Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

Archive for the ‘Sarcastic’ Category

06 Apr, 2008

Grandpa’s Great Advice

Posted by: admin In: Adult Humor|Sarcastic|Sex Joke

This is a short story written by a grandson who had a very special relationship with his Grandpa. Many of us unfortunately were born after our own Grandpas had passed on and never had the opportunity to enjoy moments like this. The grandson writes…

I hope this will again confirm that the most important information in your life won’t come from a teacher, the library or the Internet. It comes from a mentor, and always on a very personal level.

My long-passed grandfather’s birthday is coming up, and for me it is a time to reminisce. We used to take long walks and drives together. He would make special trips to pick me up so I could spend weekends with him.

I was young when he died. If he were living today and sharing his pearls of wisdom, I’d be a better man. Those gems were all well and good, but the one I remember best came from him when I was only 12.

We were sitting in a park, watching children with their mothers enjoying a beautiful spring day. He told me that one day, I’d find a woman and start my own family. Then came the jewel in the crown of grandfatherly advice when he said, “And be sure you marry a woman with small hands.”

“Why should I do that, Grandpa?” I asked.

“It makes your pecker look bigger.”

It kinda brings a tear to your eye, doesn’t it?

Toothpaste elicits no foul thoughts from most people… until now:

toothpaste sex scene

So the next time you go to scrape the filth off your choppers, just remember what your toothpaste is up to while you’re not looking…

Want to see more things that will haunt your dreams? Check out the latest additions to Americas Best MySpace Comments!

OK, folks… Everyone know Blakk Frogg likes a good joke about tampons and so forth, but what the HELL was this guy thinking?

tampon ninja

Nothing screams “great in bed” more than dressing up in a giant maxipad and swinging tampon nunchucks dipped in ketchup at a girl. Seriously.

1. I’ll swallow it all… I love the taste.

2. Are you sure you’ve had enough to drink?

3. I’m bored. Let’s shave my pussy!

4. Shouldn’t you be down at the bar with your buddies?

5. That was a great fart! Do another one!

25 Things a Woman COULD Say: Page 1
25 Things a Woman COULD Say: Page 2
25 Things a Woman COULD Say: Page 3
25 Things a Woman COULD Say: Page 4
25 Things a Woman COULD Say: Page 5

04 Apr, 2008

Daughter Says the Blessing

Posted by: admin In: Funny Jokes|Humor|Jokes|Sarcastic

A family was having some people to dinner. At the table, the mother turned to her six-year-old daughter and said, “Dear, would you like to say the blessing?”

“I wouldn’t know what to say,” replied the little girl, shyly.

“Just say what you hear Mommy say, sweetie,” the woman said.

Her daughter took a deep breath, bowed her head, and solemnly said, “Dear Lord, why the hell did I invite all these people to dinner!?!”


Americas Best MySpace Random Comments

03 Apr, 2008

Rules for Redneck Living

Posted by: admin In: Funny Jokes|Humor|Jokes|Redneck|Sarcastic

GENERAL RULES

1. Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them.

2. It’s considered poor taste to take a cooler to church.

3. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets.

4. Even if you’re certain that you are included in the will, it is still considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to the funeral home.


Americas Best MySpace Redneck Comments

DINING OUT

1. Avoid throwing bones and food scraps on the floor as the restaurant may not have dogs.


Americas Best MySpace Redneck Comments

ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME

1. A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist.

2. Do not allow the dog to eat at the table no matter how good his manners are.


Americas Best MySpace Redneck Comments

PERSONAL HYGIENE

1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be done in private using one’s OWN truck keys.

2. Proper use of toiletries can forestall bathing for several days. However, if you live alone….. Deodorant is a waste of good money.

Next Rules for Redneck Living Page


Americas Best MySpace Redneck Comments

03 Apr, 2008

A Really Funny Cat Joke

Posted by: admin In: Funny Jokes|Humor|Jokes|Sarcastic

You Don’t Have To Own A Cat To Appreciate This One!

We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Years Eve Party.

We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard.

We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and we opened the front door to leave the house. The cat we put out in the yard, scoots back into the house.

We didn’t want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird.

My wife goes out to the taxi, while I went inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, with me in hot pursuit.

Waiting in the cab, my wife doesn’t want the driver to know that the house will be empty for the night. So, she explains to the taxi driver that I will be out soon, “He’s just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother.”

A few minutes later I get into the cab. “Sorry I took so long,” I said, as we drove away. “That stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. Had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck. Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked! I hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw her out into the backyard!”

The cab driver hit a parked car…

02 Apr, 2008

Washington Post Neologisms

Posted by: admin In: Funny Jokes|Humor|Jokes|Sarcastic

Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

And the winners are:

1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.

9 Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall. The owner asks the clerk, “What’s with that guy over there by the wall?”

The clerk says, “Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn’t find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative.”

The owner says, “You idiot! You can’t treat a cough with laxatives!”

The clerk says, “Oh yeah? Look at him… He’s afraid to cough!”


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About This Site


First of all, you will like this site because it has lots of sarcasm, plenty of humor, and a healthy dose of everything your dear mommy warned you not touch when taking a shower at the local athletic club.


  • admin: How can people not like this photo? Seriously. These girls have WONDERFUL personalities that just leap out of their shirts, er, eyes. Yes. Blakk Fr
  • admin: In other news, the children ingested so much of the drug that it took their parents a solid two weeks to catch the little bastards and beat their behi
  • Intimate Touch Tuesday | MySpace Comments & Jokes: [...] you survived the horror called Monday and showed back up to face… Tuesday. Good for you! As a reward for your devotion and effort, [...]