Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

Bubba was from the lower valley, and he decided he wanted to get married to his sweetheart. So, while enjoying some grits and gravy for dinner one evening, Bubba brought up the subject with his Ma and Pa.

“Bubba, you can’t get married yet,” insisted Ma. “You’re the baby of the family.”

“But Ma,” Bubba protested, “I just had my 38th birthday last week.”

“We know that, Bubba,” Pa chimed, “but your Ma and me think you should put off getting married until after you graduate from high school.”

A carpet installer decides to take a cigarette break after completing the installation in the first of several rooms he has to do. Finding them missing from his pocket he begins searching, only to notice a small lump in his recently completed carpet-installation.

Not wanting to rip up all that work for a lousy pack of cigarettes he simply walks over and pounds the lump flat. He decides to forgo the break continues on to the other rooms to be carpeted.

At the end of the day he’s completed his work and has started loading his tools into his trucks when two events occur almost simultaneously: 1) He spies his pack of cigarettes on the dashboard of the truck, and 2) The lady of the house calls out, “Have you seen my parakeet?”

A man was called in for an audit by the IRS. So, he asked his accountant for advice on what to wear.

“Wear your worst clothing and an old pair of shoes. Let them think you are a pauper,” the accountant replied.

Then he asked his lawyer the same question, but got the opposite advice: “Don’t let them intimidate you. Wear your best suit and an expensive tie.”

Confused, the man went to his Minister, told him of the conflicting advice, and asked him what he should do.

“Let me tell you a story,” replied the Minister. “A woman, about to be married, asked her mother what to wear on her wedding night. ‘Wear a heavy, long, flannel nightgown that goes right up to your neck and wool socks.’ But when she asked her best friend, she got conflicting advice: “Wear your most sexy negligee, with a V-neck right down to your navel.'”

The man protested: “But Reverend, what does all this have to do with my problem with the IRS?”

“It doesn’t matter what you wear; you’re going to get screwed.”

Three third graders from Kentucky (an Irish kid, an Italian Kid and a Redneck kid) are on the play ground at recess.

The Irish kid suggests that they play a new game. “Let’s see who has the largest weenie,” he says. “Okay.” They all agree.

The Italian kid pulls down his zipper and whips it out.

“That’s nothing,” says the Irish kid. He whips his out and proudly shows that his is at least an inch longer.

Not to be outdone, the Redneck kid whips his out. It is by far not only the biggest, but the fattest.

That night, eating dinner at home, the Redneck kid’s mother asks him what he did at school today.

“Oh, we worked on a science project, had a math test and read out loud from a new book and then during recess, my friends and I played a new game called “Let’s see who has the largest weenie.”

“What kind of game is that, honey?” asks the mother.

“Well, me, Anthony and Patrick each pulled out our weenies and I had the biggest! The other kids say it’s because I’m a Redneck. Is that true, Mom?”

Mom replies, “No, Honey. It’s because you’re twenty-one.”

One day an Indian boy asked his father why they have such long names.

The dad answers, “Well, son, whenever an Indian baby is born the father would go outside and name the baby after the first thing he sees…”

Then, after a few moments of silent reflection, the father asks, “Why do you ask, Two Dogs Fucking?”

A man walks into a hamburger shop and orders a regular meal. Later, the waitress brings his meal to him. He takes a bite out of it, and notices there’s a small hair in the hamburger. He begins yelling frantically at the waitress, “Waitress, there’s a hair in my hamburger! I demand to see what is going on inthat kitchen!”

So, the waitress takes him back where the cook is and to his horror, he sees the cook take the meat patty and flatten it under his arm pit.

He says, “That’s disgusting!”

Then the waitress says, “You think that’s disgusting, you should see him make donuts!”

A teacher asked her class, “What do you want out of life?”

A little girl raised her hand and said, “All I want out of life is four little animals.”

The teacher asked, “Really, and what four little animals would that be?”

The little girl answered, “A Mink on my back, a Jaguar in the garage, a Tiger in the bed and, of course, I’ll need a Jackass to pay for it all.”

Many people have tried to stop the infamous Blakk Frogg from posting funny, sarcastic and sometimes sexy comment pictures for myspace. . . but obviously they have all failed. . . ‘cuz they’re all a bunch of LOSERS. 😛

Sarcastic MySpace Comments

Sarcastic MySpace Comments

Sarcastic MySpace Comments

Now take you happy ass on over to Americas Best MySpace Comments for tons of funny, sarcastic, sexy and sometimes downright disgusting cartoons and pictures. Blakk Frogg takes pride in his work and posts new material all the time on that site and others like Adult MySpace Comments and Sarcastic MySpace so don’t forget to buy him a beer at Happy Hour next time you see him!

Yet another weekend has come and gone. Beers got drank, food got eaten, money got spent, and now Monday has come back around to remind us of just how miserable and hungover we can feel after a few days off.

In honor of the crappy feeling Blakk Frogg has today, he proudly posts some Adult MySpace Comments for your viewing pleasure.

Americas Best MySpace Comments

Americas Best MySpace Comments

Americas Best MySpace Comments

Americas Best MySpace Comments

Americas Best MySpace Comments

Americas Best MySpace Comments

So if you didn’t get the hint, Americas Best MySpace Comments has a ton of funny, sarcastic, sexy and sometimes downright disgusting cartoons and pictures for you to look at. Blakk Frogg takes pride in his work and posts new material all the time on that site and others like Adult MySpace Comments and Sarcastic MySpace. Now get out there and BE somebody!

An Old Italian man lived alone in the country. He wanted to dig his tomato garden, but it was very hard work as the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:

Dear Vincent,

I am feeling pretty badly because it looks like I won’t be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me.

Love,

Dad

A few days later he received a letter from his son:

Dear Dad,

Don’t dig up that garden. That’s where I buried the bodies.

Love,

Vinnie

At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son:

Dear Dad,

Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That’s the best I could do under the circumstances.

Love you,

Vinnie

Sarcastic MySpace Comments