon. Why ten this time? Simple: We had room in the pan for one extra strip each round of cooking. Duh!

Yep. The Hormel Black Label Bacon cooked up deliciously and left a very respectably low amount of grease in the pan after ten pieces.

Conclusions:

We will buy this bacon again as long as the sale price stays in effect. It had a great meaty appearance in its uncooked state and gave off what we considered a ‘good’ and ‘authentic’ smoky aroma before cooking.

While cooking it didn’t generate a tone of bacon grease and yes, of course the whole house smelled like bacon during and after the cooking process. We never can get enough of that smell, either. Go figure.

Taste and texture of the Hormel Black Label socred quite highly with us. Good bacon meat flavor mixed with just the right amount of saltiness. We had plenty to chew on but the chewing never became tedious.

So in the end, we chose to give Hormel Black Label Bacon a score of 4 strips (out of five). Why only four? We think the product rocks, yes, but with its normal pricing as high as we have previously seen it, well, you figure it out.

Cheap bastards? Us? Yes! Paying too much for ANYthing, even bacon, will NEVER make sense to us.

Now can anyone loan us a few bucks so we can get a few slabs of bacon? We’ll gladly pay you next Friday for some bacon today… :)

18 Aug, 2009

Bacon Review: Black Pepper Bacon

Posted by: Blakk Frogg In: Humor|Sarcastic

We can already hear some of you saying, “Ewwww…. Yuck! Frying the black pepper would make the bacon taste NASTY!”

In response to your uneducated and quite premature response to the idea of Black Pepper Bacon we say, “Good! That means more Black Pepper Bacon for us!”

Appearance:

Take a look at the dark and lovely meatiness of the bacon. Given the fact that we picked up this from a large volume retailer of grocery products and every other type of item imaginable you can understand why we found ourselves quite impressed with the appearance of Black Pepper Bacon.

Black Pepper Bacon Raw

We seriously expected to find a nasty looking, slime covered wad of sub-standard bacon with black pepper clumps haphazardly added… but nope! We got a pound of gorgeous, meaty bacon covered with a very nice coating of black pepper and other seasonings.

Take a closer look at the Black Pepper Bacon and TRY to tell us you don’t feel drool building up in your mouth! We dare you!

Black Pepper Bacon Raw

Cooking the Bacon:

Given that we had thick slices to cook, instinct told us to keep a close watch on the heat so as not to wind up with crispy outsides and uncooked middles. Now THAT, good people, would make even some die-hard bacon lovers say, “Yuck!” — but not us. Lol. We’d still eat it.

Black Pepper Bacon in the Frying Pan

At first the black pepper bacon laid pretty still and didn’t have a lot of ‘curling up’ going on. that caught our attention and caused us to wonder if perhaps we ought to turn the heat up, but we stayed strong in our belief that this bacon would require gentler heating due to its thickness and refrained from cranking up the heat.

Soon we started to hear the beloved sound of bacon cooking in our pan and even though we saw very little curling taking place, the rich, meaty smell of bacon cooking which filled the air provided us with more than enough proof that we made the right decision when it came to the cooking temperature.

Black Pepper Bacon Cooking

Above you see what four strips of the Black Pepper Bacon looked like right before we flipped them over. Beautiful site, right? The piece on the far right came from the end of the slab so it had a great deal more pepper on one side than all the other pieces — except, of course, for the piece on the OTHER end of the slab.

All About the Bacon Grease:

After our encounter with Fresh Market Bacon a few weeks ago we have started to pay closer attention to the volume of grease produced by (8) eight strips of bacon.

Why did we opt to use eight strips and not ten, twenty or even just one strip as the metering point? Simple: We noticed that after cooking eight strips of Fresh Market Bacon we had a serious need to pour out the bacon grease before we could cook more bacon in the pan. From that point forward we decided to take note of the grease level after cooking eight strips of bacon.

Bacon Grease Produced by Cooking Eight Strips of Black Pepper Bacon

Not bad! Not bad at all! After cooking eight strips of Black Pepper Bacon we did not feel obligated to pour out the grease before cooking more bacon.

Final Appearances:

When it come to food some people base 99% of their opinion on its appearance. We feel that 100% of those same people would LOVE the way this bacon looked once we laid it out on a plate.

Fully Cooked Strips of Black Pepper Bacon

Look at those tasty meat strips laying their in all their glory. Needless to say we moved on to the taste test pretty rapidly.

Eating the Black Pepper Bacon:

Wow. The immediate taste did not smack us in face right away with the spiciness of its black pepper seasoning. Instead, we had time to start chewing for a bit before it snuck up on us and provided a very pleasant taste to accompany the savory bacon meat.

