A little boy took his dog on a “take your pet to school” day. There were prizes for the smallest, the prettiest, the cutest, and the smartest pet.
Determined that his dog win a prize, the boy put his pet through a whole series of tricks.
Finally the boy turned to the dog and asked, “Mindy, how much is two plus two minus four?”
The dog sat quietly, making no sound, remaining still and silent. “Right!” exclaimed the boy.
His dog won first prize.
Whenever my aunt went to the doctor, she would complain to me about the long delay she always endured. One day, when my aunt’s name was finally called, she was asked to step on the scale.
“I need to get your weight today,” said the nurse.
Without a moment’s hesitation, my aunt replied, “One hour and 45 minutes!”
25 Mar, 2012
Posted by: Blakk Frogg In: Americas Best|Funny Pictures|Gross|Humor|MySpace|MySpace Comments|MySpace Pictures|Sarcastic
Looking for the perfect invitation to send your friends when you feel like grabbing some super spicy Thai food for lunch or dinner? Look no further!
24 Mar, 2012
Posted by: Blakk Frogg In: Americas Best|Funny Pictures|Humor|MySpace|MySpace Comments|MySpace Pictures|Sarcastic|Sex
The foundation of any relationship usually has something to do with communication. When a man and woman in a committed relationship spend a lot of time trying to figure out what thought each other has on their mind, they miss out on so many opportunities to call a divorce attorney.
The couple below will not have that problem.
23 Mar, 2012
Posted by: Blakk Frogg In: Americas Best|Funny Pictures|Humor|MySpace|MySpace Comments|MySpace Pictures|Sarcastic
As children many of you faced hardships resulting from other children stealing your toys in the sand box, stealing your toys on the playground, taking your toys in the classroom, and outright stealing your bike while you swam in the local watering hole.
Looking back, don’t you wish you had a superhero or, perhaps, a large group of muscle-bound giants that would go after the bad, mean thief and pound their brains into a flat, mushy brain pancake?
22 Mar, 2012
Posted by: Blakk Frogg In: Adult Humor|Adult MySpace Comments|Americas Best|Blakk Frogg Speaks|Funny Pictures|Gross|Humor|MySpace|MySpace Comments|MySpace Pictures|Sarcastic
If you ever wondered what the most beautiful picture of True, Everlasting Love looked like, well, Blakk Frogg thinks he may have found it:
Blakk Frogg says, “If you must die during a moment of passion, and not one by yourself, have the courtesy to let the other person get on top first!”
22 Mar, 2012
Posted by: Blakk Frogg In: Americas Best|Blakk Frogg Speaks|Funny Pictures|Gross|Humor|MySpace|MySpace Comments|MySpace Pictures|Sarcastic
While some of you may have looked at the title of this post and thought, “Oh, Frogg, that’s ridiculous! Why would a grown man or woman ever DO such a thing?!?”
Frogg’s answer: Because, as George Carlin (RIP) said, “FARTS ARE FUNNY!”
At least the sounds associated with them. The noxious, repulsive, toxic, and occasionally suffocating odors associated with them on the other hand, no one with a sense of smell laughs at THOSE.
No Laughing at Other People’s Farts?
So the next time some old man rips a dinosaur blast two stalls down, do not hesitate to laugh. Just remember that the more you laugh, the more air tainted with fossil fart fumes you will have to take in immediately afterward.
The Montana State Department of Fish and Wildlife is advising golfers to take extra precautions and be on the alert for bears while playing on Gallatin, Helena, and Lewis and Clark National Forests Golf Courses.
They advise golfers to wear noise-producing devices such as little bells on their clothing to alert, but not to startle the bears unexpectedly.
They also advise you to carry pepper spray in the case of an encounter with a bear. It is also a good idea to watch for signs of bear activity.
Golfers should be able to recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear droppings on the golf course.
Black bear droppings are smaller and contain berries and possibly squirrel fur.
Grizzly bear droppings have bells, golf-gloves and sunglasses in them and smell like pepper spray.
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Funny/Sexy/Sarcastic/Stupid MySpace Comments
OK, folks… If any of you morons out there in Internetland actually TRY any of the things on this list, you MORE than deserve the awful beatings and subsequent legal problems you will undoubtedly receive.
