Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

OK, so maybe we slacked off a bit recently with the posts… Deal with it!

At least we don’t drive around having sex like 25% of he population in Russia.

MOSCOW, Russia — Knowing that a high percentage of the drivers around you have been drinking vodka has always made driving in Russia a, shall we say, bit of a challenge, Voyeurwebbers. Now, it is even more of a challenge.

A poll released by KRC Research and Goodyear revealed that about 25 percent of Russians have had sex while driving…

Well… Vodka makes Blakk Frogg and all his amphibious bastard posse do many, many bad things. So this latest revelation(?) does not surprise us. At all.

We need lawyers… by the way. And more vodka. Lol.

Here… Have some skin. We hear it does a body good.

Celebrity Glamour Girls
Hot Girls For MySpace!

Celebrity Glamour Girls
Hot Girls For MySpace!

Celebrity Glamour Girls
Hot Girls For MySpace!

Celebrity Glamour Girls
Hot Girls For MySpace!

Celebrity Glamour Girls
Hot Girls For MySpace!

A golfer looking for his ball in the woods when he comes up to another man hugging a tree with his ear firmly against the tree. Seeing this he inquires, “Just out of curiosity, what the hell are you doing?”

“I’m listening to the music of the tree.”

You gotta be kiddin’ me.”

“No, would you like to give it a try?”

Well, OK… So he wraps his arms around the tree and presses his ear up against the tree. With this, the other guy slaps a set of handcuffs on him on the other side of the tree, takes his wallet, jewelry, car keys, then strips him naked and leaves.

Two hours later another nature lover strolls by, sees this guy handcuffed to the tree, stark naked, and asks, “What the hell happened to you?”

So he tells the guy the whole story about how he got there.

While he was telling his story, the other guy shakes his head in sympathy, walks around behind him, kisses him behind the ear and says, “This just isn’t gonna be your day.”

Americas Best MySpace Girls Comments

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Oh man… the guy shoulda’ stayed home and read the stuff Blakk Frogg posts on Americas Best.

Amy, a blonde city girl, marries a Colorado rancher.

One morning, on his way out to check on the cows, the rancher says to Amy, “The insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows today. I drove a nail into the 2 by 4 just above the cow’s stall in the barn. You show him where the cow is when he gets here, OK?” So then the rancher leaves for the fields.

After a while, the artificial insemination man arrives and knocks on the front door. Amy takes him down to the barn. They walk along the row of cows and when she sees the nail, she tells him, “This is the one… right here.”

Terribly impressed by what he seemed to think just might be another ditzy blonde, the man asks, “Tell me lady, how did you know this is the cow to be bred?”

“That’s simple. By the nail over its stall,” Amy explains very confidently.

Then the man asks, “What’s the nail for?”

She turns and walks away, and with complete confidence, says, “I guess it’s to hang your pants on.”

The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex . This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone and you both have sex until you are blue in the face.

The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex . This is when you have been with your partner for a short time and you are so horny you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen.

The 3rd kind of sex is called: Bedroom Sex . This is when you have been with your partner for a long time. Your sex has gotten routine and you usually have sex only in your bedroom.

The 4th kind of sex is called: Hallway Sex . This is when you have been with your partner for too long. When you pass each other in the hallway you both say “screw you”.

The 5th kind of sex is called: Courtroom Sex . This is when you cannot stand your partner anymore. Then they take you to Court and screw you in front of everyone.

The 6th kind is called Religious Sex, which means you get Nun in the morning, Nun in the afternoon and Nun at night.

…….

OOPS. Don’t forget the 7th kind of sex – Social Security Sex . You get a little each month…. But not enough to live on.

A guy and a girl meet at a bar. They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl’s place. A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands.

He then takes off his trousers and washes his hands again. The girl has been watching him and says, “You must be a dentist.”

The guy, surprised, says “Yes… how did you figure that out?”

“Easy,” she replied. “You keep washing your hands.”

One thing led to another and they make love. After they’re done, the girl says, “You must be a good dentist.”

The guy, now with a boosted ego says, “Sure, I’m a good dentist, how did you figure that out?”

The girl nonchalantly replied, “I Didn’t feel a thing.”