03 Jun, 2009
Open Letter to the Litterbug in the Black Maxima
Posted by: admin In: Blakk Frogg Speaks|Crime|Humor|Sarcastic
I’d like to extend a giant ‘thank you’ to the bonehead in the black Maxima on I26 this morning near Cayce, SC around 7:25 AM. From the exterior of your vehicle it seemed as though you really do take pride in the appearance and cleanliness of your car. Therefore it should not have surprised me one bit that you just HAD to toss an empty plastic cup out your window as you sped merrily down the highway. The presence of that no longer useful cup certainly would have ruined the pristine interior of your oh-so-special vehicle.
In hindsight, though… Silly me, thinking you might actually CARE right now that your careless action caused the startled driver of a minivan to swerve into my lane when the cup took a sharply angled bounce off the highway and struck their windshield unexpectedly.
Thankfully as soon I saw your punk ass litter like that I reduced my speed as soon as I saw your pudgy, fat fingers drop the plastic cup out the window so the minivan came over into my lane, yes, but I had already gotten back a safe distance from the scene of the crime.
Therefore no collision took place. No thanks to you, though, my idiotic litterbug friend.
Oh, how I wish I had gotten that Maxima’s license plate number. In the midst of all my cursing I neglected to speed up and tailgate the bastard so that I could jot down the plate number hidden under that dark, smoke-colored license plate cover. Someday I hope to have one of those so that I, too, can drop whatever I want out of my windows, nearly cause accidents, get away with it ‘cuz no one can read my license plate or see in my ultra cool tinted windows.
And finally, to you, dark colored Maxima driver, I say, “Go to Hell, ya’ rotten bastard! You coulda’ killed someone this morning. Prick!”
I didn’t stutter, did I?
