Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

Posts Tagged ‘montana joke

22 Mar, 2012

Montana Golf Rules About Bears

Posted by: admin In: Funny Jokes|Humor|Jokes|Sarcastic

The Montana State Department of Fish and Wildlife is advising golfers to take extra precautions and be on the alert for bears while playing on Gallatin, Helena, and Lewis and Clark National Forests Golf Courses.

They advise golfers to wear noise-producing devices such as little bells on their clothing to alert, but not to startle the bears unexpectedly.

They also advise you to carry pepper spray in the case of an encounter with a bear. It is also a good idea to watch for signs of bear activity.

Golfers should be able to recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear droppings on the golf course.

Black bear droppings are smaller and contain berries and possibly squirrel fur.

Grizzly bear droppings have bells, golf-gloves and sunglasses in them and smell like pepper spray.

www.AmericasBestMySpace.com -- free comment pictures for myspace!
Visit Americas-Best.Com MySpace Comments Blog for…

Funny/Sexy/Sarcastic/Stupid MySpace Comments

A Montana cowboy was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.

The driver, a young man in an Armani suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, “If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?”

The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, “Sure, Why not?”

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, “You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves.”

“That’s right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves,” says the cowboy.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then the cowboy says to the young man, “Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give back my calf?”

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, “Okay, why not?”

You’re a Congressman for the U.S. Government,” says the cowboy. “Wow! That’s correct,” says the yuppie. “But how did you guess that?”

“No guessing required,” answered the cowboy. “You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don’t know a thing about cows… this is a herd of sheep…… Now give me back my dog.”


Americas Best MySpace Animal Comments


Share This on

Is Your Water Safe?


Water Testing Blog

Kill the Zombies!




About This Site


First of all, you will like this site because it has lots of sarcasm, plenty of humor, and a healthy dose of everything your dear mommy warned you not touch when taking a shower at the local athletic club.


  • admin: How can people not like this photo? Seriously. These girls have WONDERFUL personalities that just leap out of their shirts, er, eyes. Yes. Blakk Fr
  • admin: In other news, the children ingested so much of the drug that it took their parents a solid two weeks to catch the little bastards and beat their behi
  • Intimate Touch Tuesday | MySpace Comments & Jokes: [...] you survived the horror called Monday and showed back up to face… Tuesday. Good for you! As a reward for your devotion and effort, [...]