Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman.

The priest asked, “Is that you, little Johnny Parisi?

Yes, Father it is.

And who was the woman you were with?

I can’t tell you, Father. I don’t want to ruin her reputation.

Well, Johnny, I’m sure to find out her name sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?

I cannot say.

Was it Teresa Volpe?

I’ll never tell.

Was it Nina Capeli?

I’m sorry but I cannot name her.

Was it Cathy Piriano?

My lips are sealed.

Was it Rosa Di Angelo, then?

Please, Father, I cannot tell you!

The priest sighs in frustration. You’re very tight lipped, Johnny Parisi, and I admire that. But you’ve sinned and have to atone. You cannot attend church services for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.

Johnny walks back to his pew, and his friend Nino slides over and whispers, “What’d you get?”

Four months vacation and five good leads.

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

As usual that lazy Blakk Frogg took his sweet time putting the list of popular myspace comments from one of his domains… but at least he didn’t take a dump on your windshield this morning.

Americas Best MySpace Comments

Americas Best MySpace Comments

Americas Best MySpace Comments

Americas Best MySpace Comments

Americas Best MySpace Comments

For those of you who have not yet gotten offended, or turned on, whichever the case may be, please check out Americas Best MySpace Comments 6 – 10 …. and don’t forget to flush!

“Hi honey. This is Daddy. Is Mommy near the phone?”

“No Daddy. She’s upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.”

After a brief pause Daddy says, “But honey, you haven’t got an Uncle Paul.”

“Oh yes I do, and he’s upstairs in the room with Mommy right now.”

Brief Pause.

“Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy that Daddy’s car just pulled into the driveway.”

“Okay Daddy, just a minute.”

A few minutes later, the little girl comes back to the phone.

“I did it Daddy.”

“And what happened honey?”

“Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming.

Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser and now she isn’t moving at all!”

“Oh, my God! What about your Uncle Paul?”

“He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too. He was all scared, and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool.But I guess he didn’t know that you took out the water last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the pool, and I think he’s dead.”

***Long Pause***

Then Daddy says, “Swimming pool?” Is this 555-9600?”

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

Let us never forget that Blakk Frogg loves everyone and has no problem making fun of… everyone. Today he will post some jokes about Italians from an email he rec’d… from an Italian.

Why do Italians hate Jehovah’s Witnesses? Because Italians hate all witnesses.

Do you know why most men from Italy are named Tony? On the boat over to America they put a sticker on them that said (To New York) TO NY

You know you’re Italian when…

You can bench press 325 pounds, shave twice a day and still cry when your mother yells at you.

You carry your lunch in a produce bag because you can’t fit two cappicola sandwiches, 4 oranges, 2 bananas and pizzelles into a regular lunch bag.

Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant, travel agent and lawyer are all your cousins.

You have at least 5 cousins living in the same town or on the same block

All five of those cousins are named after your grandfather or grandmother.

You are on a first name basis with at least 8 banquet hall owners

You only get one good shave from a disposable razor.

If someone in your family grows beyond 5’9″, it is presumed his Mother had an affair.

There were more than 28 people in your bridal party.

You netted more than $50,000 on! your first communion.

And you REALLY, REALLY know you’re Italian when…

Your grandfather had a fig tree.

You eat Sunday dinner at 2:00.

Christmas Eve . .. . only fish.

Your mom’s meatballs are the best.

You’ve been hit with a wooden spoon or had a shoe thrown at you.

Clear plastic covers on all the furniture.

You know how to pronounce “manicotti” and “mozzarella.”

You fight over whether it’s called “sauce” or “gravy.”

You’ve called someone a “mamaluke.”

And you understand “bada bing”.

