Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

Some people in West Virginia have trouble with all those “shalls” and “shall nots” in the in the Ten Commandments. Folks just aren’t used to talking in those terms. So, some folks in middle West Virginia got together and translated the “King James” into “Mountain Country” language.

The Hillbilly’s Ten Commandments (posted on the wall at a West Virginia Church)

1. Just one God.
2. Honor yer Ma & Pa.
3. No tellin’ tales or gossipin’.
4. Git yourself to Sunday meetin’.
5. Put nothin’ before God.
6. No foolin’ around with another fellow’s gal.
7. No killin’.
8. Watch yer mouth.
9. Don’t take what ain’t yers.
10. Don’t be hankerin’ for yer buddy’s stuff.

Now that’s kinda plain an’ simple, don’t ya think? Y’all have a nice day!

God went to the Arabs and said, “I have Commandments for you that will make your lives better.

The Arabs asked, “What are Commandments?”

And the Lord said, “They are rules for living.”

“Can you give us an example?”

“Thou shall not kill.”

“Not kill? We’re not interested”

He went to the Blacks and said, “I have Commandments.”

The Blacks wanted an example, and the Lord said, “Honor thy Father and Mother.”

“Father? We don’t know who our fathers are.”

Then He went to the Mexicans and said, “I have Commandments.”

The Mexicans also wanted an example, and the Lord said “Thou shall not steal.”

“Not steal? We’re not interested.”

Then He went to the French and said, “I have Commandments.”

The French too wanted an example and the Lord said, “Thou shall not commit adultery.”

“Not commit adultery? We’re not interested.”

Finally, He went to the Jews and said, “I have Commandments.

“Commandments?” they said, “How much are they?”

“They’re free.”

“We’ll take ten.”

There, that ought to offend just about everybody.

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And now for yet another Moses related item:

Americas Best MySpace Sarcastic Comments

There. That ought to have completed the cycle of pissing people off…… for now, at least. We reserve the right to come back and piss more people off later. 😛