A little boy took his dog on a “take your pet to school” day. There were prizes for the smallest, the prettiest, the cutest, and the smartest pet.
Determined that his dog win a prize, the boy put his pet through a whole series of tricks.
Finally the boy turned to the dog and asked, “Mindy, how much is two plus two minus four?”
The dog sat quietly, making no sound, remaining still and silent. “Right!” exclaimed the boy.
His dog won first prize.
If you want someone who will eat whatever you put in front of him and never says its not quite as good as his mother made it…
Then buy a dog.
If you want someone always willing to go out, at any hour, for as long and wherever you want …..
Then buy a dog.
If you want someone who will never touch the remote, doesn’t care about football, and can sit next to you as you watch romantic movies ……
Then buy a dog.
If you want someone who is content to get up on your bed just to warm your feet and whom you can push off if he snores …
Then buy a dog.
If you want someone who never criticizes what you do, doesn’t care if you are pretty or ugly, fat or thin, young or old, who acts as if every word you say is especially worthy of listening to, and loves you unconditionally, perpetually …..
Then buy a dog.
But, on the other hand, if you want someone who will never come when you call, ignores you totally when you come home, leaves hair all over the place, walks all over you, runs around all night and only comes home to eat and sleep, and acts as if your entire existence is solely to ensure his happiness…..
Wait for it….
Americas Best MySpace Comments
Blakk Frogg believes all creatures great and small have ways in which they remind themselves of what constitutes ‘appropriate behavior’. See below for a list of self-help hints stolen from a strung out, crack-addicted French Poodle named Henry:
1. I will not eat the cats’ food before they eat it or after they throw it up.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.
4. The sofa is not a ‘face towel’.
5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad’s underwear when he’s on the toilet.
7. Sticking my nose into someone’s crotch is an unacceptable way of saying “hello”.
8. I don’t need to suddenly stand straight up when I’m under the coffee table.
9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house – not after.
10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.
11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.
12. The cat is not a ‘squeaky toy’ so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it’s usually not a good thing.