The Black Pepper Bacon did not get overly crispy and its meat retained a very enjoyable texture. We also noticed that the fatty portions did not fill our mouthes or coat our lips with slimy grease the way Slab Bacon did.

Conclusions:

This bacon will definitely become a regular purchase in our home. It looked wonderful right out of the package, cooked up without creating a gallon of grease, looked great in the pan, had a superb appearance after cooking, and its peppered exterior provided a delicious peppery taste that didn’t overwhelm the flavor of the bacon itself.

For those not able to keep up with all that, we can sum our experience with Black Pepper Bacon up in three words: We loved it!

We give “black pepper bacon” a final rating of 5 strips (out of 5). A perfect score!

Bacon Weaving?

Apparently the beers we drank during the cooking process resulted in some post-cooking insanity. We weaved together a bunch of black pepper bacon strips… for no apparent reason. Ha ha. Check it out!

Fully Cooked Strips of Black Pepper Bacon

Huh? What? you wanna’ get closer to the weaved black pepper bacon? No problem!

Fully Cooked Strips of Black Pepper Bacon

13 Aug, 2009

Chicken Wrapped Bacon?

Posted by: Blakk Frogg In: Humor|Sarcastic

The name “Chicken Wrapped Bacon” sounded like something we would create in our own kitchen when we had two things available to us: chicken and bacon. So therefore, we believed we knew what to expect:


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  • a super fat marinated chicken breast stuffed with bacon or;
  • a cornish game hen with a few pounds of bacon rammed up its butt or;
  • a live chicken running around with strips of pork, beef or turkey products clogging its rear blow hole

The first two options we could handle but the third, no way. Thankfully we just threw that third option in for a bit of humor. Kinda’ like the reason why we threw a few silly pictures into this post.


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So anyways, we learned of this new dish from a friend of a friend of a friend who knows a guy that once played poker with the guy who runs the restaurant where they serve this dish. The restaurant, Four Moons in Orangeburg, SC, has a reputation for having some really cool, really tasty and really unique offerings on its menus.

To quote off the Four Moons Dinner Menu, “Chicken Wrapped Bacon” consists of…

Pan Roasted Chicken Breast Wrapped Around Slow Roasted Pork Belly, with Yukon Potato Butter Sauce, Crispy Parsnips, and Spinach with Gruyere.

Wow. Not quite anything from the list of three possibilities we thought of, but damn that sounds good. We can practically taste the juices from the pork belly oozing through the chicken meat as we write this.

Hopefully someone will get us a picture of this dish ‘cuz… well, we want one!

12 Aug, 2009

Bacon Flavored Asparagus Medley

Posted by: Blakk Frogg In: Humor|Sarcastic

Many of our readers have asked if we exist solely on a diet of meat and/or bacon. Nope. We eat vegetables, too. Think of it this way: Do Buffalo Wings taste the same w/o carrots and celery as side dishes? No.

So without further ado, please welcome a bacon concoction which uses a bag of frozen asparagus vegetable medley, two slices of bacon, half of a fresh jalapeno, and a touch of minced garlic. Double wrap it in aluminum foil and place it on the top rack of your grill or in a place on the grill where it won’t get too much direct flame. Cook until done and serve. Now EAT.

Bacon Seasoned Vegetable Medley

11 Aug, 2009

Deep… Fried… Bacon… Seriously.

Posted by: Blakk Frogg In: Humor|Sarcastic

We have known about the practice of battering up a slice of bacon and deep frying it for some time now. We have also chosen to ignore it — until now. For some reason we decided to look it up today and see if we could find a good picture of it.

Lucky for you we have become masters in the art of hunting bacon images. Why? Because otherwise you might have gotten stuck w/ a blurred picture taken on a cellphone by a drunken monkey instead of this super cool(?) video from YouTube.

No offense to all the drunken monkeys w/ cellphones out there.

Our Opinion of Deep Fried Bacon:

Although we find all bacon inherently good, none of us here at MoreBaconPlease.Com really understand why perfectly good bacon needs to get tossed in batter and deep fried. We have found that most things battered and fried tend to taste pretty much like the batter and lose the original flavor of whatever got drowned in batter.

Now keep in mind we have not yet had the pleasure(?) of trying this, um, delicacy… so don’t take our words on this popular(?) deep fried meat treat as Bacon Gospel.

