While some of you may have looked at the title of this post and thought, “Oh, Frogg, that’s ridiculous! Why would a grown man or woman ever DO such a thing?!?”
Frogg’s answer: Because, as George Carlin (RIP) said, “FARTS ARE FUNNY!”
At least the sounds associated with them. The noxious, repulsive, toxic, and occasionally suffocating odors associated with them on the other hand, no one with a sense of smell laughs at THOSE.
No Laughing at Other People’s Farts?
So the next time some old man rips a dinosaur blast two stalls down, do not hesitate to laugh. Just remember that the more you laugh, the more air tainted with fossil fart fumes you will have to take in immediately afterward.
With so many people listing to iPods or other devices that make use of headphones it comes as no surprise to Blakk Frogg that a few people need reminders about things they ought not do while enjoying music (or the soundtrack from their favorite porno) through their headphones.
Lesson #1 – Stop screaming, you jackass! You may not have the ability to hear anything, including yourself, over the music but we can hear you just fine!
Lesson #2 – Stop singing along, you moron! You cannot POSSIBLY hear yourself singing when you have the volume cranked up to 100 while using headphones but we surely can!
Lesson #3 – Turn the damn volume down, you deaf bastard! Listening to music that loud destroys your hearing and means next time you’ll need to turn it up even louder! Oh, and by the way: Nobody but YOU enjoys that crap you listen to!
Lesson #4 – Headphones may stop you from hearing your own farts but the rest of us CAN hear them, ya’ no class gas bag!
Last night as Blakk Frogg lamented over having to go to bed alone it suddenly occured to him that he had the ability to do something that a fella shacked up with a female companion for a night of raunchy, hair-pulling sex cannot safely do… so he let loose a 10 second anal explosion that caused the covers at the end of the bed to fly up and his feet to get real warm, real fast.
The unlucky bastard with a woman would’ve gotten smacked for that.
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