Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

A TRUE STORY FROM…..”THE HOUSTON NEWSPAPER”

IN HOUSTON,TEXAS MARCH ON 5th, 2009

Last Thursday Night Around Midnight, A Woman From Houston , Texas Was Arrested, Jailed, And Charged With Manslaughter for Shooting A Man 6 Times In The Back As He Was Running Away With Her Purse.

The Following Monday Morning, The Woman Was Called In FrontOf The Arraignment Judge, Sworn In, And Asked To Explain Her Actions.

The Woman Replied, “I Was Standing At The Corner Bus Stop For About 15 Minutes, Waiting For The Bus To Take Me Home After Work. I Am A Waitress At A Local Cafe…

I Was There Alone, So I Had My Right Hand On My Pistol, That Was In My Purse, That Was Hung Over My Left Shoulder.

All Of A Sudden I Was Being Spun Around Hard To My Left. As I Caught My Balance, I Saw A Man Running Away From Me With My Purse.

I Looked Down At My Right Hand And I Saw That My Fingers Were Wrapped Tightly Around My Pistol. The Next Thing I Remember Is Saying Out Loud, ” No Way Punk! You’re Not Stealing My Pay Check And Tips.”

I Raised My Right Hand, Pointed My Pistol At The Man Running Away From Me With My Purse, And Squeezed The Trigger Of My Pistol 6 Times!

When Asked By The Arraignment Judge, “Why Did You Shoot The Man 6 Times?

The Woman Replied Under Oath, “Because, When I Pulled The Trigger Of My Pistol The 7th Time, It Only Went Click.”

The Woman Was Acquitted Of All Charges, And She Was Back At Work At The Cafe, The Next Day!

Now that’s Gun Control….

Sorry, but we HAD to move the content on this page over to our Americas Best MySpace Comments & Jokes web site.

We apologize for any inconvenience having to ‘click’ one extra time may cause.

If you came here looking for silly, sexy, sarcastic and sometimes sick pictures and graphics to use on blogs, profiles, bulletin boards and other places, well, you came on the right day ‘cuz today we post the most popular pictures and graphics on AmericasBestMySpace.Com for the month of May 2009!

<a href="http://www.Americas-Best.com/myspace-comments-blog/" style="text-decoration: none;"><img src="http://americasbestmyspace.com/myspace-comments/pics_beer-sierra-sarcastic.jpg" border="1" alt="Americas Best MySpace Comments Blog -- Free MySpace Comments"><br /><strong>Visit Americas-Best.Com for…</strong></a><br /><em>Funny/Sexy/Sarcastic/Stupid MySpace Comments</em>

A brand of beer known as Sierra Nevada captured the heart, mind, body and soul of Blakk Frogg several years ago. For those of you old enough to drink, you ought to check out their line of beers — if you like good beer. Otherwise stick with your fruity drinks and cheap, moose piss beers.

<a href="http://www.Americas-Best.com/myspace-comments-blog/" style="text-decoration: none;"><img src="http://americasbestmyspace.com/myspace-comments/pics_angry-wife.jpg" border="1" alt="Americas Best MySpace Comments Blog -- Free MySpace Comments"><br /><strong>Visit Americas-Best.Com for…</strong></a><br /><em>Funny/Sexy/Sarcastic/Stupid MySpace Comments</em>

Every guy that has ever pissed off his significant other knows the feelings shown in the picture above. Some OTHER guys may LIKE the idea of barbed wire in the bedroom, but we dare not discuss that on this site.

<a href="http://www.Americas-Best.com/myspace-comments-blog/" style="text-decoration: none;"><img src="http://americasbestmyspace.com/myspace-comments/pics_beers-motto.jpg" border="1" alt="Americas Best MySpace Comments Blog -- Free MySpace Comments"><br /><strong>Visit Americas-Best.Com for…</strong></a><br /><em>Funny/Sexy/Sarcastic/Stupid MySpace Comments</em>

Drinking everyday does not make Blakk Frogg an alcoholic. Feeling like a burlap sack filled with bleeding buttholes because he DIDN’T drink that day might, though. lol.

<a href="http://www.Americas-Best.com/myspace-comments-blog/" style="text-decoration: none;"><img src="http://americasbestmyspace.com/myspace-comments/pics_animated-drinking-heineken.gif" border="1" alt="Americas Best MySpace Comments Blog -- Free MySpace Comments"><br /><strong>Visit Americas-Best.Com for…</strong></a><br /><em>Funny/Sexy/Sarcastic/Stupid MySpace Comments</em>

Looks like a lot of people had beer on the brain last month. Guzzling a Heineken always sounds like a good idea. Guzzle-guzzle buurrrrrrrp!

