Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

A single mother was in the delivery room starting to deliver her baby. As the head came out it was dark and had an afro.

The doctor said, “Madam, have you ever slept with a black man?”

“Well, yes, but only once.”

“Once is all it takes” he replied.

Then the torso came out and it was yellow.

“Madam, have you ever slept with an oriental man?”

“Well, yes” she said, “but only once.”

“Once is all it takes,” he said.

When the legs came out they were red. The doctor asked her if she had ever slept with an Indian.

“Well, yes” she said, “but only once.”

“Once is all it takes,” he said.

He finally pulled the baby all the way out and held it upside down and slapped its bottom to make it cry.

As it started to cry the woman exclaimed, “Oh, thank God, at least it doesn’t bark….”

place your cursor over text box and press Ctrl-C to copy the HTML code
<a href=http://www.sarcasticmyspace.com/ style='text-decoration: none;'><img src=http://www.americas-best.com/graphics/pics_nice-tits-dog.jpg alt="Americas Best MySpace Comments" border=0><br /><font size="2"><strong>Sarcastic MySpace Comments</a><br /><i>if it ain’t sarcastic, it SUCKS!</i></strong></font>

Here’s a truly heartwarming story about the bond formed between a little 5-year-old girl and some construction workers that makes you believe that we CAN make a difference when we give a child the gift of our time.

A young family moved into a house next door to a vacant lot. One day a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot.

The young family’s 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers.

Eventually the construction crew, all of them gems-in-the-rough, more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.

At the end of the first week they even presented her with a pay envelope containing a couple of dollars. The little girl took this home to her mother who said all the appropriate words of admiration and suggested that they take the two dollar “pay” she had received to the bank the next day to start a savings account.

When they got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own pay check at such a young age.

The little girl proudly replied, “I worked last week with the crew building the house next door to us.”

“My goodness gracious,” said the teller, “and will you be working on the house again this week, too?”

The little girl replied, “I will if those assholes at Home Depot ever deliver the fucking sheet rock…”

Stories like this just bring a tear to your eye.

place your cursor over text box and press Ctrl-C to copy the HTML code
<a href=http://www.sarcasticmyspace.com/ style='text-decoration: none;'><img src=http://americas-best.com/graphics/pics_surrounded-by-assholes.jpg alt="Americas Best MySpace Comments" border=0><br /><font size="2"><strong>Sarcastic MySpace Comments</a><br /><i>if it ain’t sarcastic, it SUCKS!</i></strong></font>

Two Blonde men were in the woods hunting. One looked at the other and said, “I’ve got to take a shit.”

The other said, “Well go behind one of those big trees, and shit.”

The first one said, “But I don’t have any paper to wipe my ass.” The other blonde replied, “You have a dollar, don’t you?”

The first one said, “Yeah, I’ve got a dollar. That’s a great idea — I’ll use that!”

He left and came back with shit all over his hands and clothes.

His friend looked at him and asked, “What in the hell happened to you?”

The first one replied, “Have you ever tried to wipe your ass with 3 quarters, 2 dimes, and a nickel?”

“I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.”

–Tom Clancy

Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells Luther, “Ya know, I reckon I’m ’bout ready for a vacation. Only this year I’m gonna do it a little different!”

“The last few years, I took your advice about where to go. Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Earline got pregnant.”

“Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas, and Earline got pregnant again. Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Earline didn’t get pregnant again.””

Luther asks Billy Bob, “So, what you gonna do this year that’s different?”

Billy Bob says, “This year I’m taking Earline with me.”

Sarcastic MySpace Comments
if it ain’t sarcastic….. then it sucks!

To celebrate the day when a lot of people injure themselves while puking up green beer, Jameson’s Irish Whiskey, and whatever foods they managed to scarf down between raucous verses of songs they sing only when wasted, or as we like to call it, shit hammered on St. Patrick’s Day, we will not post a list of jokes involving drinking:

• New Mixed Drink for Her Man
• Average Miles per Gallon for Beer Drinking Americans
• The Alcoholic Alphabet
• Old Lady Joins a Biker Gang
• Why Parents and Grandparents Drink
• I Spat in This Beer
• Martini and the Shirt Pocket
• Drunk Guy Waiting on the Corner

Americas Best MySpace Drinking Comments

Americas Best MySpace Drinking Comments

Americas Best MySpace Drinking Comments

Americas Best MySpace Drinking Comments

We figured this posting really and truly needed to get written on today, March 17th, because a lot of you boneheads will go out tonight, get wasted on Irish Car Bombs and green beer, and drive your cars into mailboxes, trees, guardrails, etc. on the way home — or to the next pub.

