Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table.

Husband gets up in a rage and Says, “And you are no good in bed either,” And storms out of the house.

After sometime, he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and rings her up. She comes to the Phone after many rings, and the irritated husband Says, “What took you so long to answer the phone?”

She says, “I was in bed.”

“In bed this early? Doing what?”

She calmly replied, “Getting a second opinion!”

A man has six children and is very proud of his Achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife, “Mother of Six” in spite of her Objections.

One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it’s time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his Voice, “Shall we go home ‘Mother of Six?’

His wife, irritated by her husband’s lack of discretion, shouts right back, “Anytime you’re ready, Father of Four.”

The Reverend John Fluff was the pastor of a small town in Ireland.

One day he was walking down the high street, when he noticed a young lady from his congregation sitting in a pub drinking beer. The Reverend wasn’t happy. He walked through the open door of the pub and sat down next to the young woman.

“Miss Fitzgerald”, he said sternly. “This is no place for a member of my congregation. Why don’t you let me take you home?

“Sure”, she said with a slur, obviously very drunk. When Miss Fitzgerald stood up from the bar she began to weave back and forth.

The Reverend realizing that she’d had far too much to drink grabbed her arms to steady her. As he did, they both lost their balance and tumbled to the floor.

After rolling around on the floor for a minute or two, the Reverend somehow wound up on top of Miss Fitzgerald, her skirt hiked up to her waist revealing she had no undies on.

The pub landlord looked over and said, “Aye, mate, we won’t have any of that sort carrying on in this here pub.”

The embarrassed reverend looked up at the landlord and said, “But sir, ya don’t understand, I’m Pastor Fluff.”

The landlord nodded and said, “Oh well, if ye’re that far in lad, ya’ might just as well finish the job.”

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A young couple gets married, and the groom asks his bride if he can have a dresser drawer of his own that she will never open. The bride agrees.

After 30 years of marriage, she notices that his drawer has been left open. She peeks inside and sees 3 golf balls and $1,000.

She confronts her husband and asks for an explanation. He explains “Every time I was unfaithful to you, I put a golf ball in the drawer.”

She figures 3 times in 30 years isn’t bad and asks “But what about the $1,000?”

He replied, “Whenever I got a dozen golf balls, I sold them”

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John O’Reilly hoisted his beer and said, “Here’s to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!”

That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!

He went home and told his wife, Mary, “I won the prize for the Best toast of the night”

She said, “Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?”

John said,” Here’s to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife.”

“Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!” Mary said.

The next day, Mary ran into one of John’s drinking buddies on the street corner.

The man chuckled leeringly and said, “John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary.”

She said, “Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he’s only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come.”

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Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods.

A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch? The birch says he cannot tell.

Just then a woodpecker lands on the little sapling. The birch says, Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?

The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree. He replies, It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch. It is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever put my pecker in.

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A guy sticks his head in the barber shop and asks, “How long before I can get a haircut?” The barber looks around the shop and says, “About two hours.” The guy leaves.

A few days later, the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks, “How long before I get a haircut?” The barber looks around the shop full of customers and says, “About two hours.” The guy leaves.

A week later, the same guy sticks his head in the shop and asks, “How long before I can get a haircut?” The barber looks around the shop an says, “About an hour and half.” The guy leaves.

The barber looks over at a friend in the shop and says, “Hey Bill, follow that guy and see where he goes.”

In a little while, Bill comes back into the shop laughing hysterically.

The barber asks, “Bill, where did he go when he left here?”

Bill looked up and said, “To your house.”

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Sexual and Adult MySpace Comments

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Sexual and Adult MySpace Comments

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A group of guys and one girl are sitting together at a ball game. During the game the guys notice that the girl knows just as much about the game as they do, and they’re really impressed.

After the game they ask her, “How is it that you know so much about baseball?”

She says, “Well, I used to be a guy and got a sex change.”

The guys are amazed… and very curious about the process. “What was the most painful part of the process? Was it when they cut off your penis?”

“That was very painful, but was not the most painful part.”

“Was it when they cut off your balls?”

“That was very painful, but that also was not the most painful part.”

“Well then what WAS the most painful part?”

“The part that hurt the most was when they… cut my salary in half!”

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

Amy, a blonde city girl, marries a Colorado rancher.

One morning, on his way out to check on the cows, the rancher says to Amy, “The insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows today. I drove a nail into the 2 by 4 just above the cow’s stall in the barn. You show him where the cow is when he gets here, OK?” So then the rancher leaves for the fields.

After a while, the artificial insemination man arrives and knocks on the front door. Amy takes him down to the barn. They walk along the row of cows and when she sees the nail, she tells him, “This is the one… right here.”

Terribly impressed by what he seemed to think just might be another ditzy blonde, the man asks, “Tell me lady, how did you know this is the cow to be bred?”

“That’s simple. By the nail over its stall,” Amy explains very confidently.

Then the man asks, “What’s the nail for?”

She turns and walks away, and with complete confidence, says, “I guess it’s to hang your pants on.”