Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

As punishment for the gratuitous ‘scantily clad ladies’ postings he will deny having any knowledge of, Blakk Frogg now must post jokes that poke fun at….. men.

1. Men are like ….Laxatives …… They irritate the crap out of you.

2. Men are like ..Bananas …… The older they get, the less firm they are.

3. Men are like ……Weather ….. Nothing can be done to change them.

4. Men are like …..Blenders …. You need one, but you’re not quite sure why.

5. Men are like …..Chocolate Bars … Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.

6. Men are like ….Commercials …… You can’t believe a word they say.

7. Men are like ..Department Stores …. Their clothes are always 1/2 off.

8. Men are like …….Government Bonds ….. They take soooooooo long to mature.

9. Men are like ……Mascara ….. They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

10. Men are like .Popcorn .. They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

11. Men are like . Snowstorms … You never know when they’re coming, how many inches you’ll get or how long it will last.

12. Men are like …….Lava Lamps … Fun to look at, but not very bright.

13. Men are like Parking Spots ……. All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

“According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful.”

–Robert De Niro

He didn’t like the casserole

And he didn’t like my cake.

He said my biscuits were too hard…

Not like his mother used to make.

I didn’t perk the coffee right

He didn’t like the stew,

I didn’t mend his socks

The way his mother used to do.

I pondered for an answer, I was looking for a clue.

Then I turned around and smacked the shit out of him…

Like his mother used to do.

Americas Best MySpace Girls Comments

And despite the overwhelmingly abusive tone of this posting…

Americas Best MySpace Sarcastic Comments

1. We know what you’re doing when you put your hand in your pocket.

2. If you’re funny, we will sleep with you.

3. If, while driving, you check yourself out in the rearview more that you check us out, we will never get into another car with you.

4. When you see a woman chewing gum, she is counting. Next time you see a woman chewing gum, ask her what number she’s up to.

5. It’s sexy when you cook for us. Unless you’re wearing an apron, then it’s just weird.

6. It’s the circumference stupid! The numerical measurement of the bra has nothing to do with the size of our boobs.

7. Never take credit for something we did. Unless that something is farting, we’ll never raise our hands on that one.

8. The fact that you hesitate before using our razor because it’s pink and might make you look gay is equal parts cute and pathetic.

9. It’s not our period that’s making us moody, it’s you.

10. If you ask a woman to spend the night and she says no, accept it. Don’t try to convince her by offering her breakfast. Any woman that is swayed by the prospect of an omlette probably isn’t a keeper.

11. We order our salad dressing on the side because we are control freaks. We can’t control you, so we control lettuce.

12. We do not like it when you pound on the bathroom door and say “is everything ok in there?” Trust us, you do not want to know what’s going on in there.

13. PMS is real. It’s chemical and it sucks. If someone told you that you would be repeatedly kicked in the balls every thirty days, you’d probably get moody around day twenty-six too.

14. Women have a sixth sense, like Santa Claus, we know if you’ve been bad or good. So you know what to do….. for goodness sake.

15. Fast dancing with you is like watching a stray dog trot down the interstate. We pray for a miracle but know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that a horrific tragedy is about to occur. That is why we prefer fast dancing with our girlfriends. It has nothing to do with secret lesbian desires.