Let this next news story serve as a warning to you: Don’t be a Botos!

Drunken Neb. man who missed hearing gets prison

Associated Press – March 16, 2010 2:15 PM ET

PAPILLION, Neb. (AP) – A 30-year-old Bellevue man who showed up too drunk last week for his drunken-driving sentencing has been given a year in prison.

Judge Jeffrey Funke of Sarpy County District Court said Tuesday that Jason Botos (BOH-tahs) was a danger to society and should be behind bars. It was Botos’ second DUI conviction.

Last Thursday, Botos arrived at the Papillion courthouse so drunk that he couldn’t attend the scheduled sentencing. Botos had pleaded guilty to misdemeanor drunken driving in a September 2009 collision with five other vehicles.

Deputies arrested Botos in the parking lot on a warrant from the judge, who on Tuesday gave Botos 90 days more in county jail for missing his sentencing on Thursday. ( source )

Scary, ain’t it? That guy caused an accident involving 5 cars ago as part of the events that resulted in his second DUI conviction… and could not manage to sober up enough nearly 6 months later to at least walk into the courthouse under his own power and lie to the Judge about how he felt bad for for what he did and had cleaned up his act.

So getting back to the point of this message, have a designated driver or at least lay off on a few rounds of drinks tonight and… Don’t be a Botos!

Time for Some Fun Drinking-Related Photos!

Americas Best MySpace Drinking Comments

Americas Best MySpace Drinking Comments

Americas Best MySpace Drinking Comments

Americas Best MySpace Drinking Comments

Americas Best MySpace Drinking Comments

Stay tuned today because we’ve got more drinking and drunken photos in store as the day goes on… unless we get too drunk too early at the computer and pass out in our chair. 😛

Anyone with an IQ over 40 knows that Blakk Frogg enjoys going to the beach and the local pool where he gets to see pretty young ladies wearing clothing as thin dental floss to cover their ‘naughty bits’ — and he’s not ashamed or afraid to admit it!

Long live the hotties by the pool wearing ‘butt floss’ for the public’s viewing pleasure! Just please don’t tell Blakk Frogg’s girlfriend he said that… Ha ha.

Sarcastic MySpace Free Picture Comments

One day a woman went to her pastor and asked, “Pastor there are some things in life that aren’t addressed in the Bible; how are we supposed to deal with them?”

The Pastor responded, “There are no such things, give me an example of what you are talking about”.

The woman responded, “PMS is not in the Bible”. So the Pastor thought and told the woman to call back in the morning and he would have the answer.

The woman called the next morning and asked if the Pastor had an answer about PMS in the Bible.

The Pastor replied, “Yes, it’s the part where Mary rides Joseph’s ass all the way to Bethlehem!!!”.

Most Popular Americas Best MySpace
myspace comments message board

A rural Texas farmer’s wife came home and found her husband in bed with another woman.

She was so mad – she grabbed him by the hair of his head and yanked him right out of bed and across the room. She dragged him down the stairs, out the back door, and into the tool shed out back of the barn.

She put his tally-whacker in a vice, and then secured it tightly and removed the handle. Next she picked up an old rusty saw.

The banged up farmer was terrified, and hollered, “Stop! Stop! you’re not gonna’ cut it off with that rusty damn saw, are you?”

The wife, with a gleam of revenge in her eye, put the saw in her cheating husband’s hand and said, “Nope. I’m gonna’ set this old shed on fire, and go to town for a cold beer. You do what you gotta’ do!!!”

Simply Frogg and Americas Best
free jokes, comments and graphics

A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for several years. One night, during a rendezvous, she confided in him she was pregnant.

Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child. If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18.

She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discreet, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write “Spaghetti” on the back.

He would then arrange for child support payments to begin.

One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.

“Honey,” she said, “you received a very strange post card today.”

“Oh, just give it to me and I’ll explain it,” he said nonchalantly.

The wife watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted.

On the card was written: “Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without.”

Simply Frogg and Americas Best
free jokes, comments and graphics

History: Blakk Frogg came across the above photograph mounted on the wall of an Italian restaurant on the outskirts of Munich, Germany near the old Munich airport. Not that too many of you would CARE where the image came from, but for those that did care, thank you for caring. As for the rest of you, go scratch!