Americas Best MySpace Attitude Comments

And so now, before you label Blakk Frogg an anti-Italian racist bastard, please refer back to his re-posting of an Editorial on Illegal Immigration, posting of Buckwheat Pictures for MySpace and posting of a joke about Dumb Hillbilly Wives… and you’ll see that he really and truly picks on everyone equally. 😛

President Bush, First Lady Laura and Dick Cheney were flying on Air Force One. George looked at Laura, chuckled and said, “You know, I could throw a $1,000 bill out of the window right now and make somebody very happy.”

Laura shrugged her shoulders and replied, “I could throw ten $100 bills out of the window and make ten people very happy.”

Cheney added, “That being the case, I could throw one hundred $10 bills out of the window and make a hundred people very happy.”

Hearing their exchange, the pilot rolled his eyes and said to his co-pilot, “Such big-shots back there. Shit, I could throw all of them out of the window and make 56 million people very happy.”

Americas Best MySpace Political Comments

Due to the climate of political correctness

now prevailing in America,

Kentuckians, Tennesseans, North Carolinians, Virginians

and West Virginians

will no longer be referred to as

HILLBILLIES.

You must now refer to us as

APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS

Americas Best MySpace Redneck Comments

Mike was going to be married to Karen, so his father sat him down for a little chat.

He said, “Mike, let me tell you something. On my wedding night in our honeymoon suite I took off my pants, handed them to your mother and said, ‘Here try these on.’

She did and said, ‘These are too big! I can’t wear them.’

I replied, ‘Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will!’

Ever since that night we have never had any problems.”

“Hmmm,” said Mike. He thought that might be a good thing to try. On his honeymoon, Mike took off his pants and said to Karen, Here try these on.”

“She tried them on and said, “These are too large. They don’t fit me.

“Mike said, “Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will. I don’t want you to ever forget that.”

Then Karen took off her pants and handed them to Mike.

She said, “Here you try on mine.”

He did and said, “I can’t get into your pants.” Karen said,

“Exactly. And if you don’t change your smart-mouth attitude, you never will.”

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

A man went to church one day and afterward he stopped to shake the preacher’s hand. He said “Preacher, I’ll tell you, that was a damned fine sermon. Damned good!”

The preacher said, “Thank you sir, but I’d rather you didn’t use profanity in the Lord’s House.”

The man said, “Preacher, I was so damned impressed with that sermon I put five thousand dollars in the offering plate!”

The preacher said, “No shit?”

Americas Best MySpace Sarcastic Comments

Who here remembers the token black child actor named Buckwheat? Apparently his face and classic ‘O-Tay’ line have made a comeback and Blakk Frogg wants to help….. and then throw in a little something extra that’ll make ya’ think of Chris Rock!

Sarcastic MySpace Comments

Sarcastic MySpace Comments

Sarcastic MySpace Comments

Yep. Blakk Frogg loves to throw in something to piss off the ferrets, upset the llamas and cause the pterodactyls to vomit blood.

God went to the Arabs and said, “I have Commandments for you that will make your lives better.

The Arabs asked, “What are Commandments?”

And the Lord said, “They are rules for living.”

“Can you give us an example?”

“Thou shall not kill.”

“Not kill? We’re not interested”

He went to the Blacks and said, “I have Commandments.”

The Blacks wanted an example, and the Lord said, “Honor thy Father and Mother.”

“Father? We don’t know who our fathers are.”

Then He went to the Mexicans and said, “I have Commandments.”

The Mexicans also wanted an example, and the Lord said “Thou shall not steal.”

“Not steal? We’re not interested.”

Then He went to the French and said, “I have Commandments.”

The French too wanted an example and the Lord said, “Thou shall not commit adultery.”

“Not commit adultery? We’re not interested.”

Finally, He went to the Jews and said, “I have Commandments.

“Commandments?” they said, “How much are they?”

“They’re free.”

“We’ll take ten.”

There, that ought to offend just about everybody.

—————

And now for yet another Moses related item:

Americas Best MySpace Sarcastic Comments

There. That ought to have completed the cycle of pissing people off…… for now, at least. We reserve the right to come back and piss more people off later. 😛