Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

I was a very happy person. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me …. it was her beautiful younger sister.

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was braless. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got a view of her private parts. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.

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One day the little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn’t overcome.

She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. Well, I was in total shock, and couldn’t say a word. She said, “I’m going upstairs to my bedroom, and! if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me.”

I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled off her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.

Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!

With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, “We are very happy that you have passed our little test…..we couldn’t ask for better man for our daughter. Welcome to our family!!!”

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And the moral of this story is:

Always keep the condoms in your car.

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“Congratulations my boy!” said the groom’s uncle. “I’m sure you’ll look back and remember today as the happiest day of your life.”

“But I’m not getting married until tomorrow,” protested his nephew.

“I know,” replied the uncle. “That’s exactly what I mean.”

———————

Blakk Frogg loves posting Sarcastic MySpace Comments.

Five Rules for a Man to Have a Happy Life:

1. It’s important to have a woman who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans and has a job.

2. It’s important to have a woman who can make you laugh.

3. It’s important to have a woman who you can trust and who doesn’t lie to you.

4. It’s important to have a woman who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.

5. It’s very, very important that these four women do not know each other.

If you want someone who will eat whatever you put in front of him and never says its not quite as good as his mother made it…

Then buy a dog.

If you want someone always willing to go out, at any hour, for as long and wherever you want …..

Then buy a dog.

If you want someone who will never touch the remote, doesn’t care about football, and can sit next to you as you watch romantic movies ……

Then buy a dog.

If you want someone who is content to get up on your bed just to warm your feet and whom you can push off if he snores …

Then buy a dog.

If you want someone who never criticizes what you do, doesn’t care if you are pretty or ugly, fat or thin, young or old, who acts as if every word you say is especially worthy of listening to, and loves you unconditionally, perpetually …..

Then buy a dog.

But, on the other hand, if you want someone who will never come when you call, ignores you totally when you come home, leaves hair all over the place, walks all over you, runs around all night and only comes home to eat and sleep, and acts as if your entire existence is solely to ensure his happiness…..

Wait for it….

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then buy a cat!

Once upon a time a gal left her guy for a handsome prince.

Within 6 months, the guy had money in the bank, room for his clothes in the closet, could set down his razor in the bathroom without having to move a hair dryer or cosmetics, hired a maid to do his cleaning and laundry, ate great meals at the local restaurants, and was free to go to a bar and watch football whenever he wanted. His sex life? Don’t get me started.

The End

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl, “Will you marry me?”

The girl said “No” and she lived happily ever after and went shopping, drank martinis with friends, always had a clean house, never had to cook, had a closet full of shoes and handbags, stayed skinny, and was never farted on.

The End

A teacher asked her class, “What do you want out of life?”

A little girl raised her hand and said, “All I want out of life is four little animals.”

The teacher asked, “Really, and what four little animals would that be?”

The little girl answered, “A Mink on my back, a Jaguar in the garage, a Tiger in the bed and, of course, I’ll need a Jackass to pay for it all.”

A woman’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.

One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears…

“You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times.”

“When I got fired, you were there to support me.”

“When my business failed, you were there.”

“When I got shot, you were by my side.”

“When we lost the house, you stayed right here.”

“When my health started failing, you were still by my side…”

“You know what?”

“What my dear?” she gently asked, smiling and leaning closer as her heart filled with warmth.

“You’re bad luck, get the f$#k away from me.”

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