1. When you get pulled over, say “What’s wrong, ossifer, there’s no blood in my alcohol?”
2. When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you wanted to race.
3. When he talks to you, pretend you are deaf.
4. If he asks if you knew how fast you were going, say no, my speedometer only goes to…
5. Ask if you can see his gun.
6. When he says you aren’t allowed, tell him I just wanted to see if mine was bigger.
7. Touch him.
8. When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you had to buy a hat.
9. Ask him where he bought his cool hat.
10. Refer to him by his first name.
11. Pretend you are gay and ask him out.
12. When he says no, cry.
13. If he says yes, accuse him of sexual harassment.
14. If the cop is a woman, tell her how ugly she is, but in a nice way.
15. If he asks you to step out of the car, automatically throw yourself on the hood.
16. When he asks you to spread them, tell him you don’t go that way.
17. When he puts the handcuffs on, say “Usually my dates buy me dinner first”
18. Ask to be fingerprinted with candy, cause you don’t like ink on your fingers.
19. After you sign the ticket and give it to him, say “Oops! That’s the wrong name.”
20. Bribe him with donuts, and when he agrees, tell him sorry, I just ate the last one.
21. When he comes up to the car, say “License and registration, please” right when he says it.
22. When he goes to read you your rights, sing “La La La, I can’t hear you!”
23. Trip and fall into him.
24. Accuse him of police brutality when he pushes you away.
25. Before you sign the ticket, pick your nose. You have to sign with his pen.
26. Chew on the pen, nervously.
27. Clean your ear with the pen.
28. If it’s a click pen, take it apart and play with the spring.
29. Ask if he has a daughter. If he says yes, say I thought the name sounded familiar.
30. Ask him if he ever worked in a prison. If he says yes, ask him how the plumbing was.
31. Act like you are retarded.
32. When he’s telling you what you did wrong, start repeating him, quietly.
33. Mumble to yourself.
34. When he tells you to stop, say what are you talkin about, DUDE?
35. Drive to Dunkin Donuts and say hmmm….only 5 of you here tonight…….
36. Ask if they know how to make the donuts.
37. When he comes to the car, say I have a badge just like yours!
38. Ask if he watches Cops.
39. Ask if ever watched Cop Rock.
40. Giggle if he did.
41. Talk to your hand.
42. Ask if he knows someone named Rosy Palm and her Five Favorite Friends.
43. Accuse him of Sexual Harassment if he does.
44. When he frisks you, say You missed a spot, and grin.
45. When he asks to inspect your car, say there is no alcohol in my car, sir, the last cop got it.
46. Try to sell him your car.
47. Ask if you can buy his car.
48. If he takes you to the station, ask to sit in front.
49. Play with the siren.
50. If you know him, say you had his wife for dinner.
51. If you don’t know him, ask if you can have his wife for dinner. Oops…I meant OVER for dinner
52. Ask if he ever had pu-tang er.
53. If he asks what it is, point at him and giggle.
54. If there is someone else in the car, talk to each other in tongues.
55. When he acts confused, keep talking, look at him and laugh.
56. When you are in the back, touch his neck through the fencing.
57. Turn your head and whistle.
58. When he pulls out his night stick, say what you gonna do with that.
59. If you are female, say I don’t do that on the first date.
60. If he sticks you in the back of the car, cower in the corner, suck your thumb, and whine.
61. Stare at his lights and say “Look at the pretty colors!”
62. Tell him you like men in uniform.
63. Ask if you can borrow his uniform for a Halloween party.
19 Mar, 2012
Posted by: Blakk Frogg In: Alcohol|Americas Best|Blakk Frogg Speaks|Drinking|Funny Pictures|Humor|MySpace|MySpace Comments|MySpace Pictures|Sarcastic
As we get older thoughts about our past ex-lovers almost always cross our minds and sometimes we find ourselves staring in the mirror at ourselves and asking, “Seriously? Why in the HELL did I ever date THAT bitch/bastard?!?!?”
Then, like a bolt of lightning up our ass, we realize just how wasted we got for every waking moment of the relationship. Beer after beer, shot after shot, and ‘questionable substance’ after ‘questionable substance’.
Without a doubt we could have avoided those unsavory tramps and assholes if we had used our brains… relied on common sense… laid off the hooch… put down the fifth… didn’t inhale… and more or less ‘just said NO!’
