Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

Millions of people worldwide searched for this doll over the Holidays last year and, well, Blakk Frogg uncovered the reason WHY no one could find them on store shelves…

There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms. Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 AM.

The next day at 8:45 AM there is a knock at the Personnel Manager’s door. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee… He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule.

The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the 2 men march down to the factory floor. When they get there the line is so backed upthat there are Tickle Me Elmo’s all over the factory floor and they’re really beginning to pile up.

At the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo’s. She has a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles.

The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the little package between Elmo’s legs. The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches Lena.

“I’m sorry,” he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, “but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday….”

“Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles.”

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A young Japanese girl had been taught all her life that when she married she was to please her husband and never upset him.

So the first morning of her honeymoon the young Japanese bride crawled out of bed after making love passionately to her new husband, stooped down to pick up her husband’s clothes, and accidentally let out an enormous fart.

She looked up bashfully, and said, “Aww. So sorry… Excuse please. Front hole so happy, back hole laugh out loud!”

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South Carolina (A.P. Newswire) — Following a string of complaints from residents about unusually large numbers of men cruising up and down the streets of towns located throughout certain parts of South Carolina, State and Local law enforcement agents set out to catch these men and bring them to Justice.

After setting up surveillance to see what draws all these men out, the departments pooled their resources and came up with the perfect plan to catch them. To date, more than 740 men have been arrested thanks to the help of South Carolina’s newest law enforcement officer:

Click Here For A Picture of This Brave Agent in Action

A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day they went to her place and made love all afternoon.

Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM.

The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt. He put on his shoes and drove home.

“Where have you been?” his wife demanded.

“I can’t lie to you,” he replied, “I’m having an affair with my secretary. We had sex all afternoon.”

She looked down at his shoes and said: “You lying bastard! You’ve been playing golf!”

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“In My Bed, Thinking of You…”

As I lay on my bed, thinking about you, I feel this

strong urge to grab you and squeeze you, because I

can’t forget last night. You came to me unexpectedly

during the balmy and calm night, and what happened in

my bed still leaves a tingling sensation in me.

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You appeared from nowhere and shamelessly, without any

reservations, you laid on my naked body…you sensed

my indifference, so you started to bite my body

without any guilt or humiliation, and you drove me

crazy while you sucked me dry.

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Finally I went to sleep. Today when I woke up, you

were gone, I searched for you but to no avail, only

the sheets bore witness to last night’s events.

My body still shows your marks, making it harder to

forget you. Tonight I will remain awake waiting for

you… as soon you appear I will quickly grab you and

won’t let you go, will hold you with all my strength

so you won’t disappear. Won’t rest until l squeeze

your blood out….. you fucking little mosquito.

Blakk Frogg says, “Vanity can lead a man to an ugly truth he’d rather not know.”

A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son.

They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.

The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy.

The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son. He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen. He told his wife: “There’s no way I can be the father of this baby.

Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around behind my back?”

The wife smiled sweetly and replied: “Not this time!”

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Thanks for tuning in to see the top fifteen MySpace Comments on Americas-Best.Com for the month of January 2007! You picked ’em so don’t blame us, damn it!

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Popular MySpace Comments 6 – 10

Blakk Frogg says, “Mortician who take work home is a sick, sick man. Wife should leave him and come to my place.”

A mortician was working late one night. He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a startling discovery. Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever seen!

“I’m sorry Mr. Schwartz,” the mortician commented, “I can’t allow you to be cremated with such an impressive private part. It must be saved for posterity.”

So, he removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase, and took it home.

“I have something to show you won’t believe,” he said to his wife, opening his briefcase.

“My God!” the wife exclaimed, “Schwartz is dead!”

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Blakk Frogg says, “Modern art way too confusing. Thank goodness for old fashioned porn!”

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door.

“Hurry,” she said, “stand in the corner.” She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder. “Don’t move until I tell you,” she said. “Pretend you’re a statue.”

“What’s this?” the husband inquired as he entered the room.

“Oh it’s a statue,” she replied, “the Smiths bought one and I liked it so I got one for us, too.”

No more was said, not even when they went to bed.

Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with a sandwich and a beer. “Here,” he said to the statue, have this. I stood like that for two days at the Smiths and nobody offered me a damned thing.”

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