A guy walks into a local bar in Arkansas and orders a white wine.
All the hillbillies sitting around the bar look up, expecting to see some pitiful Yankee from the north.
The bartender says, “You ain’t from around here, are ya?”
The guy says, “No, I’m from Canada.”
The bartender says, “What do you do in Canada?”
The guy says, “I’m a taxidermist.
“The bartender says, “A taxidermist? What in tarnation is a taxidermist? Do you drive a taxi?”
“No, a taxidermist doesn’t drive a taxi. I mount animals.
“The bartender grins and hollers, “It’s okay boys. He’s one of us…”
A man limps into a bar with a cane and alligator. The bartender stops him and says “Hold on a second here – you can’t bring that animal in here, they aren’t allowed!”
So the man says, “But my gator here does a really cool trick…”
The bartender says “Well then, lets see!”
So the man whips out his dick and shoves it in the gators mouth. He then takes his cane and starts bashing the gator in the head with it. A crowd gathers around and everyone is astonished when he pulls out his dick without a single scratch.
He looks around at the crowd and says, “Does anyone else want to try?”
An old lady raises her hand and says… “Sure, but don’t hit me with that stick.”
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Blakk Frogg says, “One good turn deserves another, so turn around, go to the bar, and get me a beer!”
A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer.
“Certainly, Sir , that’ll be one cent,” said the barman.
“One Cent?” the man exclaimed. He glanced at the menu and asked: “How much for a nice juicy steak and a bottle of wine?”
“A nickel,” the barman replied.
“A nickel?!?” exclaimed the man. “Where’s the guy who owns this place?”
The bartender replied: “Upstairs, with my wife.”
The man asked: “What’s he doing upstairs with your wife?”
The bartender replied: “The same thing I’m doing to his business down here.”
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