A boss was complaining in a staff meeting the other day that he wasn’t getting any respect.
Later that morning he went to a local sign shop and bought a small sign that read, “I’m the Boss”. He then taped it to his office door.
Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said…
“Your wife called. She wants her sign back!”
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30 Dec, 2009
Posted by: admin In: Blakk Frogg Speaks|Sarcastic
Consumer interest in the 79.9% credit card called ‘phenomenal’. Blakk frogg calls it STUPID, OUTRAGEOUS, APPALLING and DISGRACEFUL.
Read the article: ‘Phenomenal’ Interest in Credit Card w/ 79.9% Rate
Blakk Frogg feels certain that somewhere on the application it has a mandatory checkbox labeled, “Check this box if you have read and fully understand the Terms of this Agreement. You must check this box to receive Approval. Please bend over.”
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While many of you probably expect Blakk Frogg to write about how he pays for everything in cash and cut up all his credit cards 10 years ago… Ha! Fat chance of THAT!
Your friend Blakk Frogg got sucked into the depths of credit card debt not once, but TWICE and STILL has ridiculous payments to make each month. Life’s unexpected events (such as losing one’s job unexpectedly a few times) can really screw up a person’s financial plans, ya’ know?
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So why did Blakk Frogg decide to write about the credit card with a staggering and downright shameful 79.9% interest rate? Simple: The fact that some Americans, roughly 2% of the people who received the application by mail according to the article, find themselves in such a bad financial position that getting bent over a barrel and taking the bank’s big stick of abuse deep and hard makes sense… does not make sense.
Blakk Frogg remembers reading about times in American History when Americans thrived on overcoming the odds and succeeding in the face of adversity. At this time, however, he does not see that unfortunate 2% ever beating the odds and reclaiming their financial freedom.
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It sucks that people find themselves in such crappy places in life that they think a credit card with an interest rate rivaling that of a loan shark will work as a lifeline. Too bad the level of desperation in their lives does not allow them to see that the credit card more closely resembles an ever-tightening noose than anything else.
Sorry for wasting your time with this purposeless rant. It just pisses Blakk Frogg off that the same industry guilty of luring unwary citizens to their doom with ridiculous offers of credit and handing out mortgages to people knowing full well the people could not afford the payments has found yet another way to ruin people’s lives.
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Seems to Blakk Frogg that only the American people have to stand accountable for their mistakes in judgment and financially irresponsible ways… while the ‘Fat Cat Banks’ with grossly overpaid Executives just keep getting fatter and fatter off the blood, sweat and endless nights of tears pouring from the worried eyes of hardworking Americans.
Poetic… and pathetic.
29 Dec, 2009
Posted by: admin In: Blakk Frogg Speaks|Bodily Functions|Funny Pictures|Gross|Humor|Sarcastic
It amazes Blakk Frogg that signs like this get posted. Seriously, folks… If you have to look at a sign like this for instructions on how to properly check a baby’s diaper, well, maybe you ought not to have had children in the first place! Does it take a rocket scientist to figure out that jamming your hand down the back of a diaper to check for poop will end badly most times?
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Oh, now you certainly didn’t think Blakk Frogg had nothing more to add to this early morning posting, did you? Shame on you! Blakk Frogg can ALWAYS find a way to expand on something as ridiculous as diaper changing instructions!
Watch this:
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Yep. He got the ‘poo finger’ and wants to wipe it on you!
22 Dec, 2009
Posted by: admin In: Adult Humor|Alcohol|Drinking|Funny Jokes|Gross|Humor|Jokes|Sarcastic|Sex|Sex Joke
A woman and her boyfriend are out having a few drinks. While they’re sitting there having a good time together, she starts talking about this really great new drink. The more she talks about it, the more excited she gets, and starts trying to talk her boyfriend into having one. After a while he gives in and lets her order the drink for him.
The bartender brings the drink and puts the following tems on the bar: A salt shaker, a shot of Baileys, and a shot of lime juice. The boyfriend looks at the items quizzically and the woman explains.
“First you put a bit of the salt on your tongue, next you drink the shot of Baileys and hold it in your mouth, and finally you drink the lime juice.”
So, the boyfriend, trying to go along and please her, goes for it.
He puts the salt on his tongue… salty but OK. He drinks the shot of Baileys… smooth, rich, cool, very pleasant. He thinks… this is OK. Finally he picks up the lime juice and drinks it.
In one second the sharp lime taste hits… At two seconds the Baileys curdles. At three seconds the salty, curdled taste & mucous-like consistency hits. At four seconds it feels as if he has a mouth full of nasty snot.
This triggers his gag reflex, but being manly, and not wanting to disappoint his girlfriend, he swallows the now foul tasting drink. When he finally chokes it down he turns to his girlfriend, and says, “Jesus, what do you call that drink?”
She smiles widely at him and says, “Blow Job Revenge.”
