A firefighter was working on the engine outside the station when he noticed a little girl nearby in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides & a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle.
The girl was wearing a firefighter’s helmet. The wagon was being pulled by her dog & her cat.
The fire fighter walked over to take a closer look. “That sure is a nice fire truck,” the firefighter said with admiration.
“Thanks,” the girl replied.
The firefighter looked a little closer & noticed the girl had tied the wagon to her dog’s collar & to the cat’s testicles.
“Little partner,” the firefighter said “I don’t want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat’s collar, I think you could go faster.”
The little girl replied thoughtfully, “You’re probably right, but then I wouldn’t have a siren.”
Simply Frogg and Americas Best
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If you want someone who will eat whatever you put in front of him and never says its not quite as good as his mother made it…
Then buy a dog.
If you want someone always willing to go out, at any hour, for as long and wherever you want …..
Then buy a dog.
If you want someone who will never touch the remote, doesn’t care about football, and can sit next to you as you watch romantic movies ……
Then buy a dog.
If you want someone who is content to get up on your bed just to warm your feet and whom you can push off if he snores …
Then buy a dog.
If you want someone who never criticizes what you do, doesn’t care if you are pretty or ugly, fat or thin, young or old, who acts as if every word you say is especially worthy of listening to, and loves you unconditionally, perpetually …..
Then buy a dog.
But, on the other hand, if you want someone who will never come when you call, ignores you totally when you come home, leaves hair all over the place, walks all over you, runs around all night and only comes home to eat and sleep, and acts as if your entire existence is solely to ensure his happiness…..
Wait for it….
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then buy a cat!
You Don’t Have To Own A Cat To Appreciate This One!
We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Years Eve Party.
We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard.
We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and we opened the front door to leave the house. The cat we put out in the yard, scoots back into the house.
We didn’t want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird.
My wife goes out to the taxi, while I went inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, with me in hot pursuit.
Waiting in the cab, my wife doesn’t want the driver to know that the house will be empty for the night. So, she explains to the taxi driver that I will be out soon, “He’s just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother.”
A few minutes later I get into the cab. “Sorry I took so long,” I said, as we drove away. “That stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. Had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck. Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked! I hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw her out into the backyard!”
The cab driver hit a parked car…
