Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

Bob calls his buddy Sam, the horse rancher, and says he’s sending a friend over to look at a horse.

Sam asks “How will I recognize him?”

“That’s easy… He’s a midget with a speech impediment.”

So, the midget shows up, and Sam asks him if he’s looking for a male or female horse. “A female horth.”

So he shows him a prized filly.

“Nith lookin horth. Can I thee her eyeth”?

Sam picks up the midget and he gives the horse’s eyes the once over.

“Nith eyeth, can I thee her earzth”? So he picks the little fella up again, and shows him the horse’s ears.

“Nith earzth, can I see her mouf”?

The rancher is gettin’ pretty ticked off by this point, but he picks him up again and shows him the horse’s mouth.

“Nice mouf, can I see her twat”?

Totally mad at this point, the rancher grabs him under his arms and rams the midget’s head as far as he can up the horse’s twat, pulls him out and slams him on the ground.

The midget gets up, sputtering and coughing.

“Perhapth I should rephrase that. Can I thee her wun awound a widdlebit?”

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Sister Mary, who worked for a home health agency, was out making her rounds visiting homebound patients when she ran out of gas. As luck would have it, a gas station was just a block away.

She walked to the station to borrow a gas can and buy some gas. The attendant told her that the only gas can he owned had been lent out, but she could wait until it was returned.

Since the nun was on the way to see a patient, she decided not to wait and walked back to her car. She looked for something in her car that she could fill with gas and spotted the bedpan she was taking to the patient

Always resourceful, she carried the bedpan to the station, filled it with gas, and carried the full bedpan back to her car.

As she was pouring the gas into her tank, two men watched from across the street. One of them turned to the other and said, “If it starts, I’m turning Catholic.”

Blakk Frogg asks, “Do they have a sign which reads ‘Over 1 Billion Served’ as well?”

= = = = = = = = =

A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:

CHEESEBURGER: $1.50
CHICKEN SANDWICH : $2.50
HANDJOB: $10.00

Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive women serving drinks to a meager looking group of men.

“Yes?” she inquires with a knowing smile. “Can I help you?”

“I was wondering,” whispers the man. “Are you the one who gives the hand-jobs?”

“Yes”, she purrs, “I am.”

The man replies “Well, wash your hands, I want a cheeseburger.”

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