Ordinarily we’d claim beer or some other alcoholic beverage made us take a picture of bacon cooking in the pan from some weird angle but no, that didn’t happen this time. we just felt like making a certain percentage of our readers nauseous… or at the very least we wanted then to turn their heads like curious dogs when they look at the picture.
Bacon Cooking in the Pan… All Angled and Stuff.
02 Apr, 2010
Posted by: Blakk Frogg In: Adult Humor|Adult MySpace Comments|Alcohol|Americas Best|Babes|Blakk Frogg Speaks|Drinking|Funny Pictures|Humor|MySpace|MySpace Comments|MySpace Pictures|Pretty Girls|Sarcastic
Stop staring at your sister’s droopy butt and pay attention! Below you will find the most popular pics on MySpaceSarcasm.Com at a time when gerbils mated and accidentally created moose dung. Now go get us some beer, you lazy freaks!
cut-n-paste the code to use the image on blogs, profiles, comments.. and your mom’s forehead!
cut-n-paste the code to use the image on blogs, profiles, comments.. and your mom’s forehead!
cut-n-paste the code to use the image on blogs, profiles, comments.. and your mom’s forehead!
cut-n-paste the code to use the image on blogs, profiles, comments.. and your mom’s forehead!
cut-n-paste the code to use the image on blogs, profiles, comments.. and your mom’s forehead!
Just when you thought life could not get any better, some fool goes and invents an alarm clock that begins to slowly cook a slice of bacon 10 minutes before the alarm goes off. Simply place a frozen strip of bacon in the clock, set the alarm, and pass out.
Bacon awaits you in the morning, Master!
Wake Up to a Strip of Fresh Cooked Bacon
Imagine, if you will, waking up to the glorious smell of bacon each and every morning — without the expense of a live-in chef OR the aggravation of an annoying significant other who gets up earlier than you do!
Never mind the obvious fire hazard created when ya’ put a heating unit inside a wooden pig. Think, instead, about all the great mornings your half-asleep self will clumsily jam your grubby fingers inside a hot tray and burn the dog snot out of yourself.
As you reel your fingers back in pain, try not to drop your salty, meaty bacon prize on your (most likely unswept and un-vacuumed) floor — ‘cuz then you will have a mere ten seconds to pick it up and eat it w/o fear of germs.
10 second rule, man! The ten second rule!
Some days a guy can really luck out, ya’ know? Take the other day, for example. After a long 10-hour day of slaving away at the office and then fighting traffic on my way home for an hour and a half I dropped all my sh#t in the front hallway of my home, marched directly towards the kitchen to get a beer and saw… this… along the way.
A Beautiful Bounty of Bacon
Apparently my girlfriend went shopping earlier and got us some presents. I love Christmas! Wait… Didn’t we celebrate that a month or so ago? I don’t care! I see bacon!
They need to create a bacon-centric Holiday so that we bacon lovers can rejoice and share the gift of bacon with our fellow bacon believers. I don’t think I’ll live to SEE the day when a standard issue office calendar has Bacon Day listed as an official government Holiday or ever have a chance to walk through a Hallmark Store and browse through Bacon Day greeting cards, but perhaps my children will.
Getting back to the bacon on the table though, wow! A beautiful bounty of bacon… and things get better! Not only did she purchase a perfect pile of pork products, she already had some laid in a frying pan ready to cook! She also had a cold beer for me in her hand!
Man oh man. A cold beer and all that beautiful bacon. Talk about awesome, right? Totally awesome. Love at first sight.
Oh, and as for the girlfriend, I think I’ll keep her around a little while longer.
Every once in a great while we get the urge to combine bacon with… pretty much anything we can get our hands on. This time we drank a few too many screwdrivers (that’s vodka and OJ… in case you didn’t know) BEFORE breakfast and thought, “Hey! Wrap the hashbrown thingies in bacon… and bake!”
“Yes, Sir, Captain Belvedere! That sounds like a GREAT idea!”
* burp *
Bacon Wrapped Hashbrowns
The house started to smell pretty good as the slippery meat slowly drained its meaty juices into the hashbrowns and the hasbrowns drank up every drop.
