Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southerner? Here is a little test that will help you decide:

SCENARIO:

You’re walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities and some seemingly unintelligible things about Jihad, raises the knife, and charges at you with the tenacity of a raging rhino.

You are carrying a Glock 40 handgun and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do? Below are your options, in no particular order:

• The Democrat’s Reply
• The Republican’s Reply
• The Southerner’s Reply

A United States Paratrooper was attending some college courses between assignments. He had completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan . One of the courses had a professor who was an avowed atheist and a member of the ACLU.

One day the professor shocked the class when he came in. He looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, “God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I’ll give you exactly 15 minutes.” The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, “Here I am God. I’m still waiting.” It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Paratrooper got out of his chair, went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him knocking him off the platform. The professor was out cold. The Paratrooper went back to his seat and sat there, silently. The other students were shocked and stunned and sat there looking on in silence. The professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the Paratrooper and asked, “What the hell is the matter with you? Why did you do that?”

The Paratrooper calmly replied, “God was too busy today protecting America’s troops who are protecting your right to say stupid shit like that and act like an asshole… So, He sent me.”

Americas Best Comments

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Blakk Frogg says, “Whether you agree or disagree with the ‘war activities’ currently taking place overseas or not, you had better agree that the brave men and women risking their lives for your right to debate such things deserve your respect and admiration.”

You can find other Patriotic Pictures for MySpace on http://americasbestcomments.com.

This letter/editorial came from a woman who had some definite opinions on the United States Immigration Policies and put together a pretty good analogy…..

“Recently large demonstrations have taken place across the country protesting the fact that Congress is finally addressing the issue of illegal immigration. Certain people are angry that the US might protect its own borders, might make it harder to sneak into this country and, once here, to stay indefinitely. Let me see if I correctly understand the thinking behind these protests.”

“Let’s say I break into your house. Let’s say that when you discover me in your house, you insist that I leave. But I say, “I’ve made all the beds and washed the dishes and did the laundry and swept the floors; I’ve done all the things you don’t like to do. I’m hard-working and honest (except for when I broke into your house).”

“According to the protesters, not only must you let me stay, you must add me to your family’s insurance plan, educate my kids, and provide other benefits to me and to my family (my husband will do your yard work because he too is hard-working and honest, except for that breaking in part).”

“If you try to call the police or force me out, I will call my friends who will picket your house carrying signs that proclaim my right to be there. It’s only fair, after all, because you have a nicer house than I do, and I’m just trying to better myself. I’m hard-working and honest, um, except for well, you know.”

“And what a deal it is for me!! I live in your house, contributing only a fraction of the cost of my keep, and there is nothing you can do about it without being accused of selfishness, prejudice and being an anti-housebreaker. Oh yeah, and I want you to learn my language so you can communicate with me.”

“Why can’t people see how ridiculous this is?! Only in America….if you agree, pass it on (in English). Share it if you see the value of it as a good simile. If not blow it off along with your future Social Security funds.”

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Now what could Blakk Frogg possibly have to say after that? Hmmm….. Nope. Nothing. He does, however, have a funny picture to show you, though:

Americas Best MySpace Political Comments

note: the above picture is clearly an image from a World Cup Soccer match that someone photoshop’ed, in case y’all couldn’t figure it out. Find more funny/sexy/sarcastic photoshop’ed images here.

Like a lot of folks in this country, Blakk Frogg has a job: He gets up each morning, goes to work, puts in at LEAST solid 8 hours of work. Every other week he gets a check. Simple as that.

He then pays taxes on his earnings and the government distributes his tax dollars as it sees fit.

Here’s the kicker, though… In order to get that paycheck, he has to pass a random urine test, with which he has no problem.

He DOES, however, object to the distribution of his hard-earned tax dollars to people who DON’T have to pass a urine test. He wonders WHY a person doesn’t have to pass a urine test in order to receive HIS money in the form of a welfare check. Seriously… HE has to pass one in order to EARN that money so shouldn’t THEY have to pass one before receiving it?

Please understand that Blakk Frogg has no problem with helping people get back on their feet. He does, on the other hand, have a problem with helping someone sit around on their lazy ass using drugs… on his dime.

Think about how much money state, local and federal government agencies would save if aid recipients had to pass regular, or random, urine tests before they could receive a public assistance check.

Democrat, Republican, Conservative or Liberal, it does not matter. If you agree with this message, spread the word. Otherwise your silence equals acceptance of the current situation… and you have no right to complain.

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You will find Blakk Frogg at Happy Hour…. He’s the tall, drunk bastard dancing on the pool table — again.

 Latest Immigration Poll in Arizona:
  The latest telephone poll taken by the Arizona Governor’s office, asked whether people who live in  Arizona think illegal immigration is a serious problem:

 29% of respondents answered:  “Yes, it is a serious problem.”

71% of respondents answered:  “No es una problema seriosa.”

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Disclaimer: The mighty Blakk Frogg does NOT discriminate against homosexuals, mexicans, ugly people, anti-Castro demonstrators, flying squirrels, people of color, people who lack color, straight people, crooked people, people who hate people OR people who love too many people, or the wrong people, and caught the gift that keeps on giving…. so don’t flood Blakk Frogg with hate emails ‘cuz he posted this.

It was funny, and you laughed… so shut your stinkin’ pie hole!

Like a lot of folks in this country, Blakk Frogg has a job:  He gets up each morning, goes to work, puts in at LEAST solid 8 hours of work.  Every other week he gets a check.  Simple as that.

He then pays taxes on his earnings and the government distributes his tax dollars as it sees fit.

Here’s the kicker, though… In order to get that paycheck, he has to pass a random urine test, with which he has no problem.

He DOES, however, object to the distribution of his hard-earned tax dollars to people who DON’T have to pass a urine test.  He wonders WHY a person doesn’t have to pass a urine test in order to receive HIS money in the form of a welfare check.  Seriously… HE has to pass one in order to EARN that money so shouldn’t THEY have to pass one before receiving it?

Please understand that Blakk Frogg has no problem with helping people get back on their feet.  He does, on the other hand, have a problem with helping someone sit around on their lazy ass using drugs… on his dime.

Think about how much money state, local and federal government agencies would save if aid recipients had to pass regular, or random, urine tests before they could receive a public assistance check.

Democrat, Republican, Conservative or Liberal, it does not matter.  If you agree with this message, spread the word. Otherwise your silence equals acceptance of the current situation… and you have no right to complain.

 – Blakk Frogg