13 Aug, 2009
Posted by: admin In: Funny Jokes|Humor|Jokes|Sarcastic
The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn’t paying attention in class.
She called on him and said, “Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?”
Little Johnny quickly replied, “NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!”
22 Jul, 2009
Posted by: admin In: Adult Humor|Adult MySpace Comments|Funny Jokes|Funny Pictures|Humor|Jokes|Sarcastic|Sex|Sex Joke
One day a little boy asks his mother, “Mommy? Why am I black and you are white?”
Mother turns to her son and says, “Listen… The way THAT party went you’re lucky you don’t bark!”
Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face.
“Why do you do that, mommy?” he asked.
“To make myself beautiful,” said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue.
“What’s the matter?” asked Little Johnny. “Giving up?”
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses.
She started her class by saying, “Everyone who thinks they’re stupid, stand up!”
After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up.
The teacher said, “Do you think you’re stupid, Little Johnny?”
“No, ma’am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!”
28 May, 2009
Posted by: admin In: Adult Humor|Babes|Celebrity Glamour Girls|Funny Jokes|Girls for MySpace|Humor|Jokes|Pretty Girls|Sarcastic
Once again we find ourselves poised and ready to take aim at blondes. Why? Because the Simply Frogg Crew received more blonde jokes in our email this morning! Sheesh. Must we explain everything to you?!?!?
click picture to enlarge
more celebrity glamour girls
Oh, and just to keep things interesting, we’ll add a blonde girl’s picture to each page… in case some of you forgot what they look like! 😛
Sister Mary, who worked for a home health agency, was out making her rounds visiting homebound patients when she ran out of gas. As luck would have it, a gas station was just a block away.
She walked to the station to borrow a gas can and buy some gas. The attendant told her that the only gas can he owned had been lent out, but she could wait until it was returned.
Since the nun was on the way to see a patient, she decided not to wait and walked back to her car. She looked for something in her car that she could fill with gas and spotted the bedpan she was taking to the patient
Always resourceful, she carried the bedpan to the station, filled it with gas, and carried the full bedpan back to her car.
As she was pouring the gas into her tank, two men watched from across the street. One of them turned to the other and said, “If it starts, I’m turning Catholic.”
25 May, 2009
Posted by: admin In: Adult Humor|Funny Jokes|Funny Pictures|Humor|Jokes
A firefighter was working on the engine outside the station when he noticed a little girl nearby in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides & a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle.
The girl was wearing a firefighter’s helmet. The wagon was being pulled by her dog & her cat.
The fire fighter walked over to take a closer look. “That sure is a nice fire truck,” the firefighter said with admiration.
“Thanks,” the girl replied.
The firefighter looked a little closer & noticed the girl had tied the wagon to her dog’s collar & to the cat’s testicles.
“Little partner,” the firefighter said “I don’t want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat’s collar, I think you could go faster.”
The little girl replied thoughtfully, “You’re probably right, but then I wouldn’t have a siren.”
Simply Frogg and Americas Best
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24 May, 2009
Posted by: admin In: Adult Humor|Funny Jokes|Humor|Jokes|Sarcastic
Ole vas vorking at the fish plant up nort in Dulut vhen he accidentally cut off all ten of his finkers.
He vent to da emergency room in the Clinik and vhen he got dar da Norsky doctor looked at Ole and said, “Let’s have da finkers and I’ll see vhat I can do.”
Ole said, “I haven’t got da finkers.”
“Vhat do you mean, you hafen’t got da finkers?” he said. “Lord – it’s 2007 and Ive’s got microsurgery and all kinds of incredible techniques. I could hafe put dem back on and made you like new! Vhy didn’t you brink da finkers?”
Ole says…….. “How da fock vas I suppose to pick dem up?”
23 May, 2009
Posted by: admin In: Adult Humor|Funny Jokes|Funny Pictures|Humor|Jokes|Redneck|Sex|Sex Joke
A husband & wife went to the rodeo and one of their first stops was the Breeding Bull exhibit.
They went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said, “This bull mated 50 times last year.”
The wife playfully nudged her husband in the ribs and said, “See, he mated 50 times last year … Once-a-week.”
They walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said, “This bull mated 120 times last year.”
The wife gave her husband a healthy jab and said, “That’s more than twice a week! You could learn a lot from him.”
They walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters, “This bull mated 365 times last year.”
The wife said, that’s once-a-DAY. You could REALLY learn something from this one.”
The husband looked at her and said, “Go over and ask him if it was with the same cow.”
NOTE: The husband’s condition has been upgraded from critical to stable.
Simply Frogg and Americas Best MySpace Comments
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22 May, 2009
Posted by: admin In: Adult Humor|Funny Jokes|Humor|Jokes|Sarcastic|Sex Joke
The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.
The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered in another race and it won again.
The local paper read:
PASTOR’S ASS OUT FRONT.
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in any more races.
The next day the local paper headline read:
BISHOP SCRATCHES THE PASTOR’S ASS.
This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey.
The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.
The local paper, hearing of the news,
Posted the following headline:
NUN HAS THE BEST ASS IN TOWN.
The Bishop fainted.
He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey so she sold it to a farmer for $10.
The next day the headlines read:
NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.
This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the high plains where it could run free.
The next day the headlines read:
NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.
Alas … The Bishop was buried the next day.
MORAL OF THE STORY?
Being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery and even shorten your life.
So, be yourself and enjoy life.
Stop worrying about everyone else’s ass and you’ll live longer.