Wow. That sounded pretty obscene.
But anyways, the cooking took place and soon we ventured back to the oven which we keep over near the fridge — the fridge that conveniently held the vodka and OJ. After doling out another round of 22 ounce pre-breakfast brain bashers and giving them a hearty taste test, we opened up the oven and saw…
Bacon Wrapped Hashbrowns
Needless to say we did not get the results we thought we would, but everything turned out OK in the end… ‘cuz it tasted fine and we had no choice BUT to eat the stuff since we had nothing else in the house worth eating and none of us could pass a sobriety test if we got pulled over.
All this before 9 AM. Saturdays ROCK!
We write this blog entry for the REAL motherfroggers out there in Bacon Land… for the HARDWORKING bastards (like us) who just can’t seem to catch a break these days.
The other week we ran into some serious financial woes and found ourselves scrounging for change in the sofa cushions and having to actually plan our meals instead of just opening the fridge/freezer, picking a bacon, selecting a ’side item’, cooking and eating.
Below you will see chicken breasts that we cut into smaller, no longer man-sized portions, and wrapped w/ a few slices of black pepper bacon we had left over from a previous bacon feast.
Pepper Bacon Wrapped Chicken Chunks
Though we did feel incredibly grateful that we at least had food to eat, making what you see in the photo last for 2 dinners and 2 lunches really sucked. Thankfully we had lots of crack cocaine to smoke between meals so we never felt any hunger pains. LOL.
The other day a friend sent us a picture that made our mouths water more than normal. And yes, you dumbass, the picture had bacon in it.
Bacon Wrapped Scallops at Buck Ridge Plantation
Now just imagine getting a picture of a TROUGH filled w/ bacon-wrapped scallops — after you’d just finished eating a lame ass, generic brand hot dog. Granted the hot dog had a jacket of bacon, but still… Scallops trump hot dog ANY damn day!
WTF is Buck Ridge Plantation?
So glad you asked! Our friends tell us people travel from all over the SC area to go there, stay for a few days, and do some serious deer hunting… or they go there for a wedding. LOL.
Seriously, though. The place has a ton of natural, South Carolina wilderness surrounding well-maintained, modern banquet halls and stuff. Clearly an ideal place to have a beautiful wedding — or blast a hole in some of Mother Nature’s best woodland creatures — and kick back with a bucket of bacon-wrapped scallops and cold beer!
12 Jan, 2010
Everyone knows we love bacon and that we judge all things solely on their bacon content. OK, so not all things, but it almost sounded believable for a minute, right?
At any rate, when you go out for lunch and order a sandwich with bacon in it, you expect to get real bacon, not some lame excuse for bacon. Limp, greasy strips of mystery ‘meat’ need not apply!
So it should come as no surprise that we frequent a hot little lunch spot called Four Moons Internet Cafe in Orangeburg, SC because it has the best looking and tasting bacon of ANY lunch spot in the area. They use good quality Applewood Bacon and cook it just right so that you get a perfect crispiness-to-meatiness ratio when you bite into your sandwich.
Need proof? We thought you would, so we asked the proprietor to snap us a picture of the bacon they use before it goes on a sandwich. Check it out!
Great Lookin’ Applewood Bacon at Four Moons Internet Cafe
Damn… Judging by the amount of drooling going on right now, it seems as though lunch plans just got made for tomorrow! Hope to see ya’ there!
Advice for Other Lunch Shops:
11 Jan, 2010
As would only make sense on a web site devoted to bacon and all its salty, meaty goodness… we will now present the most popular entries on More Bacon Please for the month of December. So get your bibs on, people! It’s BACON TIME!
And this entry gets honorable mention… ‘cuz WE liked it even if the rest of you didn’t!
A boss was complaining in a staff meeting the other day that he wasn’t getting any respect.
Later that morning he went to a local sign shop and bought a small sign that read, “I’m the Boss”. He then taped it to his office door.
Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said…
“Your wife called. She wants her sign back!”
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