Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

A little boy took his dog on a “take your pet to school” day. There were prizes for the smallest, the prettiest, the cutest, and the smartest pet.

Determined that his dog win a prize, the boy put his pet through a whole series of tricks.

Finally the boy turned to the dog and asked, “Mindy, how much is two plus two minus four?”

The dog sat quietly, making no sound, remaining still and silent. “Right!” exclaimed the boy.

His dog won first prize.

Americas Best MySpace Animal Comments

Whenever my aunt went to the doctor, she would complain to me about the long delay she always endured. One day, when my aunt’s name was finally called, she was asked to step on the scale.

“I need to get your weight today,” said the nurse.

Without a moment’s hesitation, my aunt replied, “One hour and 45 minutes!”

No, Sir, Your Penis is Scared to Death!

Looking for the perfect invitation to send your friends when you feel like grabbing some super spicy Thai food for lunch or dinner? Look no further!

Thai Native Noodles Makes the Rectum Flame!

On a senior citizen bus tour, the driver was surprised. While the passengers were unloading, to do some sightseeing, one elderly lady stopped and whispered in his ear, “Driver, I believe that I was sexually harassed!”

The driver didn’t think much of this complaint, but promised he would check into it soon.

Later, that very same day, as the passengers were unloading again, a second little old lady bent down and whispered in his ear, “Sir, I believe I was sexually harassed!”

This time, he knew it had to be taken care of soon. A few passengers had remained on the bus, and he decided to go back and question them, to see if they had any knowledge of what was going on.

He found one little old man crawling along the bus floor underneath the seats and stooped down to question him. “Excuse me, sir, could I help you?”

The elderly man looked up and said, “Well, sonny, you sure can. I’ve lost my toupee and I’m trying to find it. I thought I’d located it twice, but they were parted in the middle, and mine’s parted on the side!”

Men Make the Strangest Requests!

The foundation of any relationship usually has something to do with communication. When a man and woman in a committed relationship spend a lot of time trying to figure out what thought each other has on their mind, they miss out on so many opportunities to call a divorce attorney.

The couple below will not have that problem.

Wear Your Thoughts in the Open!

One Monday morning, Roy, the UPS man is driving the neighborhood on his usual route. As he approaches one of the homes he noticed that both cars were in the driveway. His wonder was cut short by Bob, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty beer and liquor bottles.

“Wow Bob, looks like you guys had one hell of a party last night,” the UPS man comments.

Bob, in obvious pain, replies “Actually we had it Saturday night. This is the first I have felt like moving since 4:00 am Sunday morning. We had about fifteen couples from around the neighborhood over for some weekend fun and it got a bit wild. We got so drunk around midnight that we started playing WHO AM I.”

The UPS man thinks a moment and says, “How do you play WHO AM I?”

“Well, all the guys go in the bedroom and we come out one at a time with a sheet covering us, with only our ‘privates’ showing through a hole in the sheet. Then the women try to guess who it is.”

The UPS man laughs and says, “Damn, I’m sorry I missed that.”

“Probably a good thing you did,” Bob responded. “Your name came up seven times.”

Grab ’em from behind and keep ’em guessing!

As children many of you faced hardships resulting from other children stealing your toys in the sand box, stealing your toys on the playground, taking your toys in the classroom, and outright stealing your bike while you swam in the local watering hole.

Looking back, don’t you wish you had a superhero or, perhaps, a large group of muscle-bound giants that would go after the bad, mean thief and pound their brains into a flat, mushy brain pancake?

Who Stole Your Bike? Let’s Get Him!

If you ever wondered what the most beautiful picture of True, Everlasting Love looked like, well, Blakk Frogg thinks he may have found it:

What Does Everlasting Love REALLY Look Like?

Blakk Frogg says, “If you must die during a moment of passion, and not one by yourself, have the courtesy to let the other person get on top first!”

While some of you may have looked at the title of this post and thought, “Oh, Frogg, that’s ridiculous! Why would a grown man or woman ever DO such a thing?!?”

Frogg’s answer: Because, as George Carlin (RIP) said, “FARTS ARE FUNNY!”

At least the sounds associated with them. The noxious, repulsive, toxic, and occasionally suffocating odors associated with them on the other hand, no one with a sense of smell laughs at THOSE.

No Laughing at Other People’s Farts?

So the next time some old man rips a dinosaur blast two stalls down, do not hesitate to laugh. Just remember that the more you laugh, the more air tainted with fossil fart fumes you will have to take in immediately afterward.

The Montana State Department of Fish and Wildlife is advising golfers to take extra precautions and be on the alert for bears while playing on Gallatin, Helena, and Lewis and Clark National Forests Golf Courses.

They advise golfers to wear noise-producing devices such as little bells on their clothing to alert, but not to startle the bears unexpectedly.

They also advise you to carry pepper spray in the case of an encounter with a bear. It is also a good idea to watch for signs of bear activity.

Golfers should be able to recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear droppings on the golf course.

Black bear droppings are smaller and contain berries and possibly squirrel fur.

Grizzly bear droppings have bells, golf-gloves and sunglasses in them and smell like pepper spray.

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