We never claimed to have an art degree or lots of high tech photographic equipment so before you bother complaining about the poor quality of the image in this bacon blog entry, think about what we just said and feel relieved that we only photograph the bacon we eat and not ourselves eating bacon… in the bathroom.
So anyways, I awoke one day this weekend to the wonderful smell of… cat shit. No, just kidding. I awoke to the glorious aroma of bacon cooking. Apparently my girlfriend and her son got hungry before I even felt like crawling out of bed. Maybe I really DIDN’T need those last four or five beers at the tail end of the prior evening. Hmmmm…..
After gathering my wits about me and making sure I could walk down the hall without stepping on the cat, bouncing off the walls, or falling flat on my face, I sat down and allowed my eyes to focus on…
… bacon and eggs on my plate. Coincidentally, and somewhat ironically, I dare say that the photograph does an excellent job of showing you the plate of food (very tasty food) exactly as I saw it — through my half-asleep, possibly still swimming in beer eyes.
Needless to say I made quick work of the eggs and bacon and throughly enjoyed my breakfast.
Verdict: Bacon & eggs work quite well and taste quite good at hours other than 3:17 AM and locations other than Waffle House or Denny’s.
Due to the awesome timing of the bacon meal it received the coveted 5 bacon strip rating out of a possible 5. Congratulations, Bacon & Eggs!
Some people have theorized that living in the United States turns immigrants to the US into overweight, superficial a$$holes. We suspect those same people created this image…
Originally we thought about using this article to praise bacon for its wonderfully greasy nature. A trait which makes it sooooo damn good at 3:18 in the morning after a long night of drinking. No one can deny the soothing effect bacon has on a person’s stomach at that hour and under those conditions.
Something came to our attention recently, though, that has caused us to scrap the original bacon praising agenda. We will, instead, go with the alcohol theme and talk briefly about bacon flavored vodka.
Some people love it, some people hate it. We have not yet tried it. For some reason our love for beer just won’t allow us to take the bacon vodka plunge. That does not, however, mean we won’t talk about it like we know all about it. To not speak when we know nothing about a topic would make us… Boring.
No one likes Boring and Boring does not get invited to all the cool parties where hot ladies wearing bacon bikinis serve endless bacon appetizers, neverending bacon entrees, an eternity’s worth of bacon desserts… and now, apparently, they also serve a free flowing river of bacon flavored drinks.
What kind of drinks? Feast your bacon (and alcohol) loving eyes on these!
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Bakon Mary
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“Bakon Mary”
+ 1 oz. to 1½ oz. Bakon Vodka in a Highball glass filled with ice.
+ Fill glass with tomato juice
+ 1 dash celery salt
+ 1 dash ground black pepper
+ 1 dash Tabasco
+ 2-4 dashes of Worcestershire sauce
+ 1/8 tsp. horseradish (pure, never creamed)
+ Dash of lemon or lime juice
Garnish with a celery stalk; a skewer of olives, pickles, carrots, mushrooms, or other vegetables; or even meat or shrimp (bacon, salami, shrimp, etc.) and cheese. Pickled asparagus spears or pickled beans are also great as a garnish.
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Bakon Chocolate Martini
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“Bakon Chocolate Martini”
+ 1 part Bakon Vodka
+ 1 part chocolate liqueur
+ A splash of cream
Combine in a cocktail shaker and shake with ice. Strain and pour into a sugar-rimmed martini glass.
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Irish Boar
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“Irish Boar”
+ 2 parts Bakon Vodka
+ 1 part coffee liqueur
+ 1 part Irish cream
+ 1/2 part hazelnut liqueur
+ 1 part half-and-half
Shake with ice, strain into salt- and sugar-rimmed martini or rocks glass. Contributed by Adam at the Twilight Exit in Seattle, WA.
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Bakon Rosemary Martini
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“Bakon Rosemary Martini”
+ 1 part Bakon Vodka
+ Dash of dry vermouth
+ 1 sprig of rosemary
Stir all ingredients in a mixing glass without ice for a few seconds. Add lots of ice cubes and stir more and strain into a well chilled cocktail glass. Garnish with a sprig of rosemary and a cocktail onion.
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Fo all of you who think it harsh and mean of us to imply that many people who attend raves or really enjoy the rave seen take drugs or use prescribed medications in an inappropriate manner, well, you have obviosly either never gone to a rave or had real FUN at a real rave… but we sure as Hell have!
