Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

Q. What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?

A. 45 minutes.

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A. Breasts don’t have eyes.

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A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare

A . They don’t have balls to scratch!

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Q. How do you circumcise a hillbilly?

A. Kick his sister in the jaw.

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A. The grip.

A. 45 pounds.

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Q. What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common?

A. Their balls are just for decoration.

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Q.What is the difference between ‘ooooooh’and ‘aaaaaaah’?

A. About three inches.

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Q. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?

A. It’s not hard.

An elderly widow and widower were dating for about five years. The man finally decided to ask her to marry.

She immediately said “yes”.

The next morning when he awoke, he couldn’t remember what her answer was! “Was she happy? I think so, wait, no, she looked at me funny…”

After about an hour of trying to remember to no avail he got on the telephone and gave her a call. Embarrassed, he admitted that he didn’t remember her answer to the marriage proposal.

“Oh”, she said, “I’m so glad you called. I remembered saying ‘yes’ to someone, but I couldn’t remember who it was.”

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Q.Why is divorce so expensive?

A. Because it’s worth it!

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A. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

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A. They both like a tight seal.

Q. What’s the definition of macho?

A. Jogging home from your vasectomy.

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A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball

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A. The y spray paint X’s on the back of the sheep that kick!

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Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?

A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

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A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.

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A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.

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A man was called in for an audit by the IRS. So, he asked his accountant for advice on what to wear.

“Wear your worst clothing and an old pair of shoes. Let them think you are a pauper,” the accountant replied.

Then he asked his lawyer the same question, but got the opposite advice: “Don’t let them intimidate you. Wear your best suit and an expensive tie.”

Confused, the man went to his Minister, told him of the conflicting advice, and asked him what he should do.

“Let me tell you a story,” replied the Minister. “A woman, about to be married, asked her mother what to wear on her wedding night. ‘Wear a heavy, long, flannel nightgown that goes right up to your neck and wool socks.’ But when she asked her best friend, she got conflicting advice: “Wear your most sexy negligee, with a V-neck right down to your navel.'”

The man protested: “But Reverend, what does all this have to do with my problem with the IRS?”

“It doesn’t matter what you wear; you’re going to get screwed.”

Three third graders from Kentucky (an Irish kid, an Italian Kid and a Redneck kid) are on the play ground at recess.

The Irish kid suggests that they play a new game. “Let’s see who has the largest weenie,” he says. “Okay.” They all agree.

The Italian kid pulls down his zipper and whips it out.

“That’s nothing,” says the Irish kid. He whips his out and proudly shows that his is at least an inch longer.

Not to be outdone, the Redneck kid whips his out. It is by far not only the biggest, but the fattest.

That night, eating dinner at home, the Redneck kid’s mother asks him what he did at school today.

“Oh, we worked on a science project, had a math test and read out loud from a new book and then during recess, my friends and I played a new game called “Let’s see who has the largest weenie.”

“What kind of game is that, honey?” asks the mother.

“Well, me, Anthony and Patrick each pulled out our weenies and I had the biggest! The other kids say it’s because I’m a Redneck. Is that true, Mom?”

Mom replies, “No, Honey. It’s because you’re twenty-one.”

One day an Indian boy asked his father why they have such long names.

The dad answers, “Well, son, whenever an Indian baby is born the father would go outside and name the baby after the first thing he sees…”

Then, after a few moments of silent reflection, the father asks, “Why do you ask, Two Dogs Fucking?”