Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

During their silver anniversary, a wife reminded her husband: Do you remember when you proposed to me, I was so overwhelmed that I didn’t talk for an hour?”

The hubby replied: “Yes, honey, that was the happiest hour of my life.”

Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady And after the wedding, he laid down the following Rules:

“I’ll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want and I don’t expect any hassle from you. I Expect a great dinner to be on table unless I tell you that I won’t be home for dinner. I’ll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don’t you give me a hard time about It. Those are my rules. Any comments?”

His new bride said, “No, that’s fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven O’clock every night … Whether you’re here or not.”

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Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary!

The husband yells, “When you die, I’m getting you a Headstone that reads: “Here Lies My Wife – Cold As Ever “

Yeah? She replies. “When you die, I’m getting you a Headstone that reads: “Here Lies My Husband Stiff At Last”

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A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years.

They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe-box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.

For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover. In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoe-box and took it to his wife’s bedside.

She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box.

When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money totaling $95,000. He asked her about the contents.

“When we were to be married,” she said, “my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll.”

The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only two precious dolls were in the box. She had only been a angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with happiness. “Honey,” he said, “that explains the doll, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from? “

“Oh,” she said, “That’s the money I made from selling the dolls.”

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A man left work one Friday afternoon. But, being payday, instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire paycheck.

When He finally appeared at home, Sunday Night, he was confronted by a very angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions.

Finally his wife stopped the nagging and simply said to him. “How would you like it if you didn’t see me for two or three days?” To which he replied. “That would be fine with me.”

Monday went by and he didn’t see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results. Come Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.

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When it comes to marriage, a lot of men ask, “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?”

Well, women have caught up, it seems, and they have come up with a slogan of their own to use because according to a recent survey, around 80% of single women prefer to be single….

Curious as to why they feel that way?

Because women realize it’s not worth buying the entire pig… just to get a little sausage.