Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later in the week. Early one morning, I received a call from the doctor’s office to tell me that I had been rescheduled for that morning at 9:30 am.

I had only just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was already around 8:45 am. The trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn’t have any time to spare.

As most women do, I like to take a little extra effort over hygiene when making such visits, but this time I wasn’t going to be able to make the full effort. So, I rushed upstairs, threw off my pajamas, wet the washcloth that was sitting next to the sink, and gave myself a quick wash in that area to make sure I was at least presentable.

I threw the washcloth in the clothes basket, donned some clothes, hopped in the car and raced to my appointment. I was in the waiting room for only a few minutes when I was called in.

Knowing the procedure, as I’m sure you do, I hopped up on the table, looked over at the other side of the room and pretended that I was in Paris or some other place a million miles away.

I was a little surprised when the doctor said, “My, we have made an extra effort this morning, haven’t we?”

I didn’t respond… or even know HOW to respond, so after the appointment, I heaved a sigh of relief and went home. The rest of the day was normal. Some shopping, cleaning, cooking.

After school when my 6 year old daughter was playing, she called out from the bathroom, “Mommy, where’s my washcloth?”

I told her to get another one from the cupboard.

She replied, “No, I need the one that was here by the sink, it had all my glitter and sparkles saved inside it.”

I’m NEVER going back to that doctor ever!

With the economy going downhill so fast, one must consider alternative means of making money to stay afloat, and perhaps just to stay alive.  Since gambling usually doesn’t pay in the end, most states (in the US) frown upon prostitution, and no one likes drug dealers (except drug users). . . there can be only ONE way to make more money:

Simply Frogg, Simply For Fun!

So the next time you see a depressed woman, ask her if her vibrator needs repairing.  Chances are she will say NO and slap the shit out of you, but hey. . .  Find that one in a million girl who’s got a broken dildo at home (or in her purse!) and you’ve got a client!

A little boy goes shopping with his mother and is waiting right outside of the ladies dressing room for his Mom to come out. While waiting the little boy gets bored and just when his Mom comes walking out, she sees her son sliding his hand up a mannequin’s skirt.

“Get your hand out of there!” she shouts. “Don’t you know that women have teeth down there?”

The little boy quickly snatches his hand away and thanks his lucky stars he didn’t get bitten.

For the next ten years, this little boy grows up believing all women have teeth between their legs. When he’s 16, he gets a girlfriend. One night, while her parents are out of town, she invites him over for a little action. After an hour of making out and grinding on the sofa, she says, “You know, you could go a little further if you want.”

“What do you mean?” he asks.

“Well, why don’t you put your hand down there?” she says, pointing to her crotch.

“HELL NO!” he cries, “you’ve got teeth down here!”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” she responds, “there’s no such thing as teeth down there!”

“Yes there are,” he says, “my Mom told me so.”

“No there aren’t,” she insists. “Here, look for yourself.” With that, she pulls down her pants and gives him a little peek.

“No I’m sorry” he says. “My Mom already told me that ALL women have teeth down there.”

“Oh for crying out loud!” she cries. She whips off her panties, throws her legs behind her head and says, “LOOK, I DON’T have any teeth down there.”

The boy takes a good long look and replies, “Well, after seeing the condition of those gums, I’m not surprised!”

This is a short story written by a grandson who had a very special relationship with his Grandpa. Many of us unfortunately were born after our own Grandpas had passed on and never had the opportunity to enjoy moments like this. The grandson writes…

I hope this will again confirm that the most important information in your life won’t come from a teacher, the library or the Internet. It comes from a mentor, and always on a very personal level.

My long-passed grandfather’s birthday is coming up, and for me it is a time to reminisce. We used to take long walks and drives together. He would make special trips to pick me up so I could spend weekends with him.

I was young when he died. If he were living today and sharing his pearls of wisdom, I’d be a better man. Those gems were all well and good, but the one I remember best came from him when I was only 12.

We were sitting in a park, watching children with their mothers enjoying a beautiful spring day. He told me that one day, I’d find a woman and start my own family. Then came the jewel in the crown of grandfatherly advice when he said, “And be sure you marry a woman with small hands.”

“Why should I do that, Grandpa?” I asked.

“It makes your pecker look bigger.”

It kinda brings a tear to your eye, doesn’t it?

That’s right.  You heard it correctly.  Doggystyle.  Real rough, too. . . and with lots of hair pulling!

Sarcastic MySpace Comments

OK, folks… Everyone know Blakk Frogg likes a good joke about tampons and so forth, but what the HELL was this guy thinking?

Nothing screams “great in bed” more than dressing up in a giant maxipad and swinging tampon nunchucks dipped in ketchup at a girl. Seriously.

1. I’ll swallow it all… I love the taste.

2. Are you sure you’ve had enough to drink?

3. I’m bored. Let’s shave my pussy!

4. Shouldn’t you be down at the bar with your buddies?

5. That was a great fart! Do another one!

25 Things a Woman COULD Say: Page 1
25 Things a Woman COULD Say: Page 2
25 Things a Woman COULD Say: Page 3
25 Things a Woman COULD Say: Page 4
25 Things a Woman COULD Say: Page 5

A ton of you have asked Blakk Frogg for a list of the most popular Americas Best MySpace Comments for the month of March 2008 so far. . . So that’s what he decided to post right now.  Enjoy!

Most Popular Americas Best MySpace Comments

Most Popular Americas Best MySpace Comments

Most Popular Americas Best MySpace Comments

Most Popular Americas Best MySpace Comments

Most Popular Americas Best MySpace Comments

Popular MySpace Comments Page 2

Popular MySpace Comments Page 3

Recently a man had to go to the hospital to have his wedding ring cut off from his penis after his mistress found the ring in his pants pocket and got so mad at him that she stuck it ‘on him’ while he was asleep.

I don’t know what’s worse:

1) having your mistress find out you’re married.2) explaining to your wife how your wedding ring got on your penis.

3) Or finding out your penis fits through your wedding ring.

Words from Blakk Frogg:

Now what kind of host would leave you without some sort of pictures to highlight that small penis story?

Sarcastic MySpace Comments Dot Com

Grandma and Grandpa were watching a healing service on the television. The evangelist called to all who wanted to be healed to go to their television set, place one hand on the TV and the other hand on the body part where they wanted to be healed.

Grandma got up and slowly hobbled to the television set, placed her right hand on the set and her left hand on her arthritic shoulder that was causing her to have great pain.

Then Grandpa got up, went to the TV, placed his right hand on the set and his left hand on his crotch.

Grandma scowled at him and said, “I guess you just don’t get it. The purpose of doing this is to heal the sick, not raise the dead.”