Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

Manuel and Pedro worked together and both were laid off, so they went to the unemployment office.

When asked his occupation, Manuel answered, “Panty Stitcher. I sew da elastic onto ladies’ cotton panties.”

The clerk looked up Panty Stitcher. Finding it classified as “unskilled labor”, she gave him $300 a week unemployment pay.

Pedro was asked his occupation. “Diesel Fitter”, he replied. Since diesel fitter was a skilled job, the clerk gave Pedro $600 a week.

When Manuel found out he was furious. He stormed back into the office to find out why his friend and co-worker was collecting double his pay.

The clerk explained,”Panty stitchers are unskilled and diesel fitters are skilled labor.”

“What skill?” yelled Manuel. “I sew the elastic on da’ panties, Pedro puts dem over his head and says, “Yeah, diesel fitter.”

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A scam is being pulled, mainly on older men.

What happens is that when you stop for a red light, a young nude woman comes up and pretends to be washing your windshield. While she is doing this, another person opens your back door and steals anything in the car.

They are very good at this: They got me 7 times Friday and 5 times Saturday.

I wasn’t able to find them on Sunday.

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Two whales are swimming along in the ocean when they spot a ship above the water…

“This is the ship that killed my mother”, says the whale to his wife. “Let’s go turn their boat over. We’ll get under the boat and blow real hard…”

OK, the wife agrees and they blow real hard, causing the ship to capsize and there are a lot of sailors in the water, yelling, screaming and swimming…

“Actually, it’s the people on the ship that killed my mother” says Mr. Whale…”Let’s go kill the people and eat them…”

“Now, wait a minute” says Mrs. Whale, “I agreed to the blowjob, but I am NOT going to eat the seamen…”

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A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground. He finally gets himself to the doctor. He says, “How bad is it doc? I’m going on my honeymoon next week and my fiance is still a virgin in every way.”

The doc said , “I’ll have to put your penis in a splint to let it heal and keep it straight. It should be okay next week.” So he took four tongue depressors and formed a neat little 4-sided bandage and wired it all together. It was an impressive work of art.

The guy mentions none of this to his girlfriend. They marry and on their honeymoon night in the motel room, she rips open her blouse to reveal a gorgeous set of breasts. This was the first time he ever saw them. She says, “You are the first, no one has ever touched these breasts.”

He pulls down his pants, whips it out and says, “Look at this, it’s still in the CRATE!”

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A professor was giving a lecture on “Involuntary Muscular Contractions” to first year medical students.

Realizing that this was not the most riveting subject, the professor decided to lighten the mood slightly.

He pointed to a young woman in the front row and asked, “Do you know what your asshole is doing while you’re having an orgasm?”

She replied, “He’s probably down at the bar with his friends.”

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Twelve Catholic priests were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to line up in a straight row, totally nude, in a garden while a sexy, beautiful, big breasted, nude model danced before them.

Each priest had a small bell attached to his weenie, and they were told that anyone whose bell rang when she danced in front of them would not be ordained because he had not reached a state of spiritual purity.

The beautiful model danced before the first candidate with no reaction.

She proceeded down the line with the same response from all the priests until she got to the final priest, Carlos. Poor Carlos. As she danced, his bell began to ring so loudly that it flew off, clattering across the ground and laid to rest in nearby foliage.

Embarrassed, Carlos quickly scrambled to where the bell came to rest.

He bent over to pick it up……… and all the other bells started to ring.

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A small zoo in Oklahoma had a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very difficult to handle.

Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in season. To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available.

Thinking about their problem, the Zoo Keeper thought of Bobby Lee Walton, a redneck part-time worker responsible for cleaning the animal cages.

Bobby Lee, like most rednecks, had little sense but possessed ample ability to satisfy a female of any species. The Zoo Keeper thought they might have a solution.

Bobby Lee was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for $500.00? Bobby Lee showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully. The following day, he announced that he would accept their offer, but only under four conditions:

1. “First”, Bobby Lee said, “I ain’t gonna kiss her on the lips.”

The Keeper quickly agreed to this condition.

2. “Second”, he said, “You can’t never tell no one about this.”

The Keeper again readily agreed to this condition.

3. “Third”, Bobby Lee said, “I want all the chil’drun raised as Baptist.”

Once again it was agreed.

4. “And last of all”, Bobby Lee stated, “You gotta give me another week to come up with the $500.00.”

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Hey, you! Read Da’ Blakk Frogg Joke Blog or someone gets a fork in the eye at lunch tomorrow!

So what the hell has the rest of the world read while you surfed through endless pages of barely dressed girls over the past month? So glad you asked because below you will find the most popular blog entries from one of Blakk Frogg’s free humor/sarcasm websites.

(1) Oral Sex, People! Oral Sex!

(2) Definition of the Perfect Woman

(3) SarcasticMySpaceComments.Com’s Most Popular MySpace Comments for September 2007

(4) Adults Only Links Page

(5) Shave That Pussy, Please

(6) Drunk Dialing Rule Book

(7) Why Some College Girls Get Bad Grades

(8) Strange Pussy in the Apartment at 6 AM

(9) Why Big Breasted Women Have Bad Aim

(10) Take the Are You Gay Test For Guys

Got time on your hands instead of a water-based lubricant? Go and laugh your ass off at Da’ Blakk Frogg Blog For those WITH a water, or petrolem-base lubricant on their hands, have you seen Da’ Blakk Frogg Sex Blog yet?

That’s it, time to do laundry…. The pile of clothes on Blakk Frogg’s floor has taken over and he must now reclaim his own bedroom. Pathetic, ain’t he?

– blakk frogg

While browsing through an unnamed personals magazine, for professional reasons, Blakk Frogg came across the following photograph and figured he ought to share it with the rest of you and call it “Pimp Looking for New Hoes”.

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Now if you will please excuse Blakk Frogg has a few ‘professional’ emails to send to somereal hot chicks who go by the screen names of ‘Dances With Dildos’, ‘Ready to Hump’, and ‘Ready to F##k Frogg’.

I was a very happy person. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me …. it was her beautiful younger sister.

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was braless. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got a view of her private parts. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.

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One day the little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn’t overcome.

She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. Well, I was in total shock, and couldn’t say a word. She said, “I’m going upstairs to my bedroom, and! if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me.”

I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled off her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.

Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!

With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, “We are very happy that you have passed our little test…..we couldn’t ask for better man for our daughter. Welcome to our family!!!”

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And the moral of this story is:

Always keep the condoms in your car.

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