Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

This baby knows EXACTLY what he wants: He wants stupid people to shut the hell up! Can you blame him? Stupid people SUCK!

Some people say Blakk Frogg has a face for radio… and the personality of a pissed off walrus with a toothache. Regardless of that, he knows for a fact that a guy named Lewza ought not enter ANY competitions, let alone run for office!

Would you vote for a guy named Lewza?

Our sources report that this sign actually got used in a real election someplace in Upstate New York.

For those of you with a drug problem and children at home, don’t let this happen to you! Hide your drugs in more appropriate places!

Sarcastic MySpace Comments

I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me today, and we all could probably use more calm in our lives.

Some doctor on TV this morning said the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started.

So I looked around my house to see things I’d started and hadn’t finished; so I have managed to finish off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum, a pockage of Prungles, tha mainder of bot Prozic and Valiuminun scriptions, the res of the chesescke an a box a chocletz.

Yu haf no idr how fablus I feel rite now. Plaese sned dhis orn to dem yu fee ar in ned ov iennr pisss. An telum, u luvum!!

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Funny/Sexy/Sarcastic/Stupid MySpace Comments

In an earlier posting we talked about a very tasty bacon wrapped treat: Bacon Wrapped Jumbo Chicken Franks. Now of COURSE you have the option of using other types of hot dogs as mandrels for the bacon… but we highly suggest sticking with bigger wieners if you can. Size DOES matter, ya’ know.

So what can ya’ do with small wieners? Especially the ones made from quality meat like Nathan’s and Hebrew National? Rest assured we have found a baconified use for those, too!

Just last night we feasted on some Nathan’s Hot Dogs prepared in the following manner:

1. Cooked bacon. As usual.
2. Allowed bacon to drain on paper towel and cool to room temperature.
3. Cooked hot dogs while bacon cooled.
4. Diced a variety of fresh hot peppers while hot dogs cooked.
5. Opened hot dog buns and laid a strip of bacon on each bun wall.
6. Placed a line of diced hot peppers where the two strips of bacon meet.
7. Apply a ‘squiggle’ of mustard (not honey mustard!) over the peppers.
8. Drop a hot dog on top of all that and tuck all the components into place.

One additional thing we opted to do that some may not want to do: We added an additional ‘squiggle’ of mustard over the hot dog because hot dog buns don’t tend to have enough moisture in them for our taste.

We LOVED these hot dog, bacon and fresh hot pepper creations! You will, too!

OK, so we have more or less vanished off the face of the planet for a long while. OOPS.

Well don’t worry, despite the ridiculous cost of bacon these days we have continued to indulge even if we haven’t told you any wonderful bacon stories recently.

Today’s story will make ya’ want to go to the kitchen RIGHT away, though, and eat some bacon!

Killer Bacon Sandwich Idea

Imagine, if you will, the classic grilled cheese sandwich. Boring, we know, even if you use exotic cheeses and know exactly how to get the bread golden brown without burning it.

So… add bacon and it gets better? Of COURSE, but if you wait just a second, we’ll tell you how to take grilled bacon and cheese sandwiches to a whole new level!

Starting at the bottom of the sandwich, we had the following layers:

• Slice of cheese
• Whole slice of thick cut bacon (cooked) broken into halves
• Slice thin cut salami
• Diced fresh jalapenos from a friend’s garden
• Slice of cheese
• More thin sliced salami
• More bacon the same as the first layer
• Final slice of cheese

As bread we selected some sort of whole grain stuff… because we had that in the pantry.

And… the Taste Test

Unfroggin’ believably tasty! We can’t wait to make another one!

Sorry we have no pics on this one… We ate the experiment too hastily!

OK, just so everyone knows, the folks responsible for More Bacon Please have NOT become vegetarians. Apparently the lack of recent posts has made SOME idiots, er, people out there believe we gave up eating meat.

Preposterous!

We have not given up eating meat and we CERTAINLY have not given up eating bacon. We just cannot AFFORD to eat as much as we did this time last year. On average, the price of bacon has increased way more than our wallets can stomach — despite the grumblings of our stomachs.