Why ELSE do you think glow sticks, massages, stobe lights, repetitive electronic music and gnawing the inside of one’s face off seems so appealing to so many people — every weekend!
On this super splendid Sunday morning we, the bacon lovers responsible for this bacon blog, tip our hats to DebbieDoesCakes for this artisitc masterpiece… a cake that so closely resembles a slab of bacon that even the best of butchers would get confused.
As stated before, we don’t really get down w/ sweet stuff like candy, cakes, pies and such… but this gorgeous bacon slab cake would definitely lead us into temptation!
This poster once contained a lot of personal information about some guy’s ex-girlfriend who liked to sniff cocaine and was last seen banging the guy’s former best friend. According to rumor it got posted all over a bridge in a mjor US city.
Payback’s a B!TCH, ya’ dirty tramp! Ha ha…
27 Sep, 2009
Posted by: admin In: Humor
I was packing for my business trip and my three year old daughter was having a wonderful time playing on the bed. At one point she said, “Daddy, look at this,” and stuck out two of her fingers.
Trying to keep her entertained, I reached out and stuck her tiny fingers in my mouth and said, “Daddy’s gonna’ eat your fingers,” pretending to eat them.
I went back to packing, looked up again and my daughter was standing on the bed staring at her fingers with a devastated look on her face.
I said, “What’s wrong, honey?”
She replied, “What happened to my booger?”
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How about some MySpace Toilet Comments?
The last time we talked about Hormel Black Label Bacon we praised it highly and started drooling as we typed its review. Though the review this time will not take as long, since we really hate to repeat ourselves and see no reason to bore you, it will suffice to say that we enjoyed the Hormel Black Label Bacon. Again.
As usual we opened up our latest pack of bacon all the way to get a good, close look at its marbled appearance and allow its smoky aroma to break free from the confines of the bacon’s hermetically sealed packaging. Then we layed it out all sexy like…
Overly dramatic? We don’t think so. No true bacon lover would think so! Shame on you for even THINKING that bacon does not deserve such care and concern… before it gets tossed into a hot pan and cooked.
Nothing makes a bacon lover happier than seeing bacon in the pan. Nope. Nothing. Bacon in the pan equals unparalleled euphoric bliss.
OK, we lied. Fresh cooked bacon in a bacon lover’s hand delivering it to the bacon lover’s mouth makes a bacon lover happier. Now on withthe show, please!
This concludes another test of the Emergency Bacon Broadcasting Network. Had this been an actual bacon emergency a man in a shredded lab coat wearing a gas mask and jogging shoes would have kicked down your door and offered you three pounds of Hormel Black Label Bacon for the low, low price of… of… Well with prices that low we can’t tell you over the air! Why? ‘Cuz we’re insaaaaaaane!
Thank you Hormel Black Label Bacon! We love you!
Sick as it sounds, someone actually thought to name a product ‘Spreaders’. It apparently come from the ‘Guy Buffet Collection’. Question: Do they pronounce that first word as ‘Gee’ like bee, or as ‘Gie’ like the synonym for man or male.
If the latter, then y’all can keep these darn things ‘cuz we have need for Spreaders that come from a Guy Buffet. Yuck!
As much as we LOVE eating, smelling and even just talking about bacon and its meaty glory, sometimes we stumble across a bacon item that makes us… wonder how much weed (marijuana, kind bud, herb, etc.) a person had to smoke in order to come up with such an idea.
Culinary experts have successfully blended a large number of sweet and salty flavors for hundreds of years so why not combine the sweetness of fine chocolate and the salty goodness of bacon, right? With that said, we now present “Bacon Infused Chocolate” for your viewing pleasure:
A friend of ours found this bacon infused chocolate treat in a gourmet foods store which sold a variety of unique foods — some of which she said would probably not get sold at all, to anyone, if they didn’t have inflated pricetags and the word ‘gourmet’ plastered all over their labels.
Verdict: The bacon infused chocolate bar did not win our hearts despite having bacon in it. This may have happened because we felt the bacon had too smoky a flavor to it and it reminded us more of bacon flavoring than actual bacon and we don’t really get down with sweets all that often. Just not our thing, ya’ know?
Oh, and let us not forget that the candy bar cost someone we know seven or eight dollars. She could have gotten two (or more) pounds of actual real bacon for that much money!
Rating: 1 bacon slice out of 5… and that’s only ‘cuz we refuse to use fractions and nothing w/ bacon in it, no matter how horrible, deserves a rating of 0 slices.