11 Aug, 2009

Bacon Wrapped Jumbo Chicken Franks

Posted by: Blakk Frogg In: Humor|Sarcastic

While some people look down on non-beef hot dogs, some people, like us for example, have a budget for groceries and cannot always buy Nathan’s All Beef or Hebrew National franks. Therefore we look to the right or left of those hot dog brands and sometimes discover things a lot of people may overlook… such as Jumbo Chicken Franks.

Wrap those meaty bastards in regular or thick sliced bacon and throw them on the grill for a real treat!

Bacon Wrapped Jumbo Chicken Franks Ready for the Grill

10 Aug, 2009

Bacon Review: Fresh ‘Market Bacon’

Posted by: Blakk Frogg In: Humor|Sarcastic

At first we had some confusion over the term ‘market bacon’ because we picked this More Bacon Please blog posting’s selection up from a local butcher shop. It seemed more logical to us that market bacon ought to come from a supermarket and after a heated exchange amongst ourselves on the topic, we decided to say, “Ah Hell… Let’s just cook the f’ing bacon and see what happens.

With the nomenclature issue behind us, we carefully unwrapped our parcel of fresh cut market bacon and laid it out on the counter. We had some doubts right off the bat. It looked… very fatty and also it seemed as though they had sliced it extremely thin.

Raw Market Bacon From Local Butcher Shop

We had some difficulty separating the slices due to their thin nature, but we quickly got our slices of market bacon into the pan to see how they would handle the heat. We opted for a smaller pan since all our larger ones had, um, well, not gotten cleaned before we started our experiment with the market bacon.

No one ever SAID we would get a prize from Better Homes and Gardens for housekeeping, but we also don’t live like TOTAL slobs…. usually. But never mind that. Let’s get back to the bacon!

Market Bacon Cooking

Within seconds of heat hitting the market bacon strips we heard popping and sizzling. Though we adore the sound of bacon cooking, that much popping and sizzling from bacon so early in the cooking process would certainly mean our bacon strips would generate a TON of bacon grease.

Yep. After only EIGHT strips of market bacon had gone into the pan we had to perform an Emergency De-Greasing of the pan AND wipe down the stove. Despite using a modest heat level we still had a massive number of bacon grease splatter marks all over the stove, counter and floor next to the stove.

Now let us remind you that the following quanitity of bacon grease came from ONLY eight strips of bacon…

Market Bacon Made a Lot of Bacon Grease

Some people would have given up hope at this point and written the concept of market bacon off completely because of the grease given off. Those people don’t really love bacon and clearly ought to hand over all their supply of bacon to the real bacon lovers in this world — namely us.

Ther strips held their long slender shapes quite well during the cooking process and gave off what we called a ‘traditional’ bacon smell. Their color developed into a nice shade of brown and when placed on a plate and blotted gently with a paper towel they looked pretty darn tasty.

Market Bacon Cooked and Ready to Eat

Time to put appearance, smell and grease production aside… and give market bacon its most important test: We call it the “Stuffing a Piece into One’s Face Test” and we don’t mind signing up as guinea pigs for this one. Consider it our sacrifice for the sake of other bacon lovers worldwide.

  • Crunchy. Varied cooking times did not seem to change this characteristic too much. Not too crunchy, as each piece still seemed to have some meatiness to it that required chewing.
  • Salty. This type of bacon definitely had some serious sodium. It didn’t parch us to the point where we felt the need to shotgun beers immediately after each piece, but we definitely noticed the salt.
  • Not as greasy as we initially expected. With all those gallons (not literally) of bacon grease we siphoned off with a sump pump (somewhat exaggerated) we expected the bacon to have a slimy, soggy, greasy finish — but it didn’t. Totally cool with OUR tastebuds.

Conclusion:

Not at all what we expected to get from a butcher shop and we decided that the term ‘market’ in market bacon’s name referred to its remarkable similarity in appearance, taste, texture, and ability to produce copious amounts of grease in a very short period of time. Definitely a great bacon to choose if entertaining a large group for breakfast or brunch and you want to serve a bacon that pretty much everyone will like because it DOES so closely resemble most common bacons from the supermarket.

We would like to note that we do not recommend market bacon for a BLT or other bacon-oriented dish where meatiness of the bacon would make or break the project.

In the end we give “market bacon” a final rating of 3 strips (out of 5).

10 Aug, 2009

Twenty Seconds of Sizzle

Posted by: Blakk Frogg In: Humor|Sarcastic

Yep. Sometimes a man has to go w/o the things he loves most in life. Sometimes, bacon makes that list. EGADS!

But anyways, for all out there who have gone w/o bacon today, this sizzle’s for you!

If the video does not play w/in a few seconds, you can See The Video by Clicking Here


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