Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

After three years of marriage, Kim was still questioning her husband about his lurid past.

“C’mon, tell me,” she asked for the thousandth time, “how many women have you slept with?”

“Baby,” he protested, “if I told you, you’d throw a fit”.

Kim promised she wouldn’t get angry, and convinced her hubby to tell her.

“Okay,” he said, “One, two, three, four, five, six, seven – then there’s you – nine, ten, 11, 12, 13..”

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Shame on you!

Now all of you people REALLY ought to take yourselves out back for a good spanking ‘cuz there’s no way in HELL you clicked the link for any other reason than to see something…. ‘sexual’

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Truth be told, though, I guess even I would have clicked the link. * sigh * So I guess that means I need a spanking, too. Damn…. That’ll be the fourth one this week and it’s not even 9 PM on Saturday yet! Woo Hoo! I’m ahead of schedule!

Little TONY was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, “Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!”

The teacher replied, ‘Now, TONY, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is ‘urinate.’

Please use the word ‘ur-i-nate’ in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go.”

Little TONY, thinks for a bit, and then says, “You’re an eight, but if you had bigger tits, you’d be a TEN!”

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One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word “beautiful” in the same sentence twice.

First, she called! on little Suzie, who responded with, “My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it.”

“Very good, Suzie,” replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael.

“My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully.”

She said, “Excellent, Michael!” Then the teacher reluctantly called on little TONY.

“Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said ‘Beautiful, just fucking beautiful!'”

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Nothing ruins a nice evening at home (or in the backyard) with the pussy more than having to wade through excess hair. So, in the interest of appeasing the masses and keeping some similance of order in the world, Blakk Frogg has decided that he will take the initiative and insist that the pussy get shaved — today!

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Many of you thought this post would feature the anatomy of a woman getting trimmed, and for that Blakk Frogg really does NOT apologize. Get your minds out of the gutter! You’re in his parking spot!

– blakk frogg

Once again the infamous Blakk Frogg dares to push the limits of good taste by publishing a blog entitled “Oral Sex”.

Oh, and if you HAVE to ask what “oral sex” means, either ‘cuz you never learned or have long since forgotten its meaning, you might wanna’ consider visiting your local ‘Red Light District’ for a crash course. And bring cash, ‘cuz Sally Streetwalker doesn’t accept American Express!

Simply Frogg and Americas Best
free jokes, comments and graphics

Simply Frogg and Americas Best
free jokes, comments and graphics

Simply Frogg and Americas Best
free jokes, comments and graphics

In case you want ’em for YOUR MySpace pages, blogs, whatever…. visit Simply Frogg MySpace Comments and pick up the drag-n-drop code today!

I said TODAY, damn it! TODAY!

– blakk frogg

I went to an extremely attractive female doctor today for my annual checkup. She told me that I had to quit masturbating.

I asked why.

She said, “Because I am trying to examine you.”

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A new Army Captain was assigned to an outfit in a remote post in the African desert.

During his first inspection of the outfit, he noticed a camel hitched up behind the mess tent. He asks the Sergeant why the camel is kept there.

The nervous sergeant said, “Well sir, as you know, there are 250 men here on the post, and no women. And sir, sometimes the men have ‘urges’. That’s why we have the camel.”

The Captain says, “I can’t say that I condone this, but I understand about ‘urges’, so the camel can stay.”

About a month later, the Captain starts having his own urges. Crazy with passion, he asks the Sergeant to bring the camel to his tent. Putting a ladder behind the camel, the Captain stands on the ladder, pulls his pants down and has wild, insane sex with the camel.

When he’s done, he asks the Sergeant, “Is that how the men do it?”

“No, not really, sir. They usually just ride the camel into town where the girls are.”

My girlfriend was in labor with our first child. She was shouting out, “Get this out of me? Give me the drugs.”

She looked at me and said, “You did this to me you bastard!”

I casually replied, “If you would care to remember, I wanted to stick it up your butt… and you said, ‘No, it’ll be too painful.’

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The baby was coming way too fast so the paramedics were called. To make it worse, when they arrived, there was a power outage. The paramedics asked the four year old sister to hold the flashlight for them.

Despite the difficulties, all went well and the mother delivered a baby boy. The paramedic smacked him on the behind and he began to cry.

Looking over at the wide eyed little girl, the paramedic asked her what she thought about what she had just witnessed. She said, “That naughty boy should have never crawled in there. Spank him again!”

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