Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, “Seven Points.”

His wife rolls over and says, “What in the Hell was that?”

The old man replied, “It’s fart football.”

A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, “Touchdown, tie score.”

After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, “Aha. I’m ahead 14 to 7.”

Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, “Touchdown, tie score.”

Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, “Field goal, I lead 17 to 14.”

Now the pressure is on the old man.

He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard. Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he’s got, and accidentally shits in the bed.

The wife says, “What in God’s name was THAT?”

The old man says, “Half time, switch sides…………… “

One day a girl brings home her boyfriend and tells her father she wants to marry him. After talking to him for while, he tells his daughter she can’t do it because he’s her half brother. The same problem happens again four more times!

The girl starts to get pissed off. She goes to her mom and says, “Mom… What have you been doing all your life? Dad’s been going around laying every maiden in the town and now I can’t marry any of the five guys I like because they have turned out to be my half brothers!!!”

Her mom replies, “Don’t worry darling, you can marry any one of them you want, he isn’t really your dad.”

Dear Abby:

My husband is a liar and a cheat. He has cheated on me from the beginning, and, when I confront him, he denies everything. What’s worse, everyone knows that he cheats on me. It is so humiliating.

Also, since he lost his job five years ago, he hasn’t even looked for a new one. All he does all day is smoke cigars, cruise around and BS with his buddies while I have to work to pay the bills.

Since our daughter went away to college he doesn’t even pretend to like me and hints that I may be a lesbian. What should I do?

Signed, Clueless

Abby’s Response

People never cease to amaze Blakk Frogg with their interests and the things they like to look at and send to their friends over the Internet. Take, for instance, these popular Americas Best MySpace Comments:

Americas Best MySpace Comments

Americas Best MySpace Comments

Americas Best MySpace Comments

Americas Best MySpace Comments

Americas Best MySpace Comments

Yep. People definitely like some weird shit, right?

David finally found the nerve to tell his fiancee that he had to break off their engagement so he could marry another woman.

“Can she cook like I can?” the distraught woman asked between sobs.

“Not on her best day,” he replied.

“Can she buy you expensive gifts like I do?”

“No, she’s broke.”

“Well, then, is it sex?”

“Nobody does it like you, babe.”

“Then what can she do that I can’t?”

“Sue me for child support.”

Americas Best MySpace Break Ups Comments

Two illinois State Trooper Patrol cars were in hot pursuit of a Camaro heading east towards Indiana on I-80.

When the suspect crossed the Indiana line, the first trooper pulled over immediately. The rookie Trooper pulled over right behind him and asked, “Sarge, why’d you stop?”

“You dumb rookie,” replied the Sarge. “He’s in Indiana now. They’re an hour ahead of us, so we’ll never catch him.”

Americas Best MySpace Vehicles Comments

During their silver anniversary, a wife reminded her husband: Do you remember when you proposed to me, I was so overwhelmed that I didn’t talk for an hour?”

The hubby replied: “Yes, honey, that was the happiest hour of my life.”

Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady And after the wedding, he laid down the following Rules:

“I’ll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want and I don’t expect any hassle from you. I Expect a great dinner to be on table unless I tell you that I won’t be home for dinner. I’ll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don’t you give me a hard time about It. Those are my rules. Any comments?”

His new bride said, “No, that’s fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven O’clock every night … Whether you’re here or not.”

Free Adult MySpace Comments

George Bush has a heart attack and dies. He goes to hell where the Devil is waiting for him.

“I don’t know what to do here,” says the Devil. “You’re on my list but I have no room for you, but you definitely have to stay here, so I’ll tell you what I’m going to do. I’ve got 3 people here who weren’t quite as bad as you. I’ll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I’ll even let YOU decide who leaves.”

George thought that sounded pretty good, so he agreed. The devil opened the first room.

In it was Ted Kennedy and a large pool of water. He kept resurfacing over and over and over, gasping for air. Such was his fate in hell.

“No!” George said. “I don’t think so. I’m not a good swimmer and don’t think I could do that all day long.”

The devil led him to the next room. In it was Tony Blair with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time, and more rocks appeared. “No! I’ve got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day!” commented George.

The devil opened a third door. In it, George saw Bill Clinton lying naked on the floor with his arms staked over his head and his legs staked in spread eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.

George Bush looked at this in disbelief for a while and finally said, “Yeah, I can handle this.”

The devil smiled and said… “Monica, you’re free to go!”

A soldier was given the job of hunting for buffalo. To help him, he hired an Indian Scout.

The two of them set off on their journey to find buffalo. After riding awhile, the Indian gets off his horse, puts his ear to the ground and says “Humm, buffalo come”.

The soldier scans the area with his binoculars, but sees nothing. He is confused and says to the Indian, “I do not see anything, how do you know buffalo come?”

The Indian nonchalantly replies, “ear sticky.”