Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

Let the drooling commence…

We have no idea how to make this lovely looking pastry… but the folks over at Bacon Today certainly do so head on over to Bacon Today and learn all sorts of tasty ways to add more bacon to your daily routine.

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Now the obvious problem with this should jump out at you right away. Some people WANT chunks of bacon stuck in their teeth and refer to them as ’snacks for later’ or ‘flavor savers’.

Have you ever found yourself stuck in a meeting with no hope of getting out and chowing down on more bacon? Well if you had PLANNED ahead and NOT flossed you might have a chunk or two of bacon wedged between molars that you could dig out with your tongue and suck on…

But no, you had to do the hygienic thing and floss.

Stupid, stupid, stupid!

Would you believe some people do not know that different types of bacon exist? Where have these people LIVED all their lives? In a cave? In a van down by the river? Under a rock NEXT to the van down by the river?

Thankfully we have come to the aid of those unfortunate and uneducated souls. Below you will find a pretty good explanation of the different types/forms of bacon.

Pay attention because this WILL be on the TEST later. lol.

Streaky bacon comes from the belly of a pig. It is very fatty with long veins of fat running parallel to the rind. This is the most common form of bacon in the United States. Pancetta is Italian streaky bacon, smoked or aqua (unsmoked), with a strong flavour. It is generally rolled up into cylinders after curing. In America unsmoked streaky bacon is often referred to as side pork.

Back bacon comes from the loin in the middle of the back of the pig. It is a lean meaty cut of bacon, with relatively less fat compared to other cuts and has a ham-like texture and flavour. Most bacon consumed in the United Kingdom is back bacon. Also called Irish bacon or Canadian Bacon.

Middle bacon is much like back bacon but is cheaper and somewhat fattier, with a richer flavour.

Cottage bacon is thinly sliced lean pork meat from a shoulder cut that is typically oval shaped and meaty. It is cured and then sliced into round pieces for baking or frying.

Jowl bacon is cured and smoked cheeks of pork.

Bacon joints include the following:

Collar bacon is taken from the back of a pig near the head.

Hock, from the hog ankle joint between the ham and the foot.

Gammon, from the hind leg, traditionally “Wiltshire cured”.

Picnic bacon is from the picnic cut, which includes the shoulder beneath the blade. It is fairly lean, but tougher than most pork cuts.

( source )

No go forth into the world with your newly acquired bacon knowledge… and try not to fall flat on your face.

We salute you, Barney, for makling a burger piled high with bacon! We have not figured out exactly HOW a person would FIT that thing in their mouth, but anyways… It’s a gorgeous looking burger with plenty of bacon!

OK, so we feel sooooo much better knowing that people other than ourselves have gone through a decision-making nightmare involving bacon as complex as the one illustrated on this Bacon Flowchart.

We no longer feel like total losers… though honestly, we probably ought to. LOL.