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18 Dec, 2009
Posted by: admin In: Adult Humor|Adult MySpace Comments|Babes|Blakk Frogg Speaks|Funny Jokes|Funny Pictures|Girls for MySpace|Humor|Jokes|Lesbians|Pretty Girls|Redneck|Sarcastic|Sex|Sex Joke
Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas, ya’ self-righteous maggots! Time to celebrate the upcoming Christmas Holiday with some Christmas humor, funny Christmas pics and other stuff that more or less makes fun of Christmas!
Visit MySpace Sarcasm if…
you like peanut butter between your toes
And now we must begin the list of Christmas postings we’ve posted over the years on Da’ Blakk Frogg Joke Blog… so deal with it!
Well there you have it. Blakk Frogg’s official Christmas posting. Now someone PLEASE get him a case of beer! Pronto!
OK, we have had it up to HERE with all these fast food restaurants and chain restaurants filling up the airwaves, billboards and television commercials with their “Five Dollar” and “Dollar Menu” specials. Give it up, guys… Seriously. We get it already.
Have you ever wondered what exactly makes up the components of a “Value Meal”, what grade of ingredients go into a “five dollar meal”, and/or how much better you could eat for just two or three more dollars if you gave your dining plans more though than simply recalling the last overplayed commercial you heard or saw and marching sheep to the slaughter?
Well obviously WE did think about that ‘cuz we wrote a blog posting about it after discovering that in a sleepy little town in Orangeburg, SC we can get a sandwich that looks and tastes far better than…
Example of a ‘Five Dollar Special’ — Looks Kinda’ Sad, Right?
We won’t TELL you who made the sandwich above, but we feel confident you can figure that out on your own. If not, then no one, not even the God of Bacon Him or Herself can help you…
Oh, and did you even SEE any bacon on that sandwich? Nothing! Not even a small, salty sliver! Horifying! Absolutely horrifying!
Moving on, though, wouldn’t you rather stop into a place like Four Moons for lunch where you can get a sandwich like…
Triple Decker Sandwich… Has Visible Bacon!
Now for just a few dollars more we can get a sandwich that has large chunks of meaty, salty, tasty bacon piled high. No brainer, right?
So to conclude, perhaps YOU ought to expand your culinary range and explore some of your local eateries so that you, too, can find your own Four Moons lunchtime feast… instead of eating another one of those bargain priced meals.
The old addage still rings as true today as it did 100’s of years ago: You Get What You Pay For!
Every great once in a while a photo opportunity will come our way that we simply cannot turn down. This time a bombshell of a babe with a Harley Davidson practically begged us to photograph her and her motorcycle next to some totally gorgeous bacon.
Our mommas taught us better than to turn down the polite request of young lady with a healthy rack, so…
07 Dec, 2009
Posted by: admin In: Crime|Funny Jokes|Humor|Jokes|Sarcastic
A smart-ass lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff’s deputy. He thinks that he is much better than the deputy because he is a lawyer from New York and is certain that he has a better education then any cop from Houston, TX . He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Texas deputy’s expense.
The deputy says, “License and registration, please.”
“What for?” asks the lawyer.
The deputy says, “You didn’t come to a complete stop at the stop sign.”
Then the lawyer says, “I slowed down and no one was coming.”
“You still didn’t come to a complete stop,” says the deputy. “License and registration, please.”
The lawyer says, “What’s the difference?”
“The difference is you have to come to complete stop, that’s the law. License and registration, please!” the Deputy repeats.
Lawyer says, “If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I’ll give you my license and registration and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don’t give me the ticket.”
“That sounds fair. Please exit your vehicle, sir,” the deputy says. At this point, the deputy takes out his nightstick and starts beating the daylights out of the lawyer and says, “Now, do you want me to “stop” or just “slow down?”
A recent study released by the Institute for the Development of Ridiculously Stupid Bacon Claims states that consuming large amounts of bacon and sausage will cure a hangover.
“After studying the results obtained from a double blind, half somersault experiment conducted at a friend’s house, we concluded that eating as much bacon and sausage after a long night of drinking will, in fact, cure a hangover… as long as you sleep a lot, drink lots of non-alcoholic fluids, and wait 48 hours before attempting to do anything useful.”
Critics argue that the study will give uneducated people the wrong idea about bacon’s healing powers and encourage people to drink excessively only because they think they will have an easy way to get around hangovers.
Authors of the study replied to that accusation by saying, “Uneducated people get what they deserve! If anyone takes studies like this seriously, well, they deserve a throbbing headache, nausea, cold sweats and vomiting!”
When we first told people about this pre-dinner treat that our waitress at Four Moons Restaurant slopped down in front of us, many people gave us funny looks and asked, “Uh, duck? With melon sorbet? WTF?!?”
At first we also wondered about the combination but once we stuffed this culinary treat into our feed holes, well, all doubts and suspicions vanished quicker than money from our bank accounts after a payroll direct deposit!
It may not look like much, partially due to the crappy photography skills and equipment that we possess, but it tasted AWESOME!
For those who have never had prosciutto, let alone DUCK prosciutto, you have seriously missed out on a kick ass meat! Now go out and try some, ya’ silly bastards!
