In the past you have read how we save precious seconds in the morning by preparing bacon and other breakfast treats the night before. What you have NOT yet seen, though, may shock you.
Sometimes we get creative with the way in which we store the pre-cooked breakfast treats. Note: This usually happens after a long night of drinking… right before we head off to bed.
Judge us by our love of bacon and all its yummy friends and not by our art skills, please!
While the bacon does rule our Universe, and all neighboring Universes as well, sometimes people go a little too far with their bacon worship practices… and use bacon in inappropriate ways.
No, we don’t mean some sicko has locked himself in a room with a stack of Playboy or Hustler magazines and 5 pounds of raw bacon. We DO mean that some people add bacon to foods that, in our opinion, ought to have remained bacon-less.
As an example, some creative bastards apparently got stoned one day and blended up a batch of bacon flavored ice cream.
We say, “Hooray” for the presence of bacon, of course… but we really don’t feel all that good about the idea of mixing bacon with our ice cream.
Actually, we feel a bit nauseous right now.
04 Dec, 2009
Posted by: admin In: Funny Jokes|Humor|Jokes|Sarcastic
DEA officer stops at a ranch in Texas and talks with an old rancher. He tells the rancher, “I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs..”
The rancher says, “Okay, but do not go in that field over there,” as he points out the location.
The DEA officer verbally explodes saying, ” Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me.” Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removes his badge and proudly displays it to the rancher. “See this badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish….. On any land. No questions asked or answers given. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand? ”
The rancher nods politely, apologizes, and goes about his chores.
A short time later, the old rancher hears loud screams and sees the DEA officer running for his life chased by the rancher’s big Santa Gertrudis bull.
With every step the bull is gaining ground on the officer, and it seems likely that he’ll get gored before he reaches safety. The officer is clearly terrified. The rancher throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs…..
“Your badge! Show him your BADGE!”
27 Nov, 2009
Posted by: admin In: Blakk Frogg Speaks|Funny Pictures|Humor|MySpace Comments|Sarcastic
Sporting events have always drawn large crowds and with so many events and types of sports to choose from, some of the slower sports have adopted the policy of having Crowd Participation events where fans in the stands get to interact up close and personal with some of their favorite, and least favorite, athletic personalities. See below for an example of such an event.
Note: The player suffered only minor injury from the overzealous fan’s punch. The fan, on the other hand, spent 3 days in intensive care after getting rushed to the emergency romm for massive internal bleeding caused by a splintered Louisville Slugger getting rammed fast, hard and deep into his rectal cavity. Although the lacerations and abrasions did not threaten the fan’s life directly and cause the extended stay, the fan’s newly discovered allergy to pine tar did.
26 Nov, 2009
Posted by: admin In: Adult Humor|Blakk Frogg Speaks|Funny Pictures|Humor|Sarcastic|Sex Joke
The infamous Blakk Frogg has always warned people to watch what they eat… because one never knows when a friend, or foe, may have “slipped a little green, inside their spaghetti” (from Biz Markie’s Pickin’ Boogers Song).
Now, however, thanks to the folks responsible for Americas Best MySpace Comments, the infamous Blakk Frogg also suggests that people also watch WHERE they eat. See below for details:
The above image raises questions, oh yes it does:
1) Is there a Mrs. Tube Steak wandering the streets alone, desperate for a set of buns to get between before getting smothered with the special meat sauce?
2) What the hell’s IN the special meat sauce?
Now that Blakk Frogg’s Sarcasm has most likely ruined your ability to have lunch, he, too, will now go and puke up his breakfast.
Hungry for a really nice chicken sandwich w/ bacon? Cool! You came to the right place! Below you will see everything you need to assemble a chicken sandwich w/ bacon that will knock your grandmother’s socks off!
We did not include bread in that photo because we don’t CARE about bread at our house. We have some and we eat it but we certainly don’t care about it for you see, in our world ONLY MEAT MATTERS!
We make exceptions for things like cheese because it comes from meat and pasta sauce because it usually shows up in a dish that contains… meat.
In the next photo, though, we included bread… but only because it has cheese and pasta sauce on it!
These sandwiches tasted GOOD. End of story.
25 Nov, 2009
Posted by: admin In: Blakk Frogg Speaks|Crime|Funny Pictures|Gross|Humor|Sarcastic
In a strange and unusual series of events, Blakk Frogg came across thye carcass of a world-renowned animal actor named ‘Stuart Little’ last night. While Blakk Frogg refuses to say WHY he visited an area of The City known for prostitution, gambling drugs and free wireless internet… the fact remains that Stuart Little has, in fact, passed on. View pic below for details:
Yeah, sure,that looks like nothing like Stuart Little. So what. The title got you to click the link, right? 😛
Oh, you filthy-minded bacon lovers! I bet you thought you would see something DIRTY when you clicked the link and got to this page! Ha ha.
Black Pepper Bacon, Plumrose Premium Bacon and… You!
Well who doesn’t get all excited when they think about bacon and s-e-x, right? If the thought of getting into it with two hot, lean, salty types of bacon doesn’t get your motor running, you should seek professional help!
Here… Let our Bacon Nurses show you to your room…
We hope you enjoy the happy ending bacon massage! Ha ha…
Like serial killers trying to relive the moment of their last kill, we have returned to the scene of the crime… and brought with us some black pepper coated bacon for the ride! So, so tasty!
The black pepper coated bacon that captured the attention of our tastebuds comes from WalMart… and it comes in 24 ounce packages instead of 12 or 16 ounce packages like most other brands.
After doing a little math, and comparison shopping, we discovered that the per ounce cost for the pepper coated bacon exceeds the per ounce costs of ‘regular’ bacon by only a few pennies and that it does not come anywhere near the (inflated!) per ounce costs of some ‘premium’ brands of bacon.
Bacon that looks great, smells great, cooks great, tastes great… and doesn’t break the bank. How can any rational bacon-loving person not love THAT?
Ever get shot at… by bacon? We have. Not so much with this kind of bacon, though. Yeah, sure, it takes a few cheap shots at you like ALL bacon does when it cooks, but at least THIS type of bacon has yet to put bacon grease stains two feet the wall behind the stove like several other types have.
Now substitute your face for the wall. Yes. Bacon grease can and will go after your face from time to time so always keep your guard up when cooking even the finest grade of bacon.
If the site of that bacon does not make you start drooling, you really ought to check your pulse. Seriously.
Now if you will please excuse us, we have to go and get us some bacon! All this talk about bacon has made us HUNGRY!
The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.
And the winners are:
1. Coffee, (n.) the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted, (adj.) appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3. Abdicate, (v.) to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade, (v.) to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-Nilly, (adj.) impotent.
6. Negligent, (adj.) absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
7. Lymph, (v.) to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle, (n.) olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence, (n.) emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash, (n.) a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle, (n.) a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude, (n.) the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists..
13. Pokemon, (n.) a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster, (n.) a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism, (n.) the belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent, (n.) an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
