Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

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Now the obvious problem with this should jump out at you right away. Some people WANT chunks of bacon stuck in their teeth and refer to them as ’snacks for later’ or ‘flavor savers’.

Have you ever found yourself stuck in a meeting with no hope of getting out and chowing down on more bacon? Well if you had PLANNED ahead and NOT flossed you might have a chunk or two of bacon wedged between molars that you could dig out with your tongue and suck on…

But no, you had to do the hygienic thing and floss.

Stupid, stupid, stupid!

One day a little boy asks his mother, “Mommy? Why am I black and you are white?”

Mother turns to her son and says, “Listen… The way THAT party went you’re lucky you don’t bark!”

Would you believe some people do not know that different types of bacon exist? Where have these people LIVED all their lives? In a cave? In a van down by the river? Under a rock NEXT to the van down by the river?

Thankfully we have come to the aid of those unfortunate and uneducated souls. Below you will find a pretty good explanation of the different types/forms of bacon.

Pay attention because this WILL be on the TEST later. lol.

Streaky bacon comes from the belly of a pig. It is very fatty with long veins of fat running parallel to the rind. This is the most common form of bacon in the United States. Pancetta is Italian streaky bacon, smoked or aqua (unsmoked), with a strong flavour. It is generally rolled up into cylinders after curing. In America unsmoked streaky bacon is often referred to as side pork.

Back bacon comes from the loin in the middle of the back of the pig. It is a lean meaty cut of bacon, with relatively less fat compared to other cuts and has a ham-like texture and flavour. Most bacon consumed in the United Kingdom is back bacon. Also called Irish bacon or Canadian Bacon.

Middle bacon is much like back bacon but is cheaper and somewhat fattier, with a richer flavour.

Cottage bacon is thinly sliced lean pork meat from a shoulder cut that is typically oval shaped and meaty. It is cured and then sliced into round pieces for baking or frying.

Jowl bacon is cured and smoked cheeks of pork.

Bacon joints include the following:

Collar bacon is taken from the back of a pig near the head.

Hock, from the hog ankle joint between the ham and the foot.

Gammon, from the hind leg, traditionally “Wiltshire cured”.

Picnic bacon is from the picnic cut, which includes the shoulder beneath the blade. It is fairly lean, but tougher than most pork cuts.

( source )

No go forth into the world with your newly acquired bacon knowledge… and try not to fall flat on your face.

We salute you, Barney, for makling a burger piled high with bacon! We have not figured out exactly HOW a person would FIT that thing in their mouth, but anyways… It’s a gorgeous looking burger with plenty of bacon!

OK, so we feel sooooo much better knowing that people other than ourselves have gone through a decision-making nightmare involving bacon as complex as the one illustrated on this Bacon Flowchart.

We no longer feel like total losers… though honestly, we probably ought to. LOL.

Oops. It looks like another idiotic bacon web site has popped up. Why do we call the site idiotic? Because we know the bastards responsible for it, that’s why!

Seriously… Did you REALLY think WE would DARE make fun of something without good reason?

Hmmm… Scratch that last question. But anyways, www.MoreBaconPlease.com takes bacon and other tasty meat treats and tells you about them with a sarcastic, obnoxious attitude. So deal with it. Ha ha…

Oh, and up your nose with a pair of bacon-scented pantyhose!

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Oh, for the love of ANYthing Holy… Why the heck didn’t someone tell Blakk Frogg before now that he could get a Humping Dog for the unused/extra USB ports on his computer?

All these years his USB ports have remained empty for NO reason. Poor, poor unhumped USB ports… Soon your celibate days will come to an end!

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