<a href="http://www.Americas-Best.com/myspace-comments-blog/" style="text-decoration: none;"><img src="http://americasbestmyspace.com/myspace-comments/pics_anim-sexy-nuts-kick.gif" border="1" alt="Americas Best MySpace Comments Blog -- Free MySpace Comments"><br /><strong>Visit Americas-Best.Com for…</strong></a><br /><em>Funny/Sexy/Sarcastic/Stupid MySpace Comments</em>

Wow. Great way to finish out last month’s most popular picture comments — with a swift kick in the balls. Blakk Frogg cringes each time he sees this image.

Now you would have to possess the IQ of a snail (no offense to any snails reading this….) to think that drinking beer will save water. Uh, hello? Last we checked, you could not MAKE beer w/o water. Come to think of it, beer’s main ingredient IS water!

Having said all that, we must possess the IQ of a snail ‘cuz we think drinking beer makes more sense than drinking water.

<a href="http://www.Americas-Best.com/myspace-comments-blog/" style="text-decoration: none;"><img src="http://www.americasbestmyspace.com/myspace-comments/pics_beer-save-waterand-drink-beer.gif" width="261" height="137" border="1" alt="Americas Best MySpace Comments Blog -- Free MySpace Comments"><br /><strong>Visit Americas-Best.Com for…</strong></a><br /><em>Funny/Sexy/Sarcastic/Stupid MySpace Comments</em>

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses.

She started her class by saying, “Everyone who thinks they’re stupid, stand up!”

After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up.

The teacher said, “Do you think you’re stupid, Little Johnny?”

“No, ma’am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!”

Once again we find ourselves poised and ready to take aim at blondes. Why? Because the Simply Frogg Crew received more blonde jokes in our email this morning! Sheesh. Must we explain everything to you?!?!?

• Blonde Joke Index
• First Blonde Joke
• Second Blonde Joke
• Third Blonde Joke
• Fourth Blonde Joke
• Fifth Blonde Joke
• Sixth Blonde Joke
• Seventh Blonde Joke

click picture to enlarge
more celebrity glamour girls

Oh, and just to keep things interesting, we’ll add a blonde girl’s picture to each page… in case some of you forgot what they look like! 😛

Sister Mary, who worked for a home health agency, was out making her rounds visiting homebound patients when she ran out of gas. As luck would have it, a gas station was just a block away.

She walked to the station to borrow a gas can and buy some gas. The attendant told her that the only gas can he owned had been lent out, but she could wait until it was returned.

Since the nun was on the way to see a patient, she decided not to wait and walked back to her car. She looked for something in her car that she could fill with gas and spotted the bedpan she was taking to the patient

Always resourceful, she carried the bedpan to the station, filled it with gas, and carried the full bedpan back to her car.

As she was pouring the gas into her tank, two men watched from across the street. One of them turned to the other and said, “If it starts, I’m turning Catholic.”

Ole vas vorking at the fish plant up nort in Dulut vhen he accidentally cut off all ten of his finkers.

He vent to da emergency room in the Clinik and vhen he got dar da Norsky doctor looked at Ole and said, “Let’s have da finkers and I’ll see vhat I can do.”

Ole said, “I haven’t got da finkers.”

“Vhat do you mean, you hafen’t got da finkers?” he said. “Lord – it’s 2007 and Ive’s got microsurgery and all kinds of incredible techniques. I could hafe put dem back on and made you like new! Vhy didn’t you brink da finkers?”

Ole says…….. “How da fock vas I suppose to pick dem up?”

The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.

The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered in another race and it won again.

The local paper read:

PASTOR’S ASS OUT FRONT.

The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in any more races.

The next day the local paper headline read:

BISHOP SCRATCHES THE PASTOR’S ASS.

This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey.

The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.

The local paper, hearing of the news,

Posted the following headline:

NUN HAS THE BEST ASS IN TOWN.

The Bishop fainted.

He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey so she sold it to a farmer for $10.

The next day the headlines read:

NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.

This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the high plains where it could run free.

The next day the headlines read:

NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.

Alas … The Bishop was buried the next day.

MORAL OF THE STORY?

Being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery and even shorten your life.

So, be yourself and enjoy life.

Stop worrying about everyone else’s ass and you’ll live longer.

A business man got on an elevator. When he entered, there was a blonde already inside who greeted him with a bright, “T-G-I-F.”

He smiled at her and replied, “S-H-I-T.”

She looked puzzled, and repeated, “T-G-I-F,” more slowly.

He again answered, “S-H-I-T.”

The blonde was trying to keep it friendly, so, she smiled her biggest smile and said as sweetly as possibly, “T-G-I-F.”

The man smiled back to her and once again, “S-H-I-T.”

The exasperated blonde finally decided to explain, “‘T-G-I-F’ means ‘Thank Goodness It’s Friday.’ Get it duuhhh?”

The man answered, “‘S-H-I-T’ means “Sorry, Honey, It’s Thursday.”