Standard, generic bacon rose from its regular cost of around $2.25 per pack to over $3.00 per pack…. an increase of around 33%. Really? 33% and no one sees a problem with that? Hmmm…. That’s fu#ked up.

Brand name bacon rose from its regular, non-sale cost of around $3.99 per pack to over $7.00 per pack! We really don’t need to do the math for you on THAT abusive pricing, do we? Somebody’s getting rich while us, poor WORKING CLASS folks have to ration our bacon intake. Hmmm…. We find that REALLY fu#ked up.

So… What gives? The price of bacon remained relatively stable during times when gas prices soared out of control and costs of other items jumped up because companies incurred greater fuel and transportation costs. Now, however, over the past few months bacon’s pricing has jumped up quite a bit — and for apparently no reason?

Unacceptable! Completely unacceptable! We DEMAND reasonable bacon pricing!

You Know You Love Bacon When… Pigs Protest Your Every Meal!

Yep. We finally dragged our bacon-loving selves away from the bacon-filled table long enough to post another article on this site. Actually, we have not had the MONEY to buy bacon recently due to evil, greedy big business types jacking up the prices on all grades of bacon and keeping us from enjoying our favorite snack.

So anyways, in lieu of a tasty bacon story, today we’d like to share a short and to the point bacon joke that we heard recently:

Years ago it was suggested ‘ that an apple a day kept the doctor away ‘ But since all the doctors are now Muslim, I’ve found that a bacon sandwich works best!

Did someone say… BACON SANDWICH?!?!?

We will never grow tired of that picture. Ever. EVER.

Yes, we know the 4th of July happened two weeks… deal with it.

At some point over that weekend the infamous Blakk Frogg decided to put a few things together that represented HIS Fourth of July Celebration and below you will see what that evil bastard came up with… after a full day of pounding beers, eating bacon and buying things to blow up.

Now if that photo doesn’t explain everything RIGHT w/ America, then what does? Granted Blakk Frogg omitted the inclusion of a Maxim Magazine cover, but only because his new edition had not arrived in the mail yet. Ha ha.

Blakk Frogg never bought fireworks legally before. If he had more money available, he’d have bought A WHOLE LOT MORE than he did — in spite of his girlfriend’s protests.

Something about hanging out with friends all day drinking ice cold beers pulled from a sizable “bucket of beer”, grilling a truckload of meat on the grill (most flavored somehow w/ bacon, of course), and then blowing things up LEGALLY really appeals to a Frogg.

Wait… Did you just see the award-winning phrase “bucket of beer” and NOT understand what that meant? Sinners! The whole lot of you! We must educate you, ya’ filthy heathens!

Yes. Yes we like beer. Yes we like bacon. Yes we wish the whole world would just stopping acting like a bunch of bitches and just send us all its beer and bacon.

Is that so WRONG?

No, we didn’t leave beer on the bottom of the shopping cart in the grocery store parking lot. Instead, we forgot to post an image of the BEER supply we lined up while visiting w/ family in Myrtle Beach. OOPS.

Now we must tell you, though, that we had more beer lined up waiting to go in the fridge… but damn… don’t that there fridge full’o’beer look right perty?

Bottles of liquor made an appearance, too. More accurately they made a DISappearance. Ha ha. One of the liquor adventures included sample bottles of Jagermeister and Tequila Rose. The guy at the liquor store, an self-admitted lover of bacon, by the way, suggested we add a shot called Jagged Rose to the stuff we’d lined up on the counter already. Hmmmm…. How could we resist?

How’d it taste? Not too bad… Not too bad at all.

And now for the bacon

You didn’t think we’d post something and not mention bacon, did you? Silly rabbit! Take yourself out back and flog yourself with a gopher corpse!

So anyways, our hosts also love bacon and couldn’t WAIT to show us a new bacon-infused cheese their local deli recently began selling… and what better way to demonstrate the sheer awesomeness of a new cheese than over perfectly cooked, hand-packed burgers, right?

The cheese? Cheddar. The bacon? Applewood smoked. The verdict? Totally tasty! Go out and get some